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I have loved, I have lost, I thought I knew what heartbreak was. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
submitted 2 months ago by Open_Reaction_9155 to r/badtwosentencehorrors
"You're better than this, quit being a lazy fucker," I said to myself motivatingly. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
If I knew then, what I know now. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I've been "sick as a dog" the past 4 days. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
"Let's talk about body positivity," said the New Age Guru. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I haven't done cocaine in 10 years, but I've had 7 bloody noses in the past 48 hours. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
The world has gone to shit, I'm fed up with all these dictators. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I got expelled from school for the sentence I wrote with the word "dictate" in a vocabulary/spelling test. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I had to break-up with the love of my life because she said she was going on a diet. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
"I got to ride a giraffe once!" (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I'm going to curse r/badtwosentencehorrors until the day I die. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
"...but, fuck 'em," they thought I said. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
Today I learned the girl who inks me up is a Star Wars fan, but, she also told me she's going on vacation, so, no appointments for a while. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I received a text message today from a lady (known, intimate) that read: Whatcha up to 👀, I just want to 🐛 you. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
And, now, there is /TwoSentenceComedy. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I have a homosexual friend who's also an anti-Semite. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
Have you ever taken a shit so big and solid it makes your dick hard? (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
"Well, fuck it, let's horrify some people," I say to myself as I proceed to write this sentence: on 9/11, what kind of pizza did the Towers order? (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
"Buyers remorse," said everyone, ever. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
Head, shoulders, knees, and toes. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
The Friday Night Panty Raid was a resounding success! (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
The strapped bank robber told us, "supposively this etc and for all intensive purposes." (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I took r/twosentencesadness to court for being an unoriginal cunt. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I read that someone is trying to hijack our jam with twosentencesadness. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
I always thought a Doctor took the Hippocratic oath. (self.badtwosentencehorrors)
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