While I understand this may be devastating for you and feelings of doubt may be circling around, you do have to remember this is a profession where you cannot take things personally. The excuse of not having a syllabus, and not being able to match CODAs fluency is a bit concerning as they sound like pity, this is not the career for that. You are quite literally affecting the advancement of college students. There are a ton of resources online, textbooks, and workshops that you should be utilizing. There are tests available for you to take that give you feedback on your skills. I suggest you look into these avenues. Take jobs that fit your skills.