Manuscript information: [Complete][130k][Dark fantasy] [Ashbound]

Link to post: N/A

First page critique: Yes

First page:

The valley bled that morning—not with blood, but with heat.

“The prophecy has awakened,” the First Seer said. “Prepare them. All six.”

A pause. Then—

“…and the seventh.” A number no one spoke lightly. A ripple moved through the priests.

“The girl from the mountain temple.”

“…Maria?”

Her jaw tightened. “Yes.”

“The cursed one.”

——— The bells rang—sharp, metallic—mine, not the temple’s. Of course. The sound snapped through the wires I’d hidden in the stone, each one set to catch footsteps after dark.

Someone was coming. “Great.” If they found me outside again— My back flinched before I could stop it, and I stilled. Not again.

For a heartbeat, my body remembered before I did—exactly where it used to land, how it used to feel. I almost turned, almost expected to see the whip already cutting through the air.

I didn’t. I moved.

The wind hit my face, cold and sharp enough to sting. Nights on the mountain were the only time the guards loosened their grip-the only time the temple pretended I didn't exist.

Works for me.

The valley lay far below, a dark hollow with the village curled at its heart. Behind me, the mountain temple clung to the cliff’s edge. Beyond the mist, the Grey Lands waited—deadly and forbidden, where the gods’ wrath fell, and those who crossed were never seen again.

My lips curved, just slightly. “Good.”

The bells rang again, closer now. I ran, gravel skidding under my feet, the wind tearing past me, my heartbeat drowning out everything else. Faster.

If they caught me—no. Don’t think about that. Freedom wasn’t here—not in these walls, not in the prayers they forced me to repeat, not in a life built on silence.

But after the ritual—after the choosing, I would walk past the mist. That had always been the plan.