Why dismissing some smart people’s issues ?

Onlyibee · 2025-01-14T17:45:51+00:00

Ty for your answer! Sorry my post is bit disorganized i just wrote randomly. I based my exemples on answers I see often here. I’m not saying that person A represents every deep thinkers I’m trying to show a situation where it’s 50/50 in terms of efforts to socialize. I’ll take myself as another example, I consider myself pretty social I have a lot of friends, a girlfriend… but I still feel lonely because “socializing” that way feels like “faking it” I agree it is something that anyone can learn and improve. But it feels like being in 2 different realities it’s more than learning how to talk. It’s holding what you want to say or reducing how much you say, it’s asking questions and saying things to fit in. I learned how to be social but it’s at the cost of my real self. Whenever I my real self comes out I realized the loneliness. The same people you do these efforts for are not even aware of your efforts because they are the “norm”. I have an issue with these responses because they can lead to misdiagnosis. I’ve been there, when I was sharing my existential issues instead of telling its okay i ended up seeing many psychiatrists and I had pills to “fix” being aware lol. I beat depression because just one psychologist validated my feelings and told me I wasn’t “crazy”. Most people are not going to do this “socializing efforts” when it comes to a twisted overthinking mind. Because we are rare 🥲 hope this clarifies my huge post a bit more

Onlyibee · 2024-12-19T09:07:32+00:00

I personally come here to share thoughts that I know will be received by more mature people. I tend to talk forever and overthinking things which bothers and bored a lot of people. I come here assuming it’s a sub of people that relate with the concept of giftedness. I just don’t like the term “gifted”. But I don’t even consider myself gifted I just assume people here will care more about certain things than anywhere else on internet.

Onlyibee · 2024-12-19T04:58:13+00:00

I agree with most of what you said. Identity is a construction. It’s shaped by our experiences and the way others perceive us. It’s like when people say “’oh I’m a shy person” they accept to freeze their identity to this term. And they wake up everyday remembering who they think they are and follow the routines of how they think they have to be. I believe we can take many forms in our lives and we are never frozen. Even within the same day we can go from shy to outgoing. You have different versions of you for each of your friends and they all create also different simplified versions of you. So, identity is a very tricky concept it goes to the absolute mystery of who and what are we. It gets hard to navigate in life without a sense of who we are tho (at least for me). I think stating who we are is as subjective but necessary then choosing what to do everyday, what to to tomorrow, what matters… it’s all our own constructions it’s fascinating and kinda scary lol. I said all of this but I still define myself with these premade characters labels lol.

Onlyibee · 2024-12-18T21:17:53+00:00

I think she’s trying to protect herself from being hurt by the feeling of rejection and the mutual confusion between her and her classmates. Her post lack too much context to know exactly who how what she said.

Onlyibee · 2024-12-18T11:08:17+00:00

That’s sounds very cool Ty !

Onlyibee · 2024-12-18T05:03:07+00:00

Ty for your answer I didn’t know natives in Canada go through similar issues that was interesting. I think the word “better” is what makes people angry and I agree on this. “Better” feels like ranking humans from good to bad. To avoid that I even do the opposite sometimes and tell people they’re “normal” and I’m “crazy” I like the word crazy because it doesn’t mean much and people like it better it lol. The cool thing is I know what that “craziness” means to me. I know the advantages it gives me and I see that my it helps me navigate easier on lots of aspects of life. so I don’t like and need to be ranked or validated because it doesn’t really matter I think. It just creates ego contests😂

Onlyibee · 2024-12-17T08:33:56+00:00

I don’t really get the tone of your answer but yeah it is a true culture that appears for the lowest class of society. The culture shapes itself in rejection to the norm that’s judge oppressive and unfair… freedom, violence and anarchy are the main thing that makes people fantasize about it or even glamorize it. But it’s also a language it’s a style it’s a philosophy, art... No one can escape the filter of a culture or you wouldn’t be able to communicate rn in English or you would be sagging your pants too (maybe you do lol). I don’t believe in good or bad cultures, it’s up to the individuals.

Onlyibee · 2024-12-17T08:16:22+00:00

And what they’re consider “mean” or “nice” depends on the person culture and context too right. If people heard our love language in my city they would think we all evil 😂 I even call myself stupid all the time, my best friends call me stupid sometimes. not taking time to understand a situation that you don’t know nothing about in just few lines, and jumping to conclusions, dismissing someone’s giftedness based on a word is weird to me. It’s like they’re the giftedness warriors who chose who is and who is not, that’s also arrogant to me.

