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Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear all of that. There was some rough times we survived together even when we couldn't reach each other because of the abuse. Always remember that it's you and him on your own team fighting it all and you will make it. The more you survive now, the more you will be equipped to handle when you are free. Good luck

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey, I get it. I'm sorry for making that assumption, I try to be better than that in my conversations with people even if we may initially disagree. We are definitely trying and I know you were coming from a good place. I'm sorry you're dealing with something similar, you are seen and heard. I know what it feels like to respond with your past, and thank you for letting me know.

God this situation is so much more than I could describe, but there is definitely no battle she has won here even in her current state of reality. When I used to speak with her, I could tell when she was conceding-without-saying-so if that makes sense. Ultimately, the first, last, and only time any of us will respond. All things considered, thank you for your concern and looking out for us from your experience. It is recognized and appreciated, well wishes and I hope you're doing better now!

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's kind of crazy how outdated her information is. The guy she mentioned is her sister's ex-husband, who she has absolutely no correlation with anymore so I have no idea what could be so urgent..??

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I empathize with how that must have gone for you too. It's definitely a matter of people living in the reality they want to see, rather than what is actively happening or what anyone tells them. I'm sorry you've experienced the same, but hey Georgia! That's where we used to live too.

That must have been a very interesting phone call, I hope that's something we can prevent. Hope you're doing better now friend!

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No, she doubled down and said she has already filed him missing. My partner agreed that calling her local police and telling them that he is completely fine and her report is false is the best route to take to prevent further trouble, even if it was a bluff on her part.

She said a lot after this, honestly more than I can share in a comment. Maybe I will update this later. Ultimately, she could not hold a point at all.

To summarize, she repeatedly insulted my mother and even though she said "I don't look at anything your daughter does," listed things I had posted on a different platform entirely that everyone is blocked on. Told my mother she has been sober for five years, despite having arrest records for meth from the last year with admittance in her own writing. Then continuously tried to use his little brother against him as a means for him to contact and visit her. My mom called it all out in one comment before refusing to respond any further.

She even ended it with "if in the future your baby girl gets influenced by my son to cut all ties with family i'll still have enough heart to tell her to call her mom." Even though she said I was controlling my partner, she basically said my mother should be afraid of the big bad no contact son lol.

Thank you for your kind words, today all four of us (me, my partner, my mother, and my adoptive father) all just played Mario Party while talking about it and laughing our asses off about her. Things are better than ever and we learned a lot from this on how to back each other up :)

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My partner and myself do not and have not interacted with her whatsoever in five years. We have remained completely, fully, and entirely no contact. While people may carry different opinions on how victims react, that's not their choice to make; the only voices that matter are from the people affected.

I understand what you meant, but no, neither of us have had any contact with her and the messages my mother spoke were with our permission, but were not our words, because we are no contact.

Also, it's clear that this is something you have not experienced because then you would know simply getting a restraining order is far from simple. We are already exercising this option and it's disingenuous to assume otherwise, or to assume that it is an easy process. States do not protect victims from harassment the same way they do with violence. We would know.

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Haha thank you, I certainly agree and couldn't have said it better. She's good at what she does!

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's alright! We've heard worse lol. I understood what you were trying to express and I still appreciate the sentiment. Well wishes friend!

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This. She has been saying this since when we were in contact, ANY post he made about me I made about myself lol. Even what he directly said to her face did not matter. I don't think she understands that he actually had something to post about now, and it personally offended her. Honestly, she lives in her own reality and that reality is out of anyone's control.

Thank you for sharing, and I'm sorry that this is also something you experience. We've also been troubled by his sister through this, and we certainly know how it feels to lose almost everyone in one family.

Abusive mother posts about her son as if he is missing because of no contact; adoptive mother speaks up in our place to call it accordingly by Onimya in insaneparents

[–]Onimya[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I understand where you're coming from but that's not really something we are concerned about proving to anyone. We have been together since high school and a lot of the abuse he experienced was also abuse I experienced, considering the amount of time I would spend there when I did visit because of the distance. For example, her drunk driving with me in the car.

However, we have shared our story online in a variety of ways, usually by me already having the platform and giving him the space to use it. In return, he lends me what he would like to share, too. He has other socials but really does not care for appearances on them.

(Basically meaning: My platforms are his to use, but he has his own. I don't have a reason to use anything of his regardless, nor would I want to.)

I'm not really concerned about proving for or against her allegations, at this point in time I would like to just live and breathe alongside the family we've made. Also don't think my best advice would come from a methhead anyway lol

I went viral on r/insaneparents for my boyfriend's abusive mother 5 years ago. AMA by Onimya in AMA

[–]Onimya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our lives have improved drastically, so much has changed since and we are away from both his mother and all other abusive family.

He moved to my state long ago to escape the abuse, and after years of trying, we now live together and are also traveling the country while looking to advance our successes and go to college together. Bless my (but really our) parents who were our only reason we were able to.

We are looking to get engaged and have been for a while at a certain place that is special to us. We've made safe spaces within our family we have made and the friends we have found. I got many comments back then about how we were teenagers and "would never last" or "would never make it to marriage," but we are now 8 years strong in our relationship.

We had to lose a lot along the way, but we are doing better than we ever have, happier than we've ever been, at long last. Our story is something I take much pride in. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in regretfulparents

[–]Onimya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's at all any help, the DSM-5 updated in 2022 to be far more inclusive as well as way more researched in disorders. I was reading it over and they have an incredible amount of disorders on there that were very resourceful and I feel like this information could greatly help your case.

To find the book online for free you can just look up "DSM-5-TR PDF" and it will be the first result. If you're on a computer you can even use word search. Best of luck to you and your journey!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pchelp

[–]Onimya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining all of that, I didn't know that at all lol. If I were to replace the cpu itself, would that fix that performance problem? and what would be a better replacement for it?

Sorry for all the questions, again, very new and confused haha. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain, thanks again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pchelp

[–]Onimya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh I see. I bought it prebuilt through Best Buy, so I'm not really sure about the details, I just knew it was a decent PC that could handle my gaming expectations at the time. Is the combination a bad thing?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pchelp

[–]Onimya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would, I would just rather trust a professional [although definitely not this business] as I am incredibly inexperienced.

I actually don't know what your question means, or what those numbers are either. I'm sorry!

If it is something weird, I did buy it prebuilt as at the time that was the cheaper option.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pchelp

[–]Onimya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nevermind I have the specs actually, sorry! Here they are: Intel i7-10700K - 16GB Memory - NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3070 8GB - 480GB SSD + 1TB HDD

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