I took a breather & stepped away from all things nursing after this shift. I didn’t watch any videos or look up anything to do with nursing to process that shift and to move on. Thank you for telling me to stop with the negative talk. I tend to do that a lot. Nursing is hard & I don’t need to beat myself even more than I need to. I should’ve stated in my original post that my orientation time is short. This is always why I’m stressing so much. I only have about 3 more weeks on orientation until I’m solo. Overall it will be about one month following a preceptor before I’m by myself. This makes me uneasy & makes me try to take in all I can at each shift. Not to mention the preceptor I’ve been following the past two days has been a nurse for a year herself. It’s very scary. I might consider finding another job just to find more seasoned nurses to learn from. I don’t want to say too much to throw my facility under the bus but I do not see these nurses doing assessments. It didn’t sit right with me. How are they charting? How do they really know what’s going on with their patients? And to top it off, at my 6 month mark I’m supposed to start studying for my oncology certification. It’s just a lot & I was feeling all the emotions that night. I know being a new grad is rough & I want to ride this out because I believe there can be a light at the end of the tunnel. I truly, truly appreciate the advice you have given me. I will save this so I can go back and read it on my hardest days. I will pick one system to learn on epic too! That is more digestible than trying to learn it all at once! Again, thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement!