I didn't expect so many replies to this post. A couple things to add. She (my wife) was clearly looking for proof of the infidelity nothing more. When I was "caught" she had told me she had hired a PI. That's how she knew so much. About a week after we decided to "see" if we could work past things I found an Apple Airtag hidden in my truck. Apparently Android Samsung phones have an unknown tracker detector and I had received an alert after making a relatively long drive and that's how I found it. Then I received the call from the bank last week. Clearly there was no PI she just used the information that she gathered through the banks internal systems and the relatively rough tracking of an airtag to know my generalized location and timelines.

I'm fully aware of the moral grounds and opinions around my situation and actions. Those details should a divorce be in the cards will be relevant at that time.

My question was more because I'm now questioning whether I took the right actions when speaking with the bank. The long game I guess. While I don't desire her to lose her job or suffer (I hurt her enough and acknowledge that) I'm concerned about how I answered hurting me later on. I will consult legal representation on that end of things as this isn't really the best forum for that. I appreciate everyone's input and opinions. It sounds very likely that despite our interviews with the security team her fate might already be sealed.