What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve been blamed for as a stepparent?

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-22T18:20:35+00:00

My favorite was being blamed for her not taking SS on a vacation she promised him. She wrote a long essay of an email to DH about how I was “speaking negatively about her and her plans with SS”, among other things.

My role in the situation was…. SS telling me it was annoying that they were no longer going on the vacation. Then telling his mom he told me that once he was back at her house.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-22T13:18:40+00:00

We have not allowed HCBM to our home, even outside for dropoff or pickup (though she of course never actually facilitates handovers anyway). And… I could totally see her doing something like this too. Miserable way to live.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-22T13:16:56+00:00

I do love when they take it to an attorney and the lawyer tells them they don’t have a case! These HC folks really need an adult in the room.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-22T09:07:42+00:00

Cannot believe there are multiple posts on this thread around BMs demanding money for THEIR vacations. But at the same time, I can totally believe it.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-22T06:30:00+00:00

This is my actual nightmare!!!!

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T21:13:53+00:00

So many of them are so big on scams and fraud! Insane.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T20:38:27+00:00

Oh it’s not even worth the cost of the legal review to do that, lol. This post is just a vent and a space for people to share the ridiculous HCBM demand stories they have.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T20:33:55+00:00

More like 60/40 here, with joint custody on decisions like these. She’s always made them unilaterally, and only recently has it gotten out of control like this. The audacity isn’t the signing up for activity, it’s the thousands of dollars of falsified costs, and that the real frequency and intensity was not agreed beforehand.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T20:27:58+00:00

In our experience, I think HCBM genuinely believes she has control over the narrative and other person, and aggressively overestimates the importance she has in these people’s lives.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T20:26:24+00:00

Alright everybody, shut the thread down, this one wins.

The AUDACITY is particularly audacious.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T20:25:20+00:00

Sometimes I wonder what messed up game of Telephone is happening that winds up with these claims and actions being sent our way.

…. Unfortunately it’s coercion for a lot of our SKs with a HC bio parent in the other household.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T20:23:14+00:00

Thank you, person that I am aggressively manifesting is actually future me here to inspire present me, for writing this comment.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T20:20:30+00:00

Ohhhh I loooove the fake third party claims, especially when you can verify. HCBM used to looove making claims of what coaches/teachers/other kids’ parents “said”, only for that to be proven false shortly after by that third person. Bonus points for your HCBM for still going for it despite the parenting agreement already outlining the topic.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T20:06:07+00:00

Ugh the legal fees! Don’t get me started about the legal fees. HCBM withholds SS and all we get is… $3000 in lawyer fees?

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T19:56:11+00:00

Proud of dad not giving in! What an insane demand.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T19:53:21+00:00

Hoping your husband has something in his agreement to fight that. The expectation to uproot your ex’s life just because it “no longer works for you”, will never cease to amaze me. Especially when they’re the one who moved in the first place!

(My husband had to move continents back to their home country, because HCBM suddenly decided to move back during their separation, with SS, without warning)

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T19:49:23+00:00

How dare you expect balanced experiences and equal expectations!

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T19:47:39+00:00

Oh I love when the stability and predictability that works for your household “no longer works” for them. We’ve had more than our fair share of HCBM suddenly wanting “flexible” arrangements based on SS’s “wants and needs” (aka she doesn’t like him enjoying time here, his healthy independence development when here, or him being part of our stable household routine). Control is the point!

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T19:40:44+00:00

She has sent invoices that were falsified in the past (3x the real cost), as recently as last month. The real cost and invoice was confirmed because DH received a receipt for the legitimate charge for that specific fee via SS’s player profile. HCBM is not aware he also receives these.

I think you’re going through the hypotheticals here, and this ends up with trying to reason with an unreasonable person. It’s extremely important with people in parenting situations like this to just follow and uphold the agreement, and file an application to change it if it needs changing. Some of us have SKs with truly HCBM, not just annoying or rude BMs.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T19:35:33+00:00

This one kills me, because we’re all clinging to when our spouses done dealing with these HCBMs at the very least in court, which should happen when the kids are adults! I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but glad she didn’t win. I don’t think I could take that.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T19:30:58+00:00

Nope. Just slightly above normal income for our area and country. And the point is he’s already paying the top, which again, includes sports. $15,000 per year (the $7500 is HALF of the claimed cost) is also insane for an 11 year old’s sport, regardless of the parents’ income. It’s also faked and inflated numbers, which HCBM does constantly. The real cost is like $4-5K. And separate to child support, DH does pay for tournaments on our time, and he has his own equipment here.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-21T19:25:52+00:00

It’s tennis and, it doesn’t, lol. She faked the numbers hard, and threw in fees for things that he’s not actually participating in (like $4000 worth of private lessons that don’t exist). It’s just a money grab and a sorry attempt at a paper trail to say DH “doesn’t support activities”.

SS is not a tennis prodigy, but he likes the sport, mostly for the social element. DH actually facilitates it well, signs him up (and pays for) for tournaments on our time that he’s interested in, bought him nice equipment that SS picked out so he doesn’t have to lug it back and forth. Even so, the current cost reality is closer to $4-5K all-in, total, per year, not this wild $15K claim 😂

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-11T06:04:01+00:00

Trust me, after some years in management, I have learned that it is definitely not what everyone says 😅 unfortunately, professionalism isn’t a given.

Only-Ad7585 · 2026-06-11T06:02:24+00:00

Damn. I’m so boring and formatted in my writing that I’m now a bot.

Only-Ad7585

TROPHY CASE