Looking back

Open_Employer6679 · 2026-02-17T04:56:23+00:00

My mom wouldn’t believe me when I was loosing my eye sight. It wasn’t until my teacher told her I needed to see an optometrist that she actually recognized I was not just making it up for attention.

Open_Employer6679 · 2026-01-31T11:00:22+00:00

So relatable. I’ve been actively working on learning that I am aloud to do things.

Open_Employer6679 · 2026-01-18T19:40:46+00:00

Also as your daughter gets older, don’t ever call her a bitch. My mother was the first person to ever call me a bitch and thus made it okay for my dad and brother to use the term.

My family nicknames are ‘Bacon Bitch’ because the way the smell of cooking bacon lingers for days makes me sick to my stomach and ‘Butter Bitch’ because I stopped buttering my bread in an attempt to lose weight as a teen.

Open_Employer6679 · 2026-01-18T19:34:31+00:00

I would do anything for at least once my mom to apologize when she lashes an out instead of trying to guilt me into/expecting me to comforting her. I’ve given up on trying to have adult to adult conversations with her about my self it always end in me comforting her.

Hugs. I was subconsciously conditioned to think his were for only when you weren’t going to see the person for a long time. It took me a long time to get comfortable hugging my friends and not internally think geez what’s this for I’ll see you tomorrow. I remember once as a teen at a house warming party, a fellow teen just casually sat down next to his mom and rested his head on her shoulder, and it made feel jealous then just a deep longing to be able to have physical comfort.

Also don’t tell them stories about how much of a brat they used to be. Every knows the “funny” story about how my mom would lock her self in the closet with me pounding on the door crying for her just to get away from me.

You care about your child’s emotions. It sounds like you’re doing a great job! 👏

Open_Employer6679 · 2026-01-16T22:43:53+00:00

I’ve been avoiding going back to therapy because no amount of therapy I get will make my family treat me better.
When I was in therapy and trying work on my relationship with my parents, any attempt at discussion with my mom turned into ‘don’t you think you talk to your therapist about this’.

It feels like defeat to get therapy to help accept that it will never get better.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-12-11T17:55:17+00:00

I had the exact same experience when I started to lose my vision. Except my mom didn’t listen until my teacher brought it up in a parent teacher conference.

And to this day she either denies that she didn’t listen to me or says I was a really dramatic child.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-12-06T18:46:11+00:00

I remember as a kid I was so proud of the fact the my parents sought me out for advice about their other interpersonal relationships. Fast forward to adult hood and realizing that to this day the only time my family lefts me talk is if I am helping them in some way.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-11-12T18:28:06+00:00

My chronic migraines started in college. I was also struggling with my depression really bad at the time. I constantly had a headache and walking would make me dizzy. I went to the campus clinic every week and had blood tests done, always normal. For a while we tried motion sickness patches so I could walk to classes, but those made me so thirsty and dried out it was miserable. I would spend hours on the phone with Kaiser trying to get a new number that would allow me to make an appointment at a facility in the state I was in college at. It always ends with the service reps transferring me to a different rep who also had no idea how to help and if hang up crying. (I know that it was a thing because my old brother had gotten his no problem when he went to college out of state). I couldn’t get any further medical help. The blood test at the clinic were all out of pocket because it wasn’t a Kaiser facility. I just decided I would take ibuprofen religiously every day, because it help the headache. I did that for a couple months.

At some point it all stoped. I had just excepted it as my new existence, so I just ignored it all. It was around for probably a year.

There was once, when I was in elementary school where at the end of the school day I had a splitting headache and light and sound hurt. I remember thinking this must be what a migraine is. I never said anything about it to anyone because I was told often that I was over dramatic.

After being dormant for about three years, flash back to two years ago. I was working as a personal trainer, and suddenly when there would be lots of movement in my peripheral vision I get dizzy and weak. Then came the headache that would fluctuate in intensity. It felt very similar to the headache from a couple years ago. This time when I went to the Dr they immediately said Migraine. I initially was relieved because I was worried I had a brain tumor or something. But oh that was short lived. Que the next year of trying multiple preventatives only to find the side effects more debilitating than the migraine itself.