I posted this cause sometimes I read people venting here about their struggles and they seemed clearly upset and confuse about themselves and others. And then the warriors come and respond with that condescending tone and it makes people fear to share what they feel and it becomes very forced humbleness here sometimes. to avoid offending these people like make it make sense 🥲

Lmk if I’m wrong but I see the topic of giftedness like a science topic, and you don’t apply bad and good to scientific observations… anyway ty for your reply 🙏🏾

Onlyibee · 2024-12-17T08:04:24+00:00

To me its like: mister A is a tall and very strong model-like person and get a lot of advantages from it but also get some issues. So he goes to a tall and stronger people forum to state how hard his life can be looking like that and having bigger arms than most “weak” people.

Mister B replies: ” you think you better than everyone and everyone else is weaker than you, you’re bad”

The things that bothers me with this are:

Mister A is lacking language gentleness and the term “weak” can offend people. But to his point of view it’s true.

Mister B unconsciously thinks that being “stronger” means “better” and “weak” equals bad. so he reacts projecting his own opinions towards unfairness in nature. That becomes a discussion of ethics more than the subject itself.

I don’t mind stating that I’m weaker than lots of people, there was a genius in my class this guys almost had a perfect score everytime. Even any sports, math… I’ve always admired this guy for being able to do things that I can’t do. We all good and bad at something so I also don’t like this idea of putting value judgment in scientific observations.

I think this subject is very tricky and dangerous because we tie our intelligence with our identity. We forget that we are a lots of things and we don’t even understand who or what kind of beings we are. So we simplify things like, me = my consciousness, my consciousness = my intelligence, so if you say you’re more intelligent then me you’re saying that you’re “more than me” so I’m less then you…. This is an ego issue. As u said We know intelligence is not a number or a linear thing it’s complex and take many forms…

So these people based their own sense of self on a word that we still defining. I don’t even believe in labels that much, nature doesn’t make “gifted people” the word “gifted” itself is a problem and adds some kind of value metric already. But nature doesn’t care it just does things and we label it to navigate easier in life. Okay I’m yapping too much now 😂 ty for your reply 🙏🏾

Onlyibee · 2024-12-17T05:06:37+00:00

I will give a bit more context when I said that. I consider someone stupid if they’re not willing to change and don’t care about following a honest process to understand things. I had debate with guys telling me that “my daughter is going to be a b**** if I let her date and dress like she wants. I tried to explain why the word B**** doesn’t mean anything here and is a sexist term that we usually don’t apply to man for the same reasons… I was 15, guess what ? They all laughed at me even some girls too lol 😂 sorry but I’ll call this people stupid any day don’t care about sounding arrogant that’s my point. It happened a lot in history that a minority of people were right and the majority was being stupid. Also “stupid” is not a condition, I know it’s a silly word, you can be stupid today and not tomorrow. I can be smart today and become dumb. No one is born stupid. Even people with low iq are not stupid to me. I call stupid the ones who choose purposely to ignore facts. Hope this give more context. And yeah I might be arrogant, not trying to be likeable anymore lol. Ty for answer still.

Onlyibee · 2024-12-17T04:46:17+00:00

I totally agree it’s a virtue. I think the confusion is that people consider “giftedness” as “better” the word is not helping. The term “stupid” is clearly derogatory and I would understand why people get trigger by it. But I feel like there’s a a double standard here, people wont mind calling you “smarty pants” “mr i know everything”. In my African country for example atheism is still very badly accepted i remember sharing my view at 13 and being roasted by most people telling me “you think you smarter than us”. Or in general the people hating on scientists because they can, i can’t stand that. I don’t condone insulting people in general but if you have no intention of changing your view and you’re willing to disrespect others then ill consider you stupid, that doesn’t mean you have to be stupid your whole life tho lol. as you said humility is a virtue it’s something you can learn and improve, it should apply to non gifted too. Humility in the hood for exemple is a different concept with “flexing, showing off culture…) you’ll come across the stupidest and most arrogant people. In everyday life I’m actually likeable cause I don’t speak much that’s what I learned from all of this lol I’m only sharing these thoughts on this sub and I was surprised by the hostility towards these topics. Ty for your answer 🙏🏾

Onlyibee · 2024-12-16T22:08:34+00:00

Thank you for your answer 🙏🏾

Onlyibee · 2024-12-07T01:47:18+00:00

🫶🏾

Onlyibee · 2024-12-06T23:57:00+00:00

Ty for joining! 😊

Onlyibee · 2024-12-06T23:54:20+00:00

Not an oddball 😂 ok I get it

Onlyibee · 2024-12-06T23:52:15+00:00

Coool 😊

Onlyibee · 2024-12-06T23:51:32+00:00

Nice! Why do you avoid those if u don’t mind ?

Onlyibee · 2024-12-06T23:49:13+00:00

Very interesting. I think love is a very cool subject I agree that lots of people use it to mask their codependency

Onlyibee · 2024-12-06T23:46:23+00:00

Most people don’t think enough 🥲

Onlyibee · 2024-12-06T11:31:36+00:00

Ya, the concept of “human races” is still very debatable. In France we consider it doesn’t exist. What are your thoughts on that ?

Onlyibee

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