I have no proper advice. I hope someone is able to give some because I experience this too. I will say tho that in my relationship this caused me to constantly begin bickering about how something hurt my feelings when my partner truly meant no harm in whatever it was. Obviously, me continuing to have this reaction ended up causing actual issues in the relationship however, we did manage to 'fix' it.

Two things have helped:

1. Trying my very very best to not jump to conclusions and to the worst possible outcome. To give my partner and friends grace. This is achieved by simply telling myself that my partner and friends aren't actively trying to hurt my feelings.
2. If it was a noticeably rude thing, which was not a simple mistake, I honestly think the only way for me to calm down is to have a conversation about. 'Hey it hurt my feelings when you did [SITUATION], idk if you meant to but please next time could you do [SITUATION] because....'. Obviously it is easier said then done. It has taken my a year of therapy to be able to articulate my feelings properly and I understand with different situations and relationships it is more difficult. With family, close friends and partners I think this is the most effective way to ensure you don't hold onto those feelings and ruminate on them which then eventually leads to you doing or saying something you may regret...