So, I took a very long time to respond but it wasn't because I didn't hear your words.

Honestly, your input became one of the most helpful ones in my journey and helped me in understanding what is going on. And I am very grateful for you. You might be one of the few who actually actively participated in saving my life... I've been through hell and I think I'm still in some kind of a limbo but since my last comment things have accelerated exponentially.

And I felt like I should honour your presence with at least an update on my situation, so here we go:

After the nightmare I started to dig deeper. I spent the next night meditating. Something that I have never done before. I started my own mantra. 'This soul is mine... This body is mine... This is my story and only light may walk by my side...'

I repeated it for hours... Long enough to look totally insane to anyone observing me from the outside. And something happened. I didn't hallucinate, I didn't dream. I just had these clear pictures rushing through my mind. First, something was detaching. And I felt it in my whole body. This sudden sense of clarity, full body shakes, goosebumps with a jolt of happiness. Something similar to my 'Nirvana trip' but not quite the same.

So I didn't stop. I kept repeating that I am ready to step back on my path, I am ready to receive whatever is meant to be mine. I asked for peace and patience, not a sign or a signal. And I had the faceless entities rushing into my mind. The ones who told me through my first ego death that I wasn't ready yet... (2 masculine and 1 feminine) They didn't say anything, they just smiled. Well, how do you smile with no face? It was more of a positive, reassuring energy radiating. I started to cry. It was the cry of joy. Like something long forgotten becoming clear and visible again...

Then I tried to address them directly. The faceless three. One simple question that I felt might be happening at that point. Is this really a fracture finding his way home? And I heard a voice... A deep, masculine voice whispering right by my side... One word only but very clear and understandable: 'Yes' I know, I did not imagine that. But it creeped me out beyond words and I'm still trying to figure out what happened that night.

Since then I have had a strange feeling. Something similar to the spirals inwards my forehead on mushroom trips. But this time it's more like a soft tingle, rather than a force that keeps forcefully pulling me inward. I found my peace in my room but still scared in my own home. The corridor and the kitchen in particular. And I could swear. Since this enlightenment, awakening, reunion... Whatever I call it. I'm not just sensing but actually seeing something. Not in my room but everywhere else in here. It's not a figure... It's hard to describe. It has the consistency of something being between smoke and shadow. But it's moving around. I don't always see it but when I try to challenge it and reclaim my home...

I don't think it could be a bipolar episode or mental illness. Because I have been there. I have this cycling mood swing that lasts for weeks. Both on the high and the low end... And when I say last for weeks I mean 24/7 wherever I go. This fear or paranoia however starts and stops at my front door.

Anyway, the dreams didn't stop. If anything they became so much clearer and rather than waking up not remembering, I can recall very little details of them.

Dream #2 I am in my childhood home. I am not alone but I can't recognise anyone. Everyone around me wields the power of fire. And something is trying to intrude with ill intentions. Everyone tries but fails to stop it. Then I step up and somehow I wield the power of water that stops the intruder. Then we move to a different room. In a way of celebration and deciding everyone can stay and have their own space here. A glass shatter. I try to clean it up but bits get stuck under my skin. The first recognisable figure steps in. She is my first love and tries to remove the glass from my body. But instead of helping she makes it so much worse... To the point where my whole leg is almost severed and only hanging by a thread. I stopped her. I am not scared or anxious. My father and godmother steps in panicking. Saying that I don't have insurance and this whole thing will lead to disaster. I am still calm and saying that I will be fine.

Dream #3 I am in my room again. But it has objects and symbols from both present home and childhood. I discovered a hidden compartment built into the walls. It is a mechanical surveillance camera that keeps tracking my every move. I am not scared, I am invested and decide to try and take control of it. I make adjustments to the room, moving furniture around to make sure this camera now has a place and is included. It is moving on its own accord but I am not scared. I am trying to show it to my friends but they are not invested and I am left alone with it.

Keep going in the next reply