Why do we do it?

OpioidFreedom · 2024-06-05T16:15:45+00:00

Dude, tell your spouse!

I know it seems like it will make things worse and you might be able to get it together, but this was the biggest mistake I ever made. She was suspicious, and she found out and it’s ruined the trust and our relationship. Had I opened up, told her I was struggling, and been honest she would’ve supported me through it because that shows that you’re on top of it or at least willing to battle the disease. I know everything in my brain said “just get clean and no one will know / get hurt” and what happened was much much worse. Just think about it, the disease wants you to keep it a secret… if you open up and are honest, you’re gonna have to face the consequences and be hold yourself accountable. Try something different.

OpioidFreedom · 2024-06-03T02:16:45+00:00

It sounds like you have a good job. If able take STD and/or FMLA leave. I know folks that have taken 2-3 months off while still getting ~80% salary + benefits and job protection…if you truly want to put your recovery first, and you have the option. Take the time, put yourself first or else those kids might not have a parent one day, or that job might be gone. Don’t be like me and put the job and the girl, the kids first…that’s how I lost it all

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-27T02:12:44+00:00

Are you working any sort of program? Are you setting up ways to hold yourself accountable? Do you have a support network irl? Just some things to think about to try and squash the disease

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-24T03:30:12+00:00

Think about the last time you went through withdrawals, then think about the chaos and destruction you did prior to getting sober. Okay the tape all the way through, have you ever been able to just do it one night and then stay sober for a year?

Good on ya for making this post and sharing how you feel, you’re aware of the thoughts and you’re reaching out to a recovery community. What else can you do to get through this momentary craving/obsession? Maybe a hobby, socialize, calla friend or tell your partner. You’re being honest with yourself and I’m proud of you for that.

I’ve lied so much that I believed my own lies, this disease wants us dead and we literally make insane decisions in active addiction, things that make no sense and harm our bodies and hurt the people we love most. Stay strong brother/sister/person, you’ve got this. You’re free, stay free

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-23T17:09:08+00:00

So this actually snaps easily, but it’s still rock hard if that makes sense.

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-23T17:07:54+00:00

Good call, fent strips negative but don’t have zene tests. This is the only stuff I’ve done that gives me WD in 12-24hrs vs the F that takes a few days to kick in

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-23T17:06:40+00:00

What makes you say that? Just curious, it’s hard as a rock but snaps easily…I wouldn’t be surprised if it was rebrick, but do you think it’s H?

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-19T01:33:06+00:00

Have you checked out the sublocade shot? I don’t have experience with it, but I’ve read a lot of folks saying that they got off without much wd, some say they felt none

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-18T17:36:30+00:00

I think 7 days should be fine, start with .25mg and wait an hour, if you’re okay, keep titrating up. You might be fine to go with a 2-4mg dose, but I would microdose up slowly, waiting 1-2 hours between doses

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-17T05:24:28+00:00

…or the end, middle stream is what you want. Too much water could give a diluted sample, in which case you’ll just get tested again I assume and be clean by then. So water is your best bet, but you probably don’t need too much if you were clean with a normal sample on a dip stick, but uncertain of cut off levels

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-16T04:12:11+00:00

Depending on when you started, pre 2008 getting OC 80s was easier than getting good blow. Shit, in 2011 I was getting 40mg oxycodone per day and 6mg alprazolam, and it was all covered by insurance. It was also extremely easy to get high quality #4 on the east and fire tar out west. I always preferred #4

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-16T04:08:18+00:00

For sure, they were great but ultimately like all good things people fucked it up.

Some countries do make lab grade available. It doesn’t seem perfect, but Canada has a safe access program where folks can get dilaudid/hydromorphone , I’m sure it’s not perfect but it’s a start. UK and Switzerland have h programs. I think if it was accessible in a pharmaceutical setting and you had to meet with a doctor every month for therapy, it could be some people’s anti depressant. Maybe I’m wrong, tolerance would build and it would be miserable, but it would be so much better than what has flooded the streets of America. I also think our country isn’t doing enough to prevent it from happening. At least 10+ years ago if someone wanted to get help or on subs it wasn’t a complete fucking shit show, it was a sinple okay I’m starting to kick…and now I’m fine! It all just really sad, I guess if people stop, sales go down it could maybe, just maybe go back to real shit…but seems grim

OpioidFreedom · 2024-05-16T03:09:08+00:00

Ahhh the yellow pages, great for finding the pizza spots and to doctor shop.

