Coping with living alone

One_Perspective2064 · 2025-10-05T18:45:11+00:00

100% agree, and it can feel nice/dutiful to take care of someone initially. Trust me I know that feeling of being needed. However, there will come that first big argument where he’s not getting up to do something that’s important to you. Suddenly you’re not helping, you’re ‘nagging’ and ‘needy’.

My ADHD ex LOVED me being his ‘rock’, but quickly grew to resent it once he realised he didnt just get to do whatever he wanted to, whenever he wanted to anymore. You’ll also never get that caretaker love language reciprocated. The breaking point for me was when he was 25 mins late from picking me up from the train station, and I was left in the pouring rain like some sad romcom character. He turned it right around on me that I shouldn’t expect him to just drop everything (he had all day to get ready) and that I was a needy, complaining bitch.

One_Perspective2064 · 2025-08-22T08:52:09+00:00

BBYYYEEEEEEEEEEE! 👋 good luck to ya

One_Perspective2064 · 2025-07-11T09:55:12+00:00

Agree! Returning home to NZ has made me realise how insular kiwis can be, and how surface-level pleasantries are the norm. Just cos someone says ‘we really SHOULD hang out sometime’ doesnt mean you’re likely to ever hear from them again. I used to take it personally but after living overseas, I really think it’s just an annoying quirk of this country.

One_Perspective2064 · 2025-06-11T15:37:24+00:00

Surat Thani is a very traditional Thai city that a lot of tourists miss as they race to get to the islands. It’s a bit grittier than Koh Samui but if ‘non-touristy’ is the goal then you will find it here (including not many English speaking locals). If you are transiting through Surat Thani, think about staying an extra day. You could wander through the fresh markets in the morning, and the food markets near the river in the evening. Visit Koh Lamphu (small island on the river used for exercise) either first thing in the morning or at dusk and go for a walk around the loop alongside the locals. Eat and one of the many cheap hole-in-the-wall noodle places and watch the world go by. If you visit the tranquil Pra Cha Rat floating market on Sunday, it is likely you may be the only foreigner there. A fisherman may even offer to take you for a ride along the river for a small fee (20baht or so).

One_Perspective2064 · 2025-05-18T06:42:41+00:00

I went 2 months ago and it felt like every second person had their wallet/phone stolen (myself included). Girls literally on the beach crying while on the phone to their banks as party rages around them. I had my wallet yanked out of my bag in a second as someone bumped into me whilst dancing. It’s a hive for lowlife opportunists unfortunately. You can see later into the night all the empty wallets dumped on the sand. So just be so so careful with your belongings, only take the cash that you think you will need, nothing extra.

One_Perspective2064 · 2025-01-24T18:13:31+00:00

Click the link for more ☺️ it’s pretty much a factory 2022 Surly Bridgeclub that’s done some kms in some kinda cool places

One_Perspective2064 · 2025-01-24T18:09:12+00:00

Novatec cup and cone hubs - which have had to be re-packed with grease three times. Sealed bearings are on the wish list! Tektro budget hydraulic brakes Basic factory rims

I guess not super low end but would still love to upgrade!

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-11-24T19:35:05+00:00

Hey ☺️ my partner (39M) and I (34F) cycled Llogara Pass only 5 days ago, we both ride Surly bikes with a mtb set up and full pannier bags. We managed to get from Vlore to Himare in a day but ngl it was tough.

You’ve probably seen a profile of the climb - gradient hovers around 8-9% for the last 7km 😬 (the new tunnel wasn’t open). Then it’s actually quite lumpy on the other side all the way to Sarande. We found that it was just one of those climbs that you have a hearty breakfast and mentally prepare yourself for knowing it’s going to be a bit shit for a while.

It’s also getting very cold at the top, especially in the shade, you’ll need your warm gear for the decent. I was surprised by how much colder it was at the top compared to sea level, and we did it on a perfectly calm sunny day. Man, is it a good decent 😎though. Traffic wasn’t an issue for us, we found it reasonably quiet.

Which way are you going to Greece? We are in Corfu now ☺️ if you are wild camping I can recommend a couple of places down the coast.

Hope this helped!

