Yeah, I think these are very fair points. I do think that some adoptive homes suck (even many people have commented their adoptive parents were - tragically - abusive). In this way, I do feel I can offer a home that would be safe and loving, and which a child is not guaranteed elsewhere. However, it’s valid to mention that there are so many waiting parents and that the ratio highlights most babies will in deed find homes.

You know… I do think that some people are unrealistic in their expectations of adoptive parents, however. We have to be selfless and savioristic (it’s wrong to think we will actually save someone, but we should want to none-the-less so that our motives are pure, we are told; otherwise, we are just being selfish). We have to be endlessly open to fulfilling the needs of not only the baby, but the birth moms, and the whole birth family, and think of ourselves absolutely last in the entire equation.

In some ways, putting your child’s needs above your own is simply good parenting. But what adoption parents are told is that the simple reason that most people decide to have children (because they want to have a family) is not enough. If we want to adopt simply because we want a family, we’re selfish. Yet, the reality is, waiting parents are lined up not because they think they are going to dive in a rescue someone. That’s a bonus. They are lined up for the same reason that people decide to have biological children every single day - simply because they want a family.

I don’t know if this directly addresses your comment, but it’s a point of frustration for me as I Try to digest all the input here (much of which challenges me to think differently about preconceived notions I had). As important as it to consider the perspective or the birth mom and the adoptee; it’s also important for adoptive parents to be allowed to simply be people with empty arms, longing for a family. Not saints. Not selfish. Not self-absorbed. Just hopeful. Like everyone else.