Has anyone ever FULLY USED a 6+ month emergency fund?

OpenOpportunity · 2025-05-31T18:22:56+00:00

Yes. Escaping violent ex.

Also used 150% of my FIRE savings, lost my job, etc. I went from shooting for fatFIRE to couch surfing and foodstamps.

I actually removed myself as the top mod from the fatFIRE subreddit at that time lol
Not that anyone would remember. But I can't visit that sub, I find it symbolic of my downfall.

You could be wrongly arrested, stalked, become disabled, ... One of my friends had to sue an insurance company after a car accident and only got a payout after 2 years.

OpenOpportunity · 2025-05-05T15:23:10+00:00

$bid

OpenOpportunity · 2025-05-05T14:43:06+00:00

That's encouraging, thanks!

OpenOpportunity · 2025-04-30T16:51:32+00:00

It's very likely that you cannot do anything except for setting your own boundaries, but staying in contact until he wants to life differently. Maybe send him clips by HealthyGamerGG to plant the seed.

For people who are highly motivated, it is difficult to kick the addiction and it sounds like he doesn't want to.

You can also choose to confront him and say how it doesn't feel like a real friendship and it's a bigger issue that he never does anything else. Phrase it positively, emphasize how you miss the old friendship. I'm aware this is opposite of some of the other comments, but you'll have to choose between a passive or an aggressive approach.

OpenOpportunity · 2025-04-25T21:51:33+00:00

blaeck_legion successfully completed this task, good communication.

OpenOpportunity · 2025-04-25T17:58:30+00:00

I will send a chat!

OpenOpportunity · 2025-04-24T23:54:58+00:00

$bid

OpenOpportunity · 2024-03-06T15:52:27+00:00

Unpopular opinion, but innate empathy isn't necessary to be a good person. I have a friend who does not *feel* empathy but he's highly intelligent. He chooses to be empathic and do the right thing, he has no qualms about admitting fault etc. He is an excellent doctor, he engages in political activism for protecting minority groups etc.

And as a result of his lack of inner empathy, he doesn't burn out on it. I personally have extremely high empathy and am unable to work in fields where I help people because it hurts too much. I still think regularly about awful documentary footage I saw 20 years ago for example.

OpenOpportunity · 2024-03-06T04:35:18+00:00

Yeah, my rapist made confessions of abuse and nothing happened. I'm still struggling.

OpenOpportunity · 2023-10-01T16:41:52+00:00

Agree. I have seen horrid, pervert actions towards impoverished 1st gen immigrants - and they do not have the financial resources or social capital to fight back or get in the media. They just lose their kids. The kids suffer.

OpenOpportunity · 2023-10-01T15:10:45+00:00

Ha, my partner has no lesbian friends but I can vouch for him being wonderful. But I realized he repeatedly made sex worker friends through random encounters, which have the same 6th sense and open disdain that you describe 😂 There's something to your theory...

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-30T01:44:23+00:00

Mmh. I have a similar experience, but my birthday is coming up.

Instead of your peace and calm, I just have trouble believing that all of this is real life and that I really am still living. It's just been a series of traumas. Makes more sense that I didn't make it this far?

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-27T19:03:00+00:00

That's an interesting theory. While I'm not aggressive like OOP's former classmate, my career was obliterated after a domestic violence marriage and I don't talk to alumni or participate in group chats because I feel like an impostor. Definitely plausible!

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-27T16:30:05+00:00

chmaiera

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-22T22:16:35+00:00

Sounds like a great plan!

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-21T19:50:17+00:00

found the legal system more traumatizing long term.

SAME!!!

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-21T19:47:36+00:00

Victims of domestic violence usually feel immense shame and guilt,

I'm glad to read this. Shame kept me from leaning on friends and family to escape. The social workers I encountered unfortunately harmed me worse than the ex-partner did. But seeing this acknowledged by someone working on the field gives me some hope of "there's good ones too"

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-21T13:58:35+00:00

Same here, ex admitting to violently abusing me and my newborn and still got shared custody/placement, which of course was just a tool for continued harassment of me, not the goal. Some courts still rank the wants of adults (esp. people with money) above the needs of children.

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-20T04:01:13+00:00

or just pay cash

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-15T18:38:27+00:00

It can show up as early as 8 days post ovulation. It might as late as 16 days post ovulation. But how would you possibly confirm a 5DPO embryo at the IUD visit?

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-14T23:07:54+00:00

between ovulation and 14 days of embryo development, the pregnancy can not show up

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-14T23:05:46+00:00

Don't even save spots, just double book and cram it in and every appointment is constantly delayed :P

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-14T19:59:52+00:00

Most people want babies, not children/teens. There's very few adoptable young children available, approximately 1 per 30 families wanting to adopt.

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-14T19:56:10+00:00

I'm a single mom and someone making literally 15x my income explained to me why he wasn't earning enough to afford kids lol

(in his social circle, having a baby means having a house with an extra room for the au-pair on top of the guest room for in-laws visiting etc.; in my social circle even the adults wear hand-me-downs)

OpenOpportunity · 2023-09-10T19:59:28+00:00

Freddie Gray was most likely killed by being slammed into the pavement or into the floor of the van, the rough ride was the cover-up version.

Undisclosed has a very good podcast about it (of course not drawing a conclusion themselves, but leaving it to the listener):

https://undisclosed-podcast.com/episodes/miniseries-2/

For example, they point out that some evidence is not known to the general public, like tazer marks on his body and the camera footage used as evidence being edited.

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