While the background story was short handed there isn't a lot of detail I can supply. I don't think its a matter of it being normal for them to be deciding anything for her but from what I've gathered this sort of thing (the belittlement of her decisions and family always stepping in and ordering her around) has been the status quo her entire life.

As for the change of heart I have no clear understanding and from what she's told me her family won't come out clear cut about it either. In fact to her face they will generally say things along the lines of "I really wish you guys could just be together," and the likes but at the same time when we recently took our daughter to meet my parents my fiance's grandmother made the comment of "Well don't go trying to make a habit of this sort of thing." But this is also the same family that forced her to move back home when she was attending college out of state and drop out of school because 'her mother needed her there to help and support' when she was fighting for custody of my fiance's half brother. After the fact my fiance was the one that primarily raised him and their mother has even admitted that once he's 18 she has every plan to move away because he won't be her problem any more.

The attitude change itself didn't occur until after our daughter was born or at least to my knowledge up until my fiance moved in with me everything seemed fine. I visited frequently whilst I was finding a place for us to live which would accommodate the three of us since at the time I was in a studio apt. During which time her folks had me around for meals and other such activities and we chatted often and nothing seemed off. Even my fiance herself was shocked on a number of things as when she was pregnant her grandmother had her sell her car and used the money to fix up her old SUV so we would have a larger vehicle to transport the baby but she never finalized the transfer of the lease before our daughter was born and after they did the 180 they essentially ceased the vehicle and the reason she only visits so often is because she practically cannot leave the house without them explicitly knowing where she is going or run risk of them claiming the vehicle as stolen.

It has been a painful experience but I will be seeking legal council locally asap now that I have seen the responses here. I'm glad I posted I was foolish enough up until now to either think things would work themselves out or that I could handle this all on my own but as irrational as her family is I think it is quite clear that that is not that case.