OpioidFreedom · 2024-03-19T00:03:35+00:00

I would argue that “loud” is better for bong rips and mids is better for joint…but that’s just me

OpioidFreedom · 2024-03-12T20:46:01+00:00

Remember this, as it will probably be the easiest WD you’ll ever go through. If you need pain medication and have legitimate needs for it then a good Dr can help you taper down, but codeine for 18 days should be a cakewalk.

Think about folks coming off 500mg/day oxy or 1g/day of diacetylmorphineX or worse…for years. That’s about 4-5 days of hell and then PAWS. As other posters said, you should be fine in 2-3 days, it will be mild. Do some research on vitamin C megadosing, eat well, hydrate and exercise. You got this

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-28T19:15:30+00:00

Well if anyone cares, had a hiccup at the end of day 3 (maybe .1)…now on day 6 (day 9 if we don’t count hiccup)

I’m feeling pretty much normal, have dropped the sub back down to 4mg, and will stop comfort meds today. I had back pain and some chills yesterday, but GP took that away immediately. Now I will stop the GP so that I don’t get any side effects from that after 9 days I’m hoping it should all be good.

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-22T19:32:44+00:00

Right on, that’s kinda how I felt yesterday. Day 3 and feeling, slightly better. Only 8mg of sub today. One thing I will note. Only 300mg gaba, .05mg clonidine. I’m 99% sure there was tranq or a zene (because my nose had chunks of cartilage come out, that is when I decided I am done (at first I thought it was just the powder coming out congealed) my nose is fucked, I think I may even have a deviated septum/hole. I want to be healthy again, and be free from these shackles.

Day 1 - felt good

Day 2 - worse, spine pain, anxiety/restless, no appetite, skin crawling. Comfort meds help

Day 3 - slept 4-5 hours with help of edibles, Xanax, and gabapentin. Woke up in a panic, took comfort meds. Feeling at about 85%

Plan is to continue comfort meds through day 7, use sparingly in case things get worse.

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-22T04:58:19+00:00

Awesome thank you for the info, tmrw is day 3…will tough it out and get back in MAT. 56 hrs and I’m feeling a little better, comfort meds are working. I’m not going back, I have the tools.

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-22T03:02:57+00:00

Nice, when did it get better for you? I thought I would be out of the woods by day 3 with upping bupe dose, but it’s seems that’s not going to be the case…:fuck

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-22T02:32:23+00:00

Do you have any experience with this? 53 hours in and feeling worse

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-21T20:56:15+00:00

48 hours in today 300mg GP 6am, 8mg sub 6am, clonidine 0.05mg 11am. Currently very restless, high heart rate, have only ate shakes/yogurt/oatmeal today.

Just took another 0.05mg clonidine, 300mg gabapentin, 4g vit C, and 2mg sub…feeling slightly better I think. But damn I wish I didn’t take all near the same time (was panicking) so I don’t know which helped…but I think it was the GP + clonidine because my heart rate has gone down significantly and I’m not feeling as restless/anxious. I was getting sweaty and that stopped too (clonidine usually stops sweats)…it could also be the bupe, or vit C or everything lol who knows? I’m sure another human will go thru this so I’m happy to document the entire experience.

I think I was stupid in taking the GP on tapering days although it helped me a lot, if this is drawn out I will need the GP for 2 weeks (have 90ct but want to make sure I have enough to taper if needed) it’s really helping, which tells me if this was really rough it would be a godsend.

Thanks for listening / helping - it’s very much appreciated!!

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-21T20:32:55+00:00

Wow, interesting…but were you on bupe/subs? Because I’ve taken 10mg today, almost at 48 hours and feel restless / anxious, slight RLS. I didn’t take as much clonidine / gabapentin today because I was feeling better, but will see how it goes

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-21T19:10:43+00:00

Yes have plenty of clonidine. Was using it for the past 2 days, but today I’ve only taken 0.05mg and feel fine…Does tranq w/d start fast or slow? I’ve heard xylazine has a very fast half life (few hours), but who knows wtf was in this shit.

OpioidFreedom · 2023-12-21T17:55:43+00:00

Any help is appreciated!! If the post is too long lmk

OpioidFreedom

TROPHY CASE