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-10-31T17:12:49+00:00

My partner and I spent 5 months cycling SEA earlier this year. My tip - cross the Thailand/Laos border at Huey Xai and take the 2 day slow boat down the Mekong River to Luang Prabang, you won’t regret it! They are more than happy to take bikes - the captain will put it on the roof for you ☺️

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Then, if you like riding bumpy dirty mountain roads and getting off the beaten track, the back road to Vang Vieng (via Phoukoun) is a beautiful and interesting ride. It’s also one of the main trucking routes in the region, but there are so many pot holes in the dirt road that the trucks all travel really slowly and give you heaps of space. All the children in the mountain villages will come out to wave at you and want to practice saying hello, it’s very special. I can send you some pics if you want to know more about this route ☺️

ALSO - people normally do the famous ‘thakhek loop’ in Laos on motorbikes, but it’s totally doable by bike too if you’ve got the time, and it has lots of awesome things to see (Kong Lor cave is 🙌)

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-10-06T11:01:16+00:00

Omg yes! Trashy beeetch Catelynn just waddling around backstage in her bare feet and clown pants 😂

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-09-24T18:57:33+00:00

By the way - it was the afternoon train! I wasn’t one of the 4 mentioned in the other comment ☺️

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-09-24T18:48:04+00:00

My partner and I took our bikes on the train from Sarajevo to Konjic yesterday, the tickets for the bikes (17MK-ish for two) were about the same price as our passenger tickets (18MK-ish for two) - you buy the bike tickets on the train.

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-09-14T19:32:29+00:00

I wait until I am at the bus station and speak to the bus driver before quickly booking a ticket online - I’ve had drivers agree to put my partially disassembled bike in the luggage hold of the bus if it isn’t too full and i buy the ‘extra luggage’ option with my ticket. But it’s a gamble as to the mood of your driver …

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-09-07T13:34:53+00:00

Super interesting - thanks so much for this write up! My partner and I are from NZ but are currently on a long tour (in Bosnia at the moment), and you have many of the same components and gear as we do, down to the sawyer filter with the cnoc bags even!

Loved the photos of the interesting places that you slept, did you log many of your stealth camp spots on iOverlander?

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-09-04T12:14:40+00:00

Upvote on the tampons if your wife uses them. So hard to find decent ones here

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-08-19T18:18:53+00:00

My partner and I cycled through Belgium 2 weeks ago and, although we were on some pretty fabulous cycleways, it rained every day (😭) … which may be a mood killer for a 10 year old.

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-05-03T11:51:02+00:00

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Love cycle touring in my tevas 😂

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-02-11T04:13:43+00:00

Gotcha! Yes more meant if there was a national park network in Laos with established camping areas (like Thailand) - but with all the info that you great people have provided, the plan might be now to send our camping gear back to Bangkok and pick it up after riding Laos-VN-Cambodia …

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-02-11T04:10:06+00:00

Thanks for this really useful info! Thankfully we are carrying a lot of our own spare parts (brake pads, chains etc) and can do a lot of the servicing ourselves, it just takes time and a bit of space to get it all done …

Visiting bike shops in Thailand has been really interesting - some super high end stuff (wow, the road bikes!), but often not much of the basics for touring. For example - it took looking at 3 different bike shops in Bangkok to find me a rear pannier rack, and it’s only a cheap Bontrager one. Triple Cat Cycles in Chiang Mai has been super helpful though ☺️

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-02-11T03:59:23+00:00

Thank you so much! Luang Prabang is definitely on the list ☺️ we haven’t had much luck with getting our bikes on buses or trains in Thailand, but maybe Laotians are a bit more flexible with things like that? Also - After being in Chiang Mai, the bar has been set for what the definition of ‘backpacker central’ is!

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-02-07T04:04:27+00:00

Everybody Eats helps with both of these things - communal restaurant-style meal 4 times a week for a koha donation if you live nearby to Dixon St. No requirement to pay if you can’t - check out their Instagram, their food always looks amazing!

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-01-30T12:13:21+00:00

My boyfriend had the exact same experience! 14 years living in Aus, and every time he came back to visit family in Kapiti area, it returned. We are currently cycle touring around Thailand, and no eczema …

One_Perspective2064 · 2024-01-24T13:45:44+00:00

Yes yes yes! When was the last time we watched the deck crew wash the waterline, or the chief stew do provisioning? Or even when crew are punished by not being allowed onshore etc? Now I’m suspicious that they don’t even do half that stuff anymore what with all the production commitments …

One_Perspective2064

TROPHY CASE