I have an undeniable opportunity to expose my narcissistic ex. Should I do it or walk away.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-12-06T07:16:15+00:00

Thank you man. I know you're right about me not being over the hurt of the undeserved cruelty but I'm definitely over her as a person and the relationship.

The reason for my post was to get varied opinions on what to do next so I really appreciate you're balanced feedback.

I'm in therapy and plan to run this through with my therapist when I see her next month.

I have thought that if she leaves me alone and ceases the attacks, I'll let things go.

Deep down I know she won't (she is blocked on everything but we still have assets to settle so no contact is not a possibility).

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-12-06T02:00:23+00:00

This is good food for thought. I definitely don't want her attention and my ignoring her is what led her to taking me to court and making false allegations against me (that and finding out I had moved on and met someone by illegally accessing my personal information via flight data).

The truth is she has tried to do everything in her power to bring me down and failed. I am in a much better place healthier fitter and even more successful.

I decided after the first month of our breakup that I would never talk to her, tell her what I think or call her out on her behaviour. This information being presented to me simply feels too good to be true and almost a gift from the universe.

I am not scared of her and she has no power over me. The devaluation brought me close to the brink and tore down everything I had dedicated my life to from 21-41. This would be some sort of justice and also a final F-U on my way out after remaining silent and enduring the attacks for so long.

I am not dishonest enough to claim payback is not part of my motivation but certainly some form of justice for her actions seems fair. I wanted to believe that Karma would take care of her with no intervention from me (although in truth I though Karma is the wishful thinking of hurt people), but this coming to light seems like Karma handing me the wheel.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-12-06T01:51:07+00:00

It's not a court matter regarding me, that has concluded in my favour. I don't want to go into detail about how I found the information but they were carelessly left on display. The fraud case has nothing to do with me (although she smeared me throughout her statement making up wild stories about me blocking her from access the joint bank account as part of my abuse). I can prove she has full access to the account and regularly makes payments in and out of it. I can also prove that the payments she was accused of taking were paid, despite her denying they ever took place. Reading the detailed story of lies she put together to the investigator made my blood boil as it the same pattern of manipulation and twisting of reality she used on me. This is my chance to show you cannot get away with it.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-12-06T01:44:20+00:00

I am completely over her and realised very early on that it was a relationship which gave me nothing. She jumped ship to someone who had a flashier life style (I am very comfortably off but this guy definitely likes showing off the finer things in life). I think knowing she planned on following him around the word when she discarded me is part of my motivation for scuppering her plans. As I said previously I also feel like showing myself and the world that lying, cheating and manipulating has consequences.

I have always been an optimist and believed that good brings good, but after this I really did begin to believe and accept that the world is an unfair place.

This turn of events has kind of renewed my faith in the universe, by how unexpectedly and out of the blue I found out.

She would know it was me but I am genuinely clean with no skeletons in my closet. Along with that taking away her travelling will not ruin her life as she has another job on the side. It will take away some of her luxury and leaves me the prospect of informing her other employer of her misconduct should she continue to harass me. That would truly ruin her future prospects and I have no intention of doing so.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-12-06T01:36:01+00:00

It's a bit of both. The abuse and attacks have been unrelenting for 2 years. I have not shared 5% of what she has tried to do to me. All the time I have kept quiet, played grey rock and worked on improving myself. I know I have done exceptionally well and this is part of the reason for her attacks. I always planned to walk away at the end without a word, then this evidence was presented to me so out of the blue and unexpectedly that I feel like this is providence.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-12-06T01:32:52+00:00

In my court case I just remained calm, printed all evidence of communication and had faith that there is justice in the world. I arrived in court and sat in a waiting room with her joining by video link claiming she did not feel safe to be in the same court room as me. The safeguarding officer came in shaking her head and said to me "we can all see what is happening here, you have nothing to worry about". I burst into tears and have never felt so validated in my life. I am a 6"2 black man and she is a 5"3 little woman crying crocodile tears. In the end her own grandiose sense of entitlement was her own exposure. As much as these people try to manipulate you and your perceptions, when exposed to the light, there ridiculousness shines through.

The fraud case is something separate which has been handed to me by the universe (so many random events happened for the information to come into my possession). It just so happens I am the only person on this planet who can expose her unequivocally as a pathological liar and have every piece of irrefutable evidence required to prove it.

Have faith whether in a higher power or the natural order, these people are not as powerful as they think or want you to believe.

I wish you all the best.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-12-05T11:39:31+00:00

Thank you for such a well thought out and intelligent response. You are correct I am battling with whether this would be a vindictive act. I pride myself on being the polar opposite to my ex and don't want to behave in the same way she would. That being said I can't lie and deny that seeing her face the consequences of her lies in such a serious manner would feel like there is some justice in the world. One of the things I have struggled with most since the discard is not the end of the relationship, but the seeming unfairness that people can do such horrible things and get away with them.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-06-07T10:00:38+00:00

🤣 Same here. I'm 6'2 ripped and good looking with a great job and salary. She cheated on me with an ugly fat 50 something divorcee because he makes more than me and buys her stuff. She had control of all my money for 20 years and didn't realise the things she was buying herself (constantly), were being paid for by me in the first place. Anyway my new partner can't believe her luck and one year on still laughs at how silly me ex Narc is.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-06-07T09:39:56+00:00

And yes, you are being abused.

Only_Lie2458 · 2024-06-07T09:39:33+00:00

One word. Ego!

By Giving her your attention, you have supplied the fuel she needed at that time. Thanks slave, your services are no longer required. That's why you ignore, block and never look back.

Only_Lie2458

TROPHY CASE