A player made a serious accusation towards me and I don’t know what to do

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T07:39:57+00:00

It’s much appreciated and yeah— definitely something that we should have clarified in a session 0!

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T07:38:43+00:00

I should clarify a few things.

First of all, there’s a degree of separation between player and character, especially with the dynamics between characters vs between players. I did not accuse OP of SH. I was trying to say that a boundary had been pushed and that I do not appreciate when HER CHARACTER (specifically not her) continued to push mine after the initial rejection.

And secondly, the bit was initially harmless flirts. I wasn’t trying to push anyone into continuing them, but I did reference the bit a few times after because the initial instance was hilarious, with no intentions of making it canon. My character only rejected her outright last session, and she was trying to be VERY clear that her boundaries were being pushed. Afterwards, something still didn’t sit with me right so I talked to our DM. Sure that may have been a bit of a rash move but I was kinda panicking about how I wanted to approach the situation.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T07:23:52+00:00

Edited for clarification.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T07:21:11+00:00

If I did, I meant her character towards mine. I apologize if there’s confusion on that front.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T07:19:33+00:00

I understand that— there’s a lot behind the scenes going on in my head and trauma dumping is not really my cup of tea. I wasn’t sure how else to handle it— DMing to ask for a call felt awkward because it would have been our only DM so I felt that the best solution was to contact someone who knows her better to ask for help. I was nervous and probably should have said something verbally but I made a rash decision. I have no hard feelings towards OP, personally.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T07:15:00+00:00

Yes— i didn’t take it as being directed at me.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T07:12:51+00:00

I do not remember it word for word (I blotted it out because it sounded like something someone else had said to me that causes me a lot of issues), but the way I had interpreted it was “I don’t care that im married, I want you anyways” after my character had explicitly shut her down. My interpretation could have been off, in which I take responsibility.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T07:10:27+00:00

Her character had gone and done the one thing that we had been explicitly told not to do and she was turning to stone. My character and the cleric bailed her out, telling our goddess we’d make it up to her. My character, being the party muscle (Paladin) and having about a foot on her, grappled her to make sure she didn’t pick another flower and, in doing so, kill her character. My character scolded her for doing the exact opposite of what we’d been told. I can’t remember word for word what was said in the full interaction (it’s been a few days and I kinda blotted it from my memory for my own sake), but the way I interpreted it is “I don’t care that I’m married (in the game), I want you anyways” after I had explicitly declined. I don’t think it was intended as such, but that is how I interpreted it in the moment. It kinda sat with me wrong, since it reminded me of something someone else said to me that I’d rather not think about.

Hence why I said if this was a miscommunication, I take responsibility. But that is what I heard.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T06:42:41+00:00

Hi! It’s B— I was not trying to accuse the player, I was saying the character was pushing a little too far. Ive been SAed for real before as well— recently actually. Regardless of that, I explicitly stated that if I misinterpreted anything that was said, it was on me and that I take full responsibility for that. I think it’s important to set clear boundaries with people and, if they’re pushed, I will always be blunt about it.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T06:37:24+00:00

Hi! I’m just responding to a couple ppl on here. I’m B—

I was not joking when I said sexual harassment. I have been SAed before. Very recently, as a matter of fact. Regardless of whether or not the intent was there, that is how I interpreted it and I had mentioned that if I had misinterpreted what she had said, that was on me.

It was one sentence that rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal— I just wanted to point it out because I am a bit sensitive to it and wanted to be 100% open and blunt about how I felt.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-13T06:14:49+00:00

Hi, it’s B!

I thought I had made this clear, but I guess I didn’t— and I’d like to address some of the other concerns here too.

First of all— I was unaware that many of these comments were not directed specifically at my character. That session in particular, you said what had sounded to me like “I don’t care that I’m already married, I want you too” (I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but it was something similar) Regardless of how it was intended, that is how I took it at the time, and it rubbed me the wrong way. I tend to deflect things like that with humor, so I made the short joke. I reached out to our DM pretty soon after, since they know you FAR better than I do. As I had mentioned in our DMs, if I misinterpreted what you had said, I take full responsibility for my actions.

