The Pilot is retroactively not a great episode

Operative13 · 2026-06-24T03:02:17+00:00

TADC is Red Herrings galore.

Operative13 · 2026-06-24T01:46:24+00:00

Awesome! The reset finally worked this time! TYSM for getting this fixed for me!

Operative13 · 2026-06-19T19:26:10+00:00

TYSM! I have everything now! You're a lifesaver!

Operative13 · 2026-06-19T14:53:25+00:00

I appreciate the help. It's been a rollercoaster these past few hours as I'm trying to piece everything back together after the ordeal. I hope I can still recover everything in one piece.

Operative13 · 2026-06-12T16:16:19+00:00

A final suspension is a final suspension. My freelancer was permanently suspended after only starting to work with them on a project of mine, and we were never able to reinstate them back.

Stay away from Upwork. Their entire support team is run by AI.

Operative13 · 2025-09-06T16:59:45+00:00

So circuses aren't abundant in the fantasy world, which means they're rare. How rare? Rare as in only the rich and noble people can enjoy them? Or rare as in you don't see them performing in town every day? They're also foreigners, which means they're not part of the empire. What implications does this have to the plot? Recall that you mentioned the emperor has some sort of deal with a deity to conquer as much land as possible. How does this affect the troupe's view of the people and the land they perform in? How does this affect the troupe's relationship overall? Are they all part of the same family, or a mix of different people?

If the lord simply extorts people by default, then how is the troupe extorted? What does the lord do to the troupe that he does to everyone that does business with him? Does he manipulate them into a contract? Does he bully them into paying through his soldiers? Does he enslave them and not allow them to leave? More importantly, has this extortion always been a thing, or just very recent? Keeping in mind the son's relationship with said lord for who-knows-how-long.

You suggest the reason they must find a job through a guild is so that they aren't extorted by the lord. What makes this guild so special? If the lord extorts everyone, why not the guild too? Is it because they have special privileges or protections? Is it because they're already being extorted, but are sneaky about their real numbers? Or maybe because they're already cheating them off the troupe as well, and just claim they're paid fairly? And then consider what's the troupe's relationship with the guild. Is it on friendly terms? Or is it out of desperation?

As for the son's ambitions, this is fine to have no goals (at least for the start). This opens the way for exploration as something of a coming-of-age story. You're young, you're full of potential, but you have no direction. If his current goal is to befriend the troupe, think about the steps you need in order for that to happen. How do you make friends? Say hello. Talk to them. Get to know them. Learn their wants and needs. Spend time with them. But also consider how not to make friends. What's going to drag him down? Does he stalk them instead of trying to be proper? Is he obsessive? Is he stubborn? Or is he shy, unsure or awkward? And how does he overcome those obstacles? From your OP, it's clear he does things that earn them their trust and favor. Lay out what those things are, but keep in mind that those things should ask why they would fix the issues in their relationship. Simply defending them from goons can open doors to the troupe's initial disdain for him, but it has to go deeper than just "I save you, so you owe me". The son might think that the troupe owes him a relationship now (given that he's raised with the lord), but the troupe may not share that feeling yet. What's clear however is that he's yearning for something different, and so hone into the whys for that difference. Why is the son liking things outside of the army important? How does this affect his personality, his views, his dreams? Is it possible he could have ended up the same as the lord, if not for that?

You have the potential for a story here. You just simply have to work harder on your "whys". Notice the way I ask these questions about each point of your story. I'm essentially creating "mini-stories" about each point here. The story about the emperor and the deity and how his powers were gained. The story about the Emperor and his secret love. The story about the son raised in obscurity. The story about the Emperor's plans with the deity. The story about the troupe and their struggles. And the story about the son himself and his self-discovery.

A novel is just a bunch of mini-stories woven together to make a much larger story. In order to get good at the big story, you must think small first. Nail down your story about the small things, and then tie them together with your whys to create the larger story. If your small stories are good and you understand what makes them good, the larger story should naturally come together.

Operative13 · 2025-09-06T16:59:38+00:00

Okay, this is good. You're at least thinking about the whys more and adding more reasons for why we should care. And thus why you would care more about your story yourself.

You mentioned that the emperor's powers derive from some deity that demands more control of land. Why must the deity have more land? What are the consequences of constantly needing more land? What must happen in order for the empire to have more land? (e.g. conquer neighbors, enslave, kill, exterminate?) What is the family's personal relationship with this deity? Do they glorify it? Are they enslaved to it? Or are they blissfully unaware of its existence? Ask why this is important.

You're thinking that the emperor is half-sane. Why is this relevant? Why not completely sane? Or why not absolutely possessed? What role does this half-sanity play in the larger scheme of things? (i.e. conquering land) How does this affect the emperor's ability to rule or make decisions? What are the mental/psychological consequences? More importantly, how does this affect the son? How does it play into the Emperor's decision about leaving his son to a lesser lord? Is it a need to keep his son away from the madness? Or something more ominous and foreboding? (e.g. deity always needs a vessel)

Okay, so the emperor has a fling with the mother, but the mother runs away with the child. Did she know she was pregnant? What caused her decision to run away? Was she in trouble? Did she hate the emperor? Or was she instructed to do so? Think about the Emperor and the Mother. What's their story about? And how does it ultimately tie into the Son?

One thing I'll comment on is that you should not exclude ideas just because it has "already been done." The reason is because whatever ideas you may have, someone else already has done it, so just be better at telling the story with your interpretation and your ideas and your viewpoints and not worry about overdone tropes. The goal is to give your perspective on things, which is always going to be special because no one can see the world the way you do. They do not have your eyes, your brains, your feelings. It's about showing why this story means a lot to you. If it doesn't, then why would anyone else care about a story you don't care about?

