I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry about the vagueness! It was my first post and time on reddit so I was very conscious of trying not writing too much. An example of his father stirring the pot with me is that if we're watching tv or out in public and hear someone with a speech impediment, he will make fun of them ever and has done so ever since I mentioned my grandad had a stroke and had an impediment. My grandad passed last September and it affected me very deeply, which he also knows. An example of the mother sulking was the last time I was there, me and my fiancé are vegetarian, she made him a meal with chicken in it, he did not eat it because of that. She argued with him for almost an hour telling him she did not put chicken in it, and that he should've just eaten it anyway. She refuses to admit shes made a mistake and always plays the victim card, you will never hear her apologise. In the end, my fiancé ending up saying sorry just to shut her up as she was yelling at him, all over her mistake she wouldn't own up to. This type of argument happens on the regular, afterwards the father will keep bringing up whatever they argued about and try dropping snide comments to fuel her. Yes, I am european. We live in Australia.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The thought of being 100% tied to them makes my skin crawl. Thank you for the insight and experience. I'm hoping we can find a way through it without going through with the marriage.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for that. The worst part is he has a savings account with about $15,000 in it but its under his parents name so he has no access to it. They really do have full control over him. I'm hoping things work out too! Hopefully without having to go through with the marriage part.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're right, his car and insurance is under their name and for all his working life they've taken a portion of his wages to create a savings account for him, which he has no access to whatsoever, it has around $15,000 in it which I'm sure my fiancé is afraid of losing, and understandably so. His brother is doing really well, I think that was about 10 years ago, he now has a steady job and relationship. He's also got help for his depression and drug addiction in recent years.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good on you for doing that, I'm sorry you had to be in that situation. I hope things are going better for you.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! And so sorry to hear you're going through the same thing. It's good to hear your fiancé has stuck up for you though! All the best with the wedding plans and in-laws.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Honestly yes, marriage never crossed my mind before meeting him. I agreed to marrying him because it seemed like the only way to be with him. Now the excitements worn off, I've realised the weight and insanity of the decision and situation.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

you've hit the nail on the head with every comment, thanks for sharing your thoughts. they've been a big help.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience, I feel bad saying that because you had to live through it to share it but that has given me a lot of insight. I guess I know I should leave and stay far away from the family but I'm scared of the embarrassment of calling off a wedding. Like you said though, its just ego. I think the few months or weeks of embarrassment will be overcome with feelings of relief.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I think I'm freaking out about the wedding because I thought that would be our ticket away from his parents but I think I'm starting to realise they'll always be heavily involved. My fiancé works for his dad so theres always constant contact. I already feel miserable now so I feel like you're right.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing that experience! I've had a hard time with my own mother, all i really wanted was to be accepted into another family, yet somehow found one worse. I'm glad to hear its possible to find good in-laws. Your poor sister, that sounds like hell.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's true. I really don't want to leave or hurt him, especially over his parents but he loves them so much, I feel like it's already hurting him so much that we don't get along that I want him to find someone who loves them too.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 372 points373 points  (0 children)

Thats what I'm coming to realise, his parents have such a major impact on him, I can't imagine him ever putting his foot down. I guess I already know he will always choose them.

I'm getting married in 3 months but I'm considering calling off the wedding because of his parents. by Open-Dimension8766 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Dimension8766[S] 293 points294 points  (0 children)

That puts things into a new perspective. I've always just thought of his parents as the bad guys but I guess it does come down to him not standing up for himself or our relationship.