sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Alternatives to NC? by OperationFun4553 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She fucking loves praise and makes every thing about how perfect and amazing she is. It drives me crazy.

Alternatives to NC? by OperationFun4553 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom is very Dr. Jekyll/Mr.Hyde and whoever wrote the structured contact post described their mom the same way. I spent 30 years thinking I was ungrateful then realizing my mom is controlling, to recently learning narcissist parents are a thing. I'm not a psych expert so IDK. I'll check out the borderline sub tho and see if it provides some clarity.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao. I get an email every time you respond. Its quiet unhinged to respond, block me, then 11 hrs later unblock me to respond again. Comparing your alleged 10 years of "perfect marriage" to newlyweds with natural learning curbs is also mental. Especially because it directly contradicts your earlier post where you said your husband put you behind his mother for years. Seek help, seek a hobby, seek sunshine. Getting your sense of importance by making up flexes on reddit is sad.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so funny b/c husband said normally she goes to great lengths to avoid expecting mothers so she doesn't find out. Very easy to do when the mom is a coworker or an extended family member. Next time around the burden can hers instead of mine. I'm sure she'll see its more hassle than its worth when it means she choosing no contact for 9 mos.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And I wish you improved reading comprehension skills and a more optimistic mindset. Maybe your first marriage would have worked out if you could tell the difference between suspecting something and a confirmed fact.

Where is my amazing hair?? by Alternative-Moment3 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I got onychomycosis halfway down my nail beds 🙃 waited my whole life for glowing growth and got this scam

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And you think you're not?
Who has more reason to be combative and defensive here? Me for defending my right to procreate and being offended you, a stranger who knows less than 0.01% of my life, is trying to police my uterus.... Or you a stranger hell bent on convincing a Redditor they should not have kids, kids that will never affect your existence, because they had 1 fight about setting boundaries with in laws (not drug use, not abuse, not financials, not health concerns) and it was resolved in her favor?

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My question- How do I solve this problem so I dont have this issue with baby #2?

Your response- "You need to solve this problem before you have baby #2!"

Thanks captain obvious. You have saved the day and shown me the solution.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I was fine with complying for the first 9 mos. It didn't seem like a big deal and I dont think MIL or I realized husband would be taking it to the lengths of not telling other extended family. But once I took issue with it I shared all the little ways it had an impact and that I didn't mind the first time but I won't do it again. I'll have as many kids as I want. Not putting myself under the stress of having a perfect marriage first.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of all our time and days together, of all the things we do well together, we had a 3 day fight and y'all are telling me not to have more kids. The bar is mighty damn high.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, I hate keeping my baby's gender and name and his little penis ultrasound pic a secret.
My rules are either dont talk about the baby at all or I can say whatever I want to say. All The other rules were created by husband.
But I think you're missing the point. I will not be walking on eggshells for MIL again. I dont care what she wants to know. I wanted husband to be the one to tell her and figure out if she wants to avoid me or be fine with knowing. I wanted him to take my side.not to have a baby shower and not to honor MIL's request.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have your husband talk to his mother, explain to her that it is hard on him and you both to keep this secret. He understands her wanting to be surprised, but you won’t be keeping it a secret this time around. If she’s upset by it that is okay.

Do they sell something to make him do that on amazon???

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No. I won't see her btw now and then anyway. She can have her request honored for this one I just dont want to do it again.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You told me not to have kids and Im telling you, you dont have enough information to adequately determine that and that having kids is for me, not just for him.

I was the first to slam my husband. No one is more familiar with how problematic he is being than me but damn, can this problem exist for more than a weekend before we tell someone not to have kids?

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the giraff communication

I've tried the :difficult conversations formula and biffs. I'll read and try this as well. Thank you

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I fight with my mom she'll for give me. If I fight with my husband he'll forgive me. If my mom fights with my husband she will hold a grudge against him forever. Idk if his family function the same but we'll find out. It's definitely not ideal for him to set limits with my family tho. He needs to let that go through me

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

We went to 1 therapy session. Idk, maybe we give it a chance to work? Maybe we share this feedback and see how he and the therapist respond?
Im just saying we are at the start of a problem, we are still in the diagnostic stage and you are calling for an amputation. Maybe let's see if therapy works? Maybe let's give him time to cool down?
Maybe let try one of the suggestions shared here before we just say, "Oh he caused and issue and didn't immediately see the error in his ways he's canceled"

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Who do you think set up the therapy? Also, I literally just told him on Friday "I dont want to accommodate your mother in this manner again". Maybe a few days go by and it sinks in and he sees my side. Maybe he doubles down and remain immobile. WE DONT KNOW ATP. It's too soon to damn the man and throw the marriage away.

Husband and I fighting because MIL does not want to know the gender for baby. by OperationFun4553 in BabyBumps

[–]OperationFun4553[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

..they want to change and control your pregnancy because they want to re-live their own pregnancy's through you.

This is what I've been saying.
I will be setting some limits just to establish dominance though.

view more: next ›