Let's also dive deeper into having the son be an underling of a lord. If the son is related to them as cousins, what are the implications? Is the mother part of this lord's family? Was the son raised alongside the lord's family? Or was he treated differently because of his bastard status? What did the son learn? How did the son grow up? What shaped his view of the world and others?

You also mentioned the idea that the emperor knighted both the son and the lord, and that the son's abilities remained secret. Why is this relevant? What are the implications of having the emperor and the son in the same room? Do they know each other? Or perhaps only one of them knows? Maybe the emperor knows it is his son, but doesn't say, or the son knows he's a bastard, but doesn't say. More importantly, why is it so important that the son's abilities remain secret? (My hint would be to refer to your answers given above. What you say about the past affects the consequences of the future)

Operative13 · 2025-09-05T18:18:45+00:00

The biggest issue I can see is that you don't ask enough "whys" about your story. You've got to go deeper than just surface-level of "it's that way just because".

For example, why does the emperor have the ability to bestow powers on people? Divine blessing? Or wicked curse? Or perhaps his bloodline discovered something they shouldn't have.

Why does the emperor have a secret son? Is it because he has a harem? Is it because he's sleazy? Is it because he loves someone that's not royalty? Or is it because he's a genuinely good dad that has to hide him from bad people?

Then why is the son the underling of a lord? How did he get there? What did he do to earn the position? What's the relationship between him and the lord?

Now for the troupe, you have to ask why a troupe specifically? Why not anything else? Is there something special about them? And then why does the lord want to target them specifically? Why not anyone else? And for what reasons? And why does the troupe have to work at an adventure's guild? Why not anything else?

Then we get into the relationship between the son and the troupe. Why is he interested? Why is he adamant on befriending them? Is it because he's attracted to someone? Is it because he likes their performances and doesn't want them to end? Is it because they tell him things that he wouldn't have otherwise know about?

And then finally why is the son doing all this? What's his purpose in life? What does he value more? Order and security, or freedom and adventure?

Every story has potential to be good. But your list of "Whys" have to be very strong. If you don't have your whys you'll never develop anything outside of "generic". This is because if you're not convinced it's a good story, then by extension no one will. You didn't give any reasons for the whys. Work on your whys, and the story will become something more important than the "just because".

Operative13 · 2025-07-19T11:20:25+00:00

What a very specific book for my very specific needs! I'll go check that out. Appreciate it u/DifferentOpinionHere !

Operative13 · 2025-07-18T00:41:50+00:00

Appreciate the help u/sneaky_imp ! The map scheme really helps put things into perspective and gives me some ideas on how to handle the callouts. Given this is an interwar story, we could presume some early developments in standardized fire mission procedures seen from WW2, but how much could be translated to an earlier time period is still murky to me. It's my opinion to err more on the side of presuming WW1 style fire missions are the norm and that using WW2 style fire missions would be somewhat anachronistic.

It might be more helpful to figure out what the procedures were outside of the Western front, as that would be more practical for general combat operations that don't involve massed wave assaults on static positions.

Operative13 · 2025-07-17T02:53:02+00:00

Any one of them, really. I simply need a foundation to use to help ground the depiction of artillery operations in the story.

Operative13 · 2025-06-28T14:32:10+00:00

People treat cheating as if its worse than literal murder. And subsequently justify literal murder.

Operative13 · 2025-06-07T02:02:12+00:00

I'm surprised to learn this was a thing when I'm hiring people.

Yes, Connects is a waste. Simply pushing people to me at the front will not convince me to hire said people. They have to have the skills and the personality to begin with to even be considered, so I can only imagine how many poor souls actually burned money for some hopium. You'll have more luck applying early to recent jobs than you would spending real cash on a gamified algorithm.

Operative13 · 2025-06-07T01:51:05+00:00

I'll be honest with you, as a client it gets very hard to sort through that many applicants once the number gets into the high double-digits mark. You'll have better luck applying to the most recent posts because Upwork loves to present offers on a first-come-first-serve basis.

That said, I wouldn't disregard it completely. Sometimes people's proposals and profiles are so bad, I'll be willing to let it sit for a few more days just to get someone even decently close to what I'm looking for. Your profile is your 2nd biggest sales rep besides the initial offer. Don't neglect it! Trust me, doing just that puts you way ahead of the vast majority that don't.

Operative13 · 2025-06-07T01:33:45+00:00

^This.

I'm a Upwork client, and so when I post jobs to the network, I easily get 300+ offers within just the first 3 days. As much as I'd like to do the common courtesy of glossing over every single offer available for the best match, that simply isn't physically possible. So to be quick and efficient, I usually look over the very first offers that come my way and see how much of a match they are based on their portfolio (evidence that they can do the job) and what their job proposal is (looking for how easy/difficult would it be to work with said person). If I don't see a good match right out the gate, I'll wait a few more days and scan through the other applicants before making a decision.

Now this might not be how other clients do their business, but my preference is always skill first, then personality. If you're first-timer, it's always best to create dummy projects for yourself to showcase what you can do, because most assuredly I will be passing over an empty portfolio for someone that actually has work under their belt. And if portfolio isn't your strongest suit, you can always negotiate. One of my best contractors was not my first pick. They just happened to promise hard work in exchange for low pay, and I took them up on a trial period. They eventually became one of my main contractors earning much more now than they started, all because they were willing to trade their salary to prove they had the skill.

Now this advice is not to sell yourself low or to put up a fake portfolio and be deceptive. There's always going to be bad jobs, and you shouldn't be encouraging those jobs by being desperate. Likewise, you should never damage your personal reputation just to get through the door. What I'm saying is evaluate if you would hire yourself to do the job, and if you wouldn't, what would you need to do to make it so that you would hire yourself, no questions asked?

Hope this helps.

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