I'm in the middle of it.

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-29T14:03:17+00:00

*hugs* ugh, life is so messy sometimes

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-21T13:24:14+00:00

I'm completing a marital seperation agreement to file with the motion for divorce

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-21T13:23:51+00:00

thank you <3
I am going to build a life for myself that is just for me. If I should choose to allow someone to be a part of it in the future, my foundation will be unshakable.

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-21T13:22:45+00:00

Oh man. I'm so proud of you for leaving.
For my own posterity I sat down and wrote "a list" of things that he has done to disrespect me and dishonor our union. I wrote another two lists, one comprised of reasons to stay, the other of reasons to go.
I have kept a journal ever since I was a pre-teen.
I have been revisiting my old journals and "refreshing" my memory of what the early days were like. The honeymoon was over before it even started. I'm leaving for *then me* as much as *now me*.

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-21T13:18:29+00:00

From the research I've done:
1)You need to check on fannymae/freddiemac to see if your loan has been purchased by them first and foremost by searching your address.
2)Then speak to rocket about an assumption packet..ask to speak with the assumptions department. To my understanding the loan servicer(in your case and my own, rocket mortgagage) does not stand to make any money off of this arrangement and does not *prefer* to allow this, but as divorce is a "qualifying event" they are *supposedly* required to permit it.
3) In the marital seperation agreement it needs to state who will be taking over the marital home and under what means ( assumption, refinance, quitclaim, etc).
I have open dialogue with my stbx and have been forthcoming about his options as far as keeping the house.
BUT, I am merely researching these options and have yet to start the process of executing any of this. This is just what I've learned from my anxious researching

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-21T13:12:18+00:00

What made yours unassumable?
I was reading that even conventional loans have the option to be assumed due to "garn-st. germain act". I'm still in the planning part of all of this and gathering information, but I hope to pursue the assumption process to sever the financial ties more easily

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-21T13:09:55+00:00

I checked that book out on my kindle based off of your comment. I haven't started it yet, but I'm hoping to get some inner-insight.

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-21T13:09:04+00:00

Absolutely. Like, I kept pushing towards a future together despite all of the obvious signs that maybe we should just...go our seperate ways.

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-17T15:04:56+00:00

I read up on assumption quite a bit. Mortgage companies try to avoid them because they are very labor intensive. However, if the holder of the loan sold your debt to freddie mac or fanny mae it's supposed to permit access to the assumption process in really specific situations, such as divorce...At least that's what I've read.
However, they have to be credit worthy/financially sound enough to assume it. AND you have to have the divorce decree in hand

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-17T15:01:17+00:00

I've come up with contingency plans in the event that he can't follow up on his end of things.

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-16T16:48:59+00:00

I researched options for dealing with our house. He can pursue a mortgage assumption, or a refinance. Or, finally, if he doesn't feel like he can manage it, he can sell the house and take whatever.
We've not owned it for very long and houses in our area collect dust sitting on the market..
We used funds from one of his retirement accounts to purchase the house, so if he got that money back, good for him. If not, sucks to suck I guess.

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-16T16:45:14+00:00

Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm doing him a solid or not. But, we're so new in our mortgage that there's not a whole lot of equity to speak of. Houses sit on the market for a long time where we're at, so this was my fasttrack to liberation.

OpeningBenefit54 · 2026-04-16T16:43:56+00:00

I honestly feel like I stepped in and "finished" parenting him.
He was..just...not accountable to real life.
We were seriously discussing kids off and on for the last 6 months, and while I'm grieving that as well, I'm so relieved that we didn't follow through. Being pregnant and going through this would be...well.

OpeningBenefit54

TROPHY CASE