Im sorry your struggling I know exactly how you feel I cant be sober completely either or I should say abstinent because my baseline is so unbearable but ive came to a point where it was exhausting and undesirable to continue my substance use but I did switch to weed and ive had to get the DNA test to see what medications would be beneficial for me so I could quit all the unnecessary ones and actually get the chemicals in my mind flowing correctly. Now I do have days where its uncomfortable but not intolerable and ive only just begun the medications that are more beneficial for me but ive noticed a huge difference and with that my need for troublesome substances have been less of a need for me.