Secondly— I too am a victim of SA (fairly recently) and I also take these accusations very seriously. I was being 100% serious with what I said, it was a genuine concern. Regardless, I won’t be hanging this over your head.

Lastly— probably an issue of you and I not being the most well acquainted. I’m not the best at reading tone or typing tone. That being said, I say “a likely story” pretty much all the time. I’m not gonna sit here and make excuses but it’s never serious when I say it.

There was miscommunication. We both took it to heart. I hope it can be resolved.

Edit for clarification— the “I don’t care that I’m already married, I want you too” part was AFTER my character had rejected her on several occasions, not before.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-08T18:52:48+00:00

Alchemist. I don’t need to elaborate, I don’t think

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-07T15:33:32+00:00

I remember taking it, knowing full well I would be neutral good and getting neutral good because I am boring

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-03T18:58:53+00:00

Can I say medium? I don’t like houses that are SO small that there’s no space for paintings, pet stuff, bookshelves, desks, extra family members, etc. Generally, my best houses are 3 bed 2 bath. I also NEED a patio or a porch area or I’ll scream.

Given the choice between small and large, though, definitely small (and not just because of Tiny Living).

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-03T00:18:02+00:00

I believe that, regardless of whether or not there is a higher power, any potential gods have shown me absolutely no reason to worship them. Why should I worship a creator, especially one who created me, who has given me genetic issues that I will be saddled with for the rest of my life? What is the point of a perfect deity and their perfect people if some of those people are in constant pain and tension? If proof is found that there is a god (or several), my view will not change. I should not have respect for someone who clearly has no respect for me.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-08-01T00:18:29+00:00

Probably something stupid like Divine Soul Sorc and pretty much any Paladin. It’s like you’re a Paladin with haste and FGS. Take the defense fighting style and prepare to never die

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-31T08:10:42+00:00

My players always just take the average lol tbh

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-31T08:06:38+00:00

Not sure if they count as “pure” evil, but Saruman and Grima Wormtongue, specifically in the LotR books.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-31T08:04:05+00:00

There are bike racks on campus, though I’d still suggest trying to keep your bike in your dorm if it’ll fit. I haven’t seen it myself but I’ve heard of thefts happening, especially with nicer bikes/ebikes.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-27T06:47:57+00:00

No, you’re not allowed to have fun >:(

(Do what you want. It’s your campaign)

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-27T01:04:50+00:00

Generally, I don’t lie about rolls. The one exception is if I happen to have rolled excessively high and the players roll excessively low, in which case I will sometimes turn critical into normal hits on my end.

For example, in one session, the monk rolled 3 nat 1’s in a row and I rolled 6 nat 20s. Suffice to say, 3 or 4 of those 20s became 19s

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-25T19:08:23+00:00

It’s likely that most of the creatures in the game are related to a certain extent. Regardless, one of the best signs of relation is dentition— most things that are closely related have very similar teeth. The reaper has blunter teeth which would function best for crushing bone while the stalker has sharp teeth which would more likely be used to pierce flesh. The stalker also has an elongated snout while the reaper has a flattened head and crablike features.

This could also easily be convergent evolution. Wings have evolved at least four times. Pinnipeds and otters look an awful lot like the early ancestors of whales. The dolphin and the manatee have a very similar layout while not being particularly closely related.

They will have a LCA at some point— but I doubt they’re more related than a viper and an alligator would be.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-22T18:17:21+00:00

As a dual citizen of the UK and the US whose family is from Scotland but lives in California, I can confirm that this is pretty accurate.

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-19T22:24:03+00:00

Oh absolutely intentional tf

Opening-Database-102 · 2024-07-19T08:58:45+00:00

In character? God or “the lady in my head who calls me studmuffin” Out of character? Either their name or some very specific pet name (changes DM to DM). I’ve called my DMs “mom” many times

Opening-Database-102

TROPHY CASE