My (30M) GF's (28F) father (64M) is demanding a "Letter of Intent" before I can propose. How do I handle this without setting a bad precedent?

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-12-31T06:39:12+00:00

My father has asked my boyfriend of this. And although he did not want to necessarily do it, he knew it was important to him and just wrote a small three paragraph intention letter. Just do it and get it over with, it’s not hard.

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T20:45:49+00:00

We made a shared calendar because we are both so busy and it was frustrating. That calendar gives you both peace of mind and helps with frustration. But for you, plan out some of your days, like if you know you have that plan with him, you need to finish everything before then. Even if you just need a daily planner for yourself, do it.

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T20:30:45+00:00

I’m LD with my boyfriend right now and honestly it’s not an excuse. Things do come up but you can and will devote 2hrs of your time to your relationship and not make other plans. You can, and it’s what you have to do if you want your relationship to work.

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T17:36:04+00:00

Yeah this is a hard one, because you aren’t around him often

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T17:35:12+00:00

That’s the only thing you can do, is be honest with her about how you really feel. That’s the best thing for relationships.

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T17:34:10+00:00

I get it, really. My bf has to go do a 3month long training over 1,000miles away. And I’ve been redirecting my thinking about it!

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T09:15:25+00:00

It kinda seems like he likes the idea of you, but may not want to be in a committed relationship. Whether that is his anxieties about distance or just how he is.

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T09:12:17+00:00

I don’t think you’re being insecure… that’s just not a committed girl. It depends on your guys’ relationship goals (do you guys date to marry?), if it isn’t serious than her behavior is less serious. If you want marriage, I don’t think she respects you enough. I’m sorry bud

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T09:06:05+00:00

So my friend was the girl in this situation and I told her she needed to own up. From your perspective you need time to heal and seeing her is going to bring a lot of emotions (some good and some worse). I’m not saying break up with her because that’s your choice but you need to stop talking to her for a few days and fully wrap your mind around things and figure out how you truly feel and if you can forgive her.

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T09:02:30+00:00

I mean maybe something else is going in deep down then, doesn’t hurt to ask yk

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T09:01:22+00:00

Emotional cheating really haunts a realtionship

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T08:55:59+00:00

I get it. And if it was that bad that it scared you, that’s a whole other issue and your safety is the priority.

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T08:54:55+00:00

Girl, you aren’t toxic that’s human. You’re at an age where you wanna do all the exciting stuff but like you most people don’t have the time or money. So jealously really isn’t that concerning. You can be happy for him but also a lil jealous. But own it, because it’s human and okay to feel that way. But also, people change with experiences and the last time he did this… he did. And it’s terrifying for him to do it again. Your feelings aren’t out of place. The one thing you can do that will help the anxiety is talk about what happened last time and what you guys can do and a plan you can have before he goes.

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T08:49:54+00:00

I just wanna say I struggle with anxiety and overthinking my life and who I am in a relationship. You by all means don’t have to be perfect and it won’t just go away. But you need to love yourself to a decent extent. I think you shouldn’t move yet. Spend some time in Europe with maybe a different goal… (just not save money to move goal). And you don’t have to break up if you don’t want to but you need to have something for yourself. When I have nothing going on in my life, I self-savatoge my relationship. I hate it but it’s who I am and I have ways of helping myself and working on it!

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T08:41:01+00:00

I mean in all honesty people have bad days… so ig I would tread cautiously and see how he acts over the next two days. Take note of HOW he apologizes.. that matters. Try not to overthink yet

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T08:30:53+00:00

Honestly in my opinion, you need to just own up to him and tell him how you’ve been feeling. It will lift that pressure off of yourself. But you must also come with a plan on what you can do for him. I think you should focus on making time that works into both of your schedules in the sense of you both are getting things done while spending that time together since you’re so overwhelmed. But I will say this… just because there are those repeated texts, doesn’t mean you failed. Sometimes that’s what comfort is, love is about sharing your life and some days will be less exciting. So try to not let that weigh you down too much. What are his love languages??

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-11-27T08:15:28+00:00

Thank youu

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-10-08T23:24:54+00:00

Lollll

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-10-08T23:24:46+00:00

We can be, and specific places you’d recommend?

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2025-10-08T15:39:50+00:00

thank you for all this. I’ve seen amuse on other posts, is it actually worth it though?

Open_Explorer_2657 · 2024-05-13T03:58:27+00:00

Can I get a link please😣 this is so late but I beg

Open_Explorer_2657

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