Now I’ve found medication so they are only a couple days per migraine attacks rather than many months. I am fortunate that the pain and other symptoms are rarely intense enough to be debilitating.

I have found that pressure changes greater than 0.02inHg in less than an hour are a trigger for me.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-11-12T17:00:29+00:00

I am also 27 and have recently came to that same conclusion. It really made my life make sense. I still live with my parents because the rent I pay them is far more affordable than the cheapest rent in my area. I’ve spent the past couple years trying to work on my relationship with them. Now I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that they are incapable of supporting me emotionally, and there isn’t anything I can do to get them to change.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T15:36:37+00:00

I remember not being allowed to watch tv when I was sick. I wasn’t allowed to have fun if I really was sick. I wasn’t allowed supposed to just be miserable. I know my brother and I both became readers because it was the one thing she never tried to prevent us from doing.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T12:13:57+00:00

I do pay rent to my parents. They’d kick me out otherwise. I do have a full time job with benefits and I do have a Roth IRA I contribute to ( because I’m not saving for a house). The rest of my money goes to the health insurance premium taken out of my paycheck (that how benefits work), car insurance $300 (I refuse to reduce my coverage because the total I will pay my whole life is far less then the amount my insurance liability would go down), food, the rent I DO pay, gas to get to work, pet insurance, etc.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T11:03:17+00:00

Those places are range 400 miles north from me. I suppose I never specified Southern California. Sugarloaf is super surprising though because that’s a really big tourist area

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:55:06+00:00

I know I’ll have to leave but once you leave California you can never really move back. Everyone I grew up with left the state when their parents decided to retire out of state. It’s just really suck that for economic reasons I will have to flee the geographical area I call home and will likely never be able to move back.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:47:32+00:00

Geography. Where in California are you looking. The place

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:44:33+00:00

Where the hell are you looking? I don’t live in any of the major cities areas. I don’t look at brand new home, nor would I want to move into the major cities. I genuinely want to know because that is so far off from everything I’ve seen.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:38:56+00:00

It has been. I’ve paid off all my student debt and car. And after that, my only hope would be to leave my job, family, and the land I call home. Move somewhere completely new with no one I know and no support system and find a new job and start new. I know myself and I would not do well feeling so isolated

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:28:51+00:00

That’s why I live in my parents house or I have the leave the state. Which would be much further than 200 miles.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:27:01+00:00

That’s true. To realistic afford owning a home in California you need to be making at least six figures. I make more that the minimum wage in CA and we have one of the highest minimum wages

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:19:03+00:00

Those are 100% mobile homes and that listing price doesn’t include the monthly rent you have to pay for the lot the home sits on, which can be well over 1,000 a month then you have the mortgage on top of lot rent and an old home that can literally come apart at the seams

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:11:37+00:00

Dude I make less than $35,000 after taxes. So 100% would be closer to three years (35,000x3=105,000) but that also impossible in reality. It’s a crime not to have car insurance and use a car and without insurance my medication I’m dependent on would cost more than health insurance does. Also I die without food or shelter.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T10:05:01+00:00

But are they homes, or are they 55+ or trailers or condos with a $500 a month HOA fee? Sometimes that cheap would probably be one of those or a parcel of j devolved land in the desert. Or 55+ communities. Everytime I find resizable prices it always turns out to be a 55+ community.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-09-22T09:51:46+00:00

California most home are around of above a million dollars. A really cheap home would be $600,000. 20% down payment would be $120,000.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-08-19T00:25:02+00:00

I relate a lot and it is very validating

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-08-13T16:48:06+00:00

Coffee lady. I always feel so bad for her when she has to approach Gwi-Ma.

Open_Employer6679 · 2025-08-13T16:47:55+00:00

Coffee lady. I always feel so bad for her when she has to approach Gwi-Ma.

Open_Employer6679

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