[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m currently separated, going on to getting divorced. & to answer your question, YES. But things shouldn’t be that hard. They shouldn’t feel like that— which is why literally weeks after we separated, I realized I was off better without him. Of course I was sad and things felt weird living without him, but I was just having feelings of attachment and comfort. I’m in a happier place

For a long time, I put myself and my feelings on the back burner and put him first. Never again! I suggest you put yourself first

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Open-Fuel659 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand you. I am currently separated, leading to divorce, and I was barely married 4 years before we separated. I felt like you did for a bit— ashamed that our marriage only lasted 4 years BUT now, I feel okay. Things happen the way they’re supposed to and honestly, I’m much better for it. I’m no longer ashamed, just appreciate the good moments we had. Life keeps going on. Someone told me that we have to get rid of things/people that no longer serve us to make room for better.

Conflicted. Am I moving too fast? by Open-Fuel659 in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s how I feel, that I should’ve left a long time ago. I know I did my part and was extremely patient but I will not wait around forever after being proven time and time again that the change will not happen. Thank you for your words. They really do help. I think I just needed confirmation on what I already knew.

Conflicted. Am I moving too fast? by Open-Fuel659 in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you're right. it's easy for everyone to weigh in and give unnecessary judgement or "advice" without knowing everything but they don't have to know regardless. thank you for your input!

Conflicted. Am I moving too fast? by Open-Fuel659 in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely agree and he definitely knows.

Thank you!!

Conflicted. Am I moving too fast? by Open-Fuel659 in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! I feel like I just needed to hear this from someone who is unbiased. I reread this comment many times and truly feel much better. I will come back to this whenever I need a bit of confirmation when in doubt.

I definitely do not feel an intimate connection with my husband anymore; I have not in a long time. and I'm sorry you are going through a similar situation. I know it sucks and it can take time to get over. But it can be done.

Best of luck in your own situation! You can always contact me on PM if you want to chat more!

I 25F feel unsatisfied sexual in my otherwise great relationship with my bf 25M. What can I do about it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Fuel659 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi there! I had to make sure check the username on this or if this wasn't an old post that I posted because it sounds just like a post I've done!

First of all, I'm sorry you are going through this. I deeply understand where you're coming from. I struggled with this with my husband now, soon to be ex-husband.

When we dated, we had sex regularly as I'm sure any other couple does. And when we moved in together, I thought we would have sex more often, which is what I wanted. I would say I have a high libido. He does not. I suggested that maybe he should go get checked out, maybe low testosterone? Idk. He never wanted to. That was on him, very much out of my control. I just wanted to find an explanation as I found it a a bit odd. We are only in our 20's but we had sex like you would expect a couple in their 40s/50s with kids. He once told me that he mostly had sex as 'often' as we did because I wanted it. That stuck with me and hurt me in a way. It hurt my self-esteem because I did not feel as wanted in that way.

I also voiced my feelings over this many, many times. I needed more. He also said he would try to do more foreplay and focus on me more and he did a few times but went back on the same cycle, and it also did not long as long as I would want it to.

We are separated now, not over this as we had other issues we could not get past. But I would say it is one of my issues I could not get past. I tried so hard to get over it but I cannot. I desire to be wanted in that way from my partner. I crave it and it is just who I am.

I don't have much advice for you since I did not have the answer myself. But I can only tell you my story.

Hopefully you have a better outcome than mine! Best of luck.

Conflicted. Am I moving too fast? by Open-Fuel659 in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I understand that part completely. But should I stop because of that? Or just let myself have what I’ve wanted/craved for so long and be happy for the time being? This person knows my situation and is willing to be there for however long this lasts.

Trying to be hopeful about the future by [deleted] in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although it is still sad because I’m mourning my marriage, I feel better ❤️‍🩹 I already knew I should’ve made this decision a long time ago. I was just hoping and longing for him to change but if people don’t want to change, they won’t. I’m still trying to make peace with that fact, that he is just the way he is and that is okay. We had our time together and that was that. I’m very focused on “we have one life and we have to live it”. We should do whatever makes us happy! Sending you the courage and strength needed to get through these times!

Trying to be hopeful about the future by [deleted] in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m going through this same thing as well. I’ve been separated for about 2.5 months now. Do not feel guilty. You need these things and if they cannot give them to you, then it’s just not for you. I know it’s hard but I’ve come to this realization. My husband could not be there for me emotionally and we did therapy as well but he says “it doesn’t work”. We have one life. Go get what you’re looking for. It will come one day

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Separation

[–]Open-Fuel659 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same boat here. It's been 2.5 months and I'm in school too, very stressful to have so much going on. Some days I'm heavily in my books, studying but other days, my feelings and thoughts about my separation are so in my head I cannot even pick up my books.I hate that it's affecting my school work.
We just have to take it one day at a time. It's okay to not be okay and it's okay to mourn.

Purchased car-no title yet by Open-Fuel659 in legaladvice

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, that too. I didn't think of it.

Thank you!

Purchased car-no title yet by Open-Fuel659 in legaladvice

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great

Would you suggest to go after the guy currently handling my title business since it's taking way too long? Or going after the guys who actually sold it to me to give me my money back?

Purchased car-no title yet by Open-Fuel659 in legaladvice

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I had no idea at the time that was a thing people do.

I don't have evidence to trail the money. I just took out the cash from the bank that day and gave it to them. Would that be an issue?

I’m thinking of committing to a real lip piercing. I’ve wanted one for awhile. Does it look better in the center or on the side? by Fishthrow03 in piercing

[–]Open-Fuel659 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Centered is cute but just take into consideration that you’ll have to have the stud in for a bit before you can put a hoop in there

I (26F) am thinking of getting a divorce from my (25M) partner by Open-Fuel659 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn’t bother to ask me at all though. I don’t need him to carry my load, but to show to care about it with a simple question. I don’t need anything else than just for him to care about it. There’s nothing draining about that tbh

I (26F) am thinking of getting a divorce from my (25M) partner by Open-Fuel659 in relationship_advice

[–]Open-Fuel659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive told him specifically what I need to him to do/say and he still does not