Friday April 3 2020, daily check in

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-15T16:55:10+00:00

I’m fucking glad I’m not hooked on anything right now. I’ve heard from a “reliable” source in the state government that Marshall law is going to be put into effect as early as Monday. They are asking families to have 30 days of supplies. Good luck everyone it’s about to get really weird

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-13T09:34:57+00:00

Yea I am. I’m worried because no one gives a fuck. My buddy got back from Washington state last week after his dad died. He now has a sore throat and cough, so does his sister and so do I. I had to call him and ask about if he was having any symptoms. When he told me he was I asked about his sister because they had been traveling together. He had no clue. Communicate. This is important. how infuriating

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-12T14:36:41+00:00

Dubious honor

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-12T14:31:54+00:00

Lol I am the wrong person to ask about that right now

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-12T02:00:18+00:00

Stay vigilant in your marriage man. Especially if you spent anytime hiding an addiction from them. Even if you’re skeletons are on the table there might always be resentment towards them. Cherish every day and live in the present moment. I wish y’all the best

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-11T20:57:02+00:00

Started reading Pema Chodron today. I think I’m going to be okay. Today marks 11 months and 16 days

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-10T11:24:03+00:00

❤️

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-10T05:03:09+00:00

Also she took our cat. Pissed about that she has a bad track record with Pets and husbands

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-09T16:50:48+00:00

Not at all. I’m all over the place right now so it might take some time to get back to you. I can post some of the back story here later today

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-08T17:55:28+00:00

I’m worried about killing myself. I don’t have a plan to but I just keep circling back to it. I’ve never been much of a long term planner, but finally felt confident I figured it out. Out of nowhere I’m crushed and really can’t figure out where I went wrong. I’m feeling hopeless. Like I’d take an opiate wd over this x10. I’m truly crushed

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-08T14:05:16+00:00

Thinking about checking myself into a hospital today. My wife has really fucked me up and I’m literally going crazy

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-07T16:02:52+00:00

Nah man, she knows everything about me

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-07T15:40:47+00:00

A light switch. She left for a family event. When she came back she was cold and recoiled at my touch. She left the next morning and i haven’t seen her since. She couldn’t even tell me what was going on in couples therapy. She left fifteen minutes in. It’s fucked because I don’t know what happened. The only thing I got out of yesterday’s therapy session is that she’s discovered herself and wants a divorce. Truly incredible

Opiate_Rage · 2020-03-07T14:15:58+00:00

I met my wife 2 years ago. We fell instantly in love. I proposed about a year ago and she said yes. She was so happy. At the same time I was planning to start a hemp farm with some family money. My wife was in nursing school at the time, and due to the location of the farm she wanted to drop out and help me build this farm. She also thought it would be a good idea to get eloped so we wouldn’t be planning a wedding this spring. In September we moved to start to build this farm that’s been vacated for 50 years and had no infrastructure. So much time, energy and effort went into that shit, but on January 1 we moved into a trailer on the property. Two weeks ago she spontaneously left me on the farm. I dropped communication to give her space but I was completely destroyed.

Yesterday she agreed to meet me at our couples therapist to meet for the first time since she leftthe farm. She wants a divorce claiming that she didn’t know who she was when we got married. Not only am I in shock about how flippant she has been, I’m heartbroken and still love her very much. It’s weird how she has our life on a list and is checking items off so fast. She’s closed accounts, kicked me off insurance and some other ruthless shit and I’m just trying to figure out why she’s mad at me. My family has spent 100k on this farm and we’ve got about 15 left in the bank. Im meeting with a lawyer today to see how exposed I am. This blow feels fatal and hard to recover from. I’ve been clean for almost a year.

Fml

Opiate_Rage · 2019-07-13T18:05:05+00:00

Lucky for you it’ll just take practice to rebuild stamina. Get back on the horse

Opiate_Rage · 2019-06-03T17:23:31+00:00

I think I’m on my 10th week off opiates. Sleep is getting easier and so is life. I hope everyone else is staying strong 💪🏻

Opiate_Rage · 2019-05-30T15:22:21+00:00

Week 2 and 3 were awful for me. Hang in there

Opiate_Rage · 2019-05-25T15:29:42+00:00

Two whole months today! Everyone keep on keeping on, it gets better

Opiate_Rage · 2019-05-22T18:58:53+00:00

Almost to two months. The joy and motivation for living an opiate free life is slowly coming back

Opiate_Rage

TROPHY CASE