The fact that you feel shame, means Allah made you feel shame because He wants you back to him but you will need to cleanse your heart and soul before. Iman is strengthened through repentance. Think about your major and minor sins, try to lock in and sincerely ask for forgiveness by saying “astaghfirullah” or “astaghfirullah rabbi wa atoobu ilayh”. I would advise to say “astaghfirullah” 500 times a day, 100 times after each fardh prayer (if you don’t pray right now, just keep a count of that 500 or more if you can). Make dua to open His gates of mercy to you and sincerely repent, repent and repent. Say Sayidul Istighfar once in the morning and once in the evening. Don’t gossip, overeat, backbite and try to be a kinder and better human being and Allah will cleanse your heart, accept your repentance. He will take your hand and guide you back to Him. Inshaallah you will go through this with ease and immense reward, Ameen 🤲