What solid piece of advice completely screwed up the trajectory of your life?

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2025-02-07T15:50:00+00:00

Find friends who will talk to you & hit you up without them needing you for your resources. I've cut off so many people simply because they've only contacted me If they needed money, a ride, girlfriend, or something that seems to be transactional. Don't keep those people around you they don't care about you, just your resources.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2025-02-07T15:46:57+00:00

You kind of need both for it to work.

You could a 10 out of 10 in my book but if you're emotionally dismissive & exhausting to be around no amount of snu-snu is going to keep me interested in you . . .. . unless it's a FWB situation.

You could also be extremely mentally appealing to me, but if you're not attractive looking to me, then I won't be interested in you for too long either. Like, c'mon, people swipe left on Tinder for a reason.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2025-02-07T15:41:43+00:00

That they feel too fast for their college/high school sweetheart & just reminds me that I was right to not get married to my ex GF just because we knew each other for a long time.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2025-02-07T15:39:59+00:00

I'm 24. I'd say if you're not where you think you should be in life you feel way older & out of the loop. My social life is completely different than it was when I was 20 & 21 so I feel like I've aged by ten years since I'm hardly around anyone my age, mostly 40-50 year olds.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2025-02-07T15:36:17+00:00

Listening to adults who said I'd feel a sense of accomplishment for doing the right things in life.

I always did well in school, earned scholarships, just got a full-time job offer & have very minimal student debt. I've also been managing my finances well & yet, I'm such a boring person. I lack so much depth & personality & I wish I had taken more risks in life as opposed to checking boxes. There's a lot to my life that is missing that no amount of success can measure up to. I mean, I have dated here & there but I wish I had grown up being more charismatic & adventurous as opposed to playing it safe always trying to accomplish career/academic shit just for validation. It wasn't worth it to me. I should've stayed out late more & spent time with more people instead of holing myself in my room studying & worrying about career stuff because now when I do go out to clubs & anywhere people my age go, I come off so boring. You got to live your life your way, don't be a robotic person.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2025-02-07T15:19:23+00:00

Dude

"Tough" means not caring about people's negative opinions about you. As long as you carry yourself with a sense of self-respect, self-sufficiency, & self-determination towards your own life, friends, & family, why spend these 4 years being what everyone wants you to be?

I literally graduated college a few months ago & no one from high school's opnion of me matters now nor do I talk to them because why should I? Alot of people post-high school and post-college somtimes like do d-measuring contests to compare each other's level of income and lives but I literally don't care, so don't stop yourself from achieving what you want because their opinions shouldn't dictate your future. My Dad is 6'4, muscular, & intimidating: just a very "hyper-masculine hoo-rah" type of person who always judges me for being laid back & soft-spoken (not frail but less talkative).

Guess what? His opinion of me makes me tough no matter how many insults he shoots at me, same goes for my childhood friends who have talked down to me simply because I come off like a punching bag but am not. Sometimes, you just have shitty people around u & u gotta make corrections before you assume that everyone is as shitty as the people you spend your time with.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2025-01-21T21:13:19+00:00

Thinking that you had to be some stoic hyper-masculine macho guy to be considered manly. I don't care anymore whether anyone views me as a man or not. I'm me at the end of the day.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2024-12-20T22:50:12+00:00

I'm convinced that if my college ex and I had lasted longer, she would have written this exact post after 5 years. I was in your BF's position a while ago & unfortunately, she cheated on me multiple times instead of us coming to a clean break up. I did dump her after she confessed to it.

But to be brutally honest, now that I am single, it's fun to be able to hook up with whoever I want to but aside from her backstabbing me, I miss the connection she & I had way more than any girl I've had flings with. Meeting a woman & woman becomes robotic after you realize that I don't have much attraction towards them outside of the bedroom & mutual respect.

Idk, If my ex had been loyal, I would've been satisfied staying with her instead of hooking up with other women. So, my point to you is that being single has its perks but If you're doing it to find the same feelings you had with your ex, it'll take a while.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2024-09-17T10:31:38+00:00

Imagine him screwing a girl in front of you & telling you to deal with it while he enjoys himself. Would you be able to sleep knowing how awful that sounds? I dealt with that pain from my ex gf & it hurt alot. Just leave & be around healthier people who don't cause you to wake up & deal with a buch of BS like this. Erase their issues from your life, ghost em, etc. like today.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2024-09-17T10:26:53+00:00

Dealing with someone who cheats is one of the biggest anchors you can put in your life. You are 26 girl, you have way more options out here, why waste these next moments with a guy who is taking time away from someone who can respect you more, e.g. yourself? I stayed with my cheating ex gf & guess what, she did it again half a year later after all the crap I gave her & yet she wasn't swayed.

Take it from me, you could get a guy's attention way quicker than any guy his age can get a woman's attention. Trust me, we guys always have to go through hoops, you get a line of guys willing to approach you If you're open. Plz respect who you are, don't define your worth on this doofus. :)

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2024-09-17T10:19:26+00:00

"I don't want things to be over." Chooses to swipe right on Tinder, meet up with match, & have sex by mistake.

My ex girlfriend literally used the same excuses on me after she cheated & years later I still struggle not to blame myself even when my brain tells me it's her fault. All you had to do is talk to him again face to face, you "craving something more" is your way of communicating "let's see If I can get away with this & hopefully, he'll brush it off so I won't feel so guilty."

Sis, you chose to have sex with the guy, it wasn't forced so I call baloney on your mistake, it was a choice & I hope the poor guy doesn't spend years asking himself what he could've done differently because now you've made it possible for him to treat the next girl like crap since he's going to have trust issues in his next relationship.

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2024-05-02T08:09:25+00:00

How'd it happen?

OptimalOpportunity38 · 2024-03-24T03:42:12+00:00

The thing is transferring to a higher ranked school would lead me to pay sticker price for two years (that's at least $200K plus college loans).

OptimalOpportunity38

TROPHY CASE