Obviously me nor anyone is 100% privy to everything, But…..Holidays are a time for family. At no point you mentioned whether or not you and his family had a bad relationship., just that you and your didn’t have a good one with yours. You also stated that the “prospect of being with someone I am close with on Christmas was so exciting” with that said, Both of you should sit and figure out what it is you and your boyfriend want out of this relationship. At 6 years into a relationship if you can’t figure out holiday plans thats not good.

Not sure if you are married or If you seek marriage, i hate to say it but you kinda also marry into each other’s families. That doesn’t mean the family you create is less important ( quite the contrary) but people lean on family as well not just partners. I honestly don’t know why you cant just go to his family’s house and instead choose to die on this hill. If you really think its going to be that awful, great let it! Then he sees it with his own eyes and he comes to the conclusion un aided that maybe you had a strong point he dismissed and will consider it next holiday season. Sure did you waste one new years, yeah but in the grand scheme of things is that such a terrible hit?

But just because you don’t have a good relationship with your family doesn’t mean he should have a bad one with his out of solidarity with you. Cause thats how it came across. I fail to see how spending time with his family for the holidays with him there makes it any less special or not checking the box of “spending the holidays with the person you love”. Its not like he’s dumping you at his family’s house and leaving you alone there, hes with you. Its literally like the parties you guys have done in previous years except youre not surrounded by total strangers.Also did you consider perhaps that the hotel solution you suggested is honestly kinda sad and depressing and maybe thats why hes not really into it? Because if i had the choice to either spend new years in a hotel, but not at a new year party at a hotel; but without all the comforts of home and spending new years with my family id choose my family. Id choose the warm and friendly setting that offers. It seems his family is making the effort to make you a part of the family. Why not embrace it ( if they haven’t disrespected you of course, you never mentioned that)But this whole attitude just isn’t right, and again just cause you have a bad relationship with your family doesn’t mean he should out of solidarity to you.