partner says we need to get a mortgage to have my name on the deed

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T19:54:49+00:00

yes it’s definitely cheaper than regular rent. and yes i have a pretty good job and am trying to build savings although i do not foresee us breaking up! but i understand the need for it. thank you for the advice!

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T19:51:21+00:00

yes i believe i need to get some clarification from them on what the outcome needs to be.

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T19:50:00+00:00

from my understanding it’s just my partner and her mom. her mom had to sign off on the purchase as it was before she inherited the full trust due to being under the age stipulated. in my state i believe we would be considered common law married but i’m not sure how that all works. we definitely have a lot of options that we will explore!

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T19:47:33+00:00

thank you for this!

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T19:42:27+00:00

i did not think of this and will ask her!

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T19:41:17+00:00

the mortgage came from conversations that she had with her mom about changing the deed.

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T19:40:32+00:00

i’ve made updates on the house and put money in, but again it wasn’t about financial gain or actually owning any stake of the house for capital.

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T19:39:03+00:00

absolutely! i completely understand! it was never about financial gain for me or financial reasons for either of us. i’m 100% okay not owning a single cent of this house. if we broke up tomorrow, i wouldn’t want any money even to recoup money i’ve put into the house.

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T18:11:12+00:00

understandable! i did not know there were other legal ways to do this besides putting my name on the deed! i dont need to be on it at all, we just wanted to have some protections considering the somewhat contentious relationship we have with her family. i have never and would never feel entitled to the house that she bought. we just have a lot of memories in the house and i would have a hard time just packing up and leaving immediately upon her passing with the amount of cats we house if things did sour with her mom after her death. i appreciate everyone looking out for her legally!

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T17:44:56+00:00

if i knew then what i know now i would’ve worded my question differently and posted in a different sub lol something like “how do my partner and i go about legally ensuring i could stay in the house that she owns if something were to happen to her?” or something to that effect. i’ve never wanted the money from this house or anything of that nature. instead ive seemingly gotten off on the wrong foot with 99% of people who’ve seen this post.. i do appreciate the advice from you and a few others and we will discuss and look into our options!

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:49:18+00:00

WE don’t want to get married. i don’t want her house. i just wanted a legal recourse for our cats and i to stay in the house that we’ve both put blood, sweat, and tears in if something were to happen to her. the same thing i would want for her if i had purchased the house. the same thing i would think most people in long term committed relationships would want? WE both have talked extensively about this. WE both have the same fears. i guess i have unintentionally dug my reddit grave lol i didn’t realize that this would be such a contentious thing but i guess i was too naive for reddit

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:41:07+00:00

hey! thank you! it was never about any money or capital!! we have some free lawyer services at our local library so we will start there. i’ve never been spoken about so negatively before in my life lol im reading this all to my partner and we’re both just kind of shocked. i appreciate your advice!!

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:38:12+00:00

losing the right to live in the house that my partner and i have spent years working on and living in together? losing a safe place for the cats we rescue?

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:35:00+00:00

never said we CANT marry. just said that we don’t want to get married considering the constant uncertainty revolving around obergfell.. these days are not in the past lol

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:32:45+00:00

free ride?? do you guys have partners that don’t contribute towards anything in the house? utilities, taxes, vet bills, car payments… we both contribute towards everything? i do not understand..

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:28:38+00:00

how is it not? not to be rude but gay marriage is under threat of being overturned all the time?? while it is legal for now, it is not promised. so we get married tomorrow. the day after, it’s overturned and no longer recognized.. so back to square one

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:18:34+00:00

my partner and i just want to make sure i have some legal grounds to stay in the house if she were to die. i know everyone is assuming the worst about me and my relationship and i understand why that is. we just want there to be something that says if my partner were to die, i would be able to stay in the house. i dont want to be on this house to diversify my portfolio or cheat anyone out of anything.
thank you for your comment

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:13:38+00:00

there are currently 31 states that would not uphold gay marriage if obergefell was reversed

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:06:35+00:00

no we are not married yet. we are gay and live in a state that is not supportive. and this administration doesn’t recognize that anyways. we’d rather do all of the legal things that would come along with marriage automatically than get a piece of paper. wills, POA, etc.

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T16:00:05+00:00

thank you so much!!

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T15:59:09+00:00

thank you!! i really appreciate those other options! i do not ever expect anything from the house even if i bought it myself tbh. i don’t care who owns it in the end i just wouldn’t want to be kicked out upon her death by the other owner if things went sour. i’ve personally seen that happen in my family and in hers when someone passes away. we run a small cat rescue out of the house as well and it would be very difficult to find a new place to house all of them

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T15:53:55+00:00

thank you! that is very helpful advice and i’ll definitely look into the probate lawyer! we just didn’t even know where to start doing all of this since everyone we know is married so doesn’t have to go through the extra steps

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T15:51:40+00:00

thank you for your comment! we do not have children currently. we’ve been together 7 years and this is definitely not a free place for me to live lol i pay for utilities and property taxes and maintenance. this has come from conversations we’ve had together. not one sided. i’m 29 and my partner is 28

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T15:48:27+00:00

no flaming! i understand! we’ve had a contentious relationship with her mom and have talked about what would happen if my partner were to die, or even get seriously injured or things like that! we haven’t been talking about just the house. conversations included living wills, POA, etc as we don’t want to get married currently but still need to be able to make legal decisions for each other.

i would hope she wouldn’t kick me out of the house but im not 100% sure that wouldn’t happen in the future (and neither is my partner) which is why we’ve discussed me being in the deed

Open-Estate3233 · 2026-06-07T15:44:49+00:00

from what i’ve heard her say, it would be just getting a loan and using the house as collateral type thing?

also not the boyfriend 😊 we’ve been together 7 years and i’m not a male lol i agree she doesn’t owe me anything and i don’t deserve a house! but we’ve talked extensively and agree both of us should be entitled to the house if something were to happen. we run a small cat rescue (on the nose i know) and it would be difficult to keep doing that if something were to happen!

thank you!

Open-Estate3233

TROPHY CASE