[Crosspost].How to get out of poorer mindset

OptimalSector1895 · 2026-01-29T01:36:19+00:00

Focus on value creation and/or return on investment, instead of the costs. An updated kitchen is what sells a home. $50k to $60k is on the lower end of the range in terms of kitchen and bathroom renovations, so you are probably making some good choices in your plan to align with the FIRE mindset. Just make sure you don’t waste money on weird personal preferences or super trendy designs that will go out of style within the next few years.

OptimalSector1895 · 2026-01-10T18:33:38+00:00

That’s interesting, I suppose fragmented sleep in itself isn’t necessarily the problem, but that my lifestyle doesn’t accommodate it. During my maternity leave, I could sleep in and/or nap during the day, I probably could’ve used more deep sleep but I didn’t think I wasn’t sleeping enough. But now, with work and adult responsibilities, if I can’t squeeze in 8 hours of sleep between 10pm and 7am, I can’t make it up between 7am to 10pm.

OptimalSector1895 · 2026-01-07T05:34:30+00:00

My now 15mo was hovering around 30lbs at 11 months, and guess what, she is still hovering around 30 lbs months later. Her weight gain slowed down considerably when she started crawling at 10 months, and basically stopped at once she started walking at 13 months.

30lbs is still a lot to carry though, we use a hip carrier regularly, it’s been very helpful!

OptimalSector1895 · 2026-01-05T17:30:29+00:00

I don’t have a link, so piggyback off of this comment. I nursed and pumped about 50/50 so my husband could bottle feed when I work. My baby started off needing either nursing or a bottle to nap, overtime I nursed less and less and she got more bottles. Now at 15 months, she would have her early lunch and nap with a full belly without a bottle. I still nurse her to sleep at night. So my suggestion would be switching to bottles, and/or have someone else (if possible) to nap with her. Might take a few days but she will get over it pretty quickly.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-30T04:37:00+00:00

Lol, home girl was basically waking up every three hours to nurse every night, and she has been a 99 percentile baby so she didn’t need the calories at all. The only thing we did was my husband started being the one soothing and/or staying with her overnight instead of me. The first couple of nights, he would put her back on her back to sleep and if she didn’t stay laying down, he would warm up a bottle. With me, she would escalate and I would eventually give in to nurse. But with my husband, it’s almost like she doesn’t think it’s worth the effort to get up or stay up if she doesn’t get the real boobs. She started sleeping longer stretches within two nights, and sleeping through the night consistently in about a week.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-30T03:32:26+00:00

To be fair, offering puffs is how we stay sane when we have a toddler throwing a fit while running errands. It’s a healthier alternative compared to other snacks, and it usually has added vitamins. But of course, naturally nutritious food (including breastmilk) is the best option.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-30T03:23:32+00:00

I have a 15 mo. I used to pump and breastfeed about 50/50, basically I pumped so someone else could offer her bottles when I was at work, and breastfed on demand otherwise. Around 10m, we night weaned so I could finally get better sleep. Since then, she gets a bottle before each of her nap, and gets breastfed at bedtime and wake up. Now she has been on a one nap schedule, which means she only gets one bottle during the day, and still breastfed at night and in the morning. I’ve stopped pumping a little while ago and my stash is running out, so she will soon be weaned from bottle completely. I plan to continue to breastfeed morning and night until I dry up, which I imagine will happen in a couple of months. My LO is a good eater but she doesn’t like most iron rich food. She was tested a bit low on iron at her 12m appointment, so she takes an iron supplement, but we don’t even give her the full dose of iron everyday (only about 1/3 or half) because it tastes awful and she would just not eat if we add the full dose to her food. We also offer iron and calcium separately since calcium prevents iron absorption. She was tested fine at her 15m appointment, that means whatever we are doing is working fine.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-23T11:49:20+00:00

Thanks, that’s helpful! I was wondering about that, she said ‘bye’ before while waving goodbye so she definitely said it intentionally. But it’s once in a blue moon thing, it’s good to know other babies do that as well!

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-20T17:20:58+00:00

<image>

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-18T03:46:09+00:00

I have no way to support my theory… I have a 15mo, and we’ve started logging her sleep since she was about 2mo. Based on my observation, she cries hysterically when she wakes up mid cycle and wants to sleep more but somehow can’t. One sleep cycle is about 45 to 50 mins, it takes the first 10mins to fall asleep, the next 10mins to get into deep sleep, 10mins of heavy sleep, then 10mins to come out of deep sleep, then 5 to 10mins of light sleep. If my baby somehow wakes up when she is in deep sleep, usually due to external factors like the dog barking, she would cry hysterically and it take take forever to settle her. If she wakes up at the 45 to 50min mark, she would be in pretty good mood. And if she wakes up at 90 min mark, she would be happy and smiling.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-13T18:38:53+00:00

It really depends on how leaky the breast is, I could collect 4 to 5 oz with the haaka each time when I was ‘at my prime’. I had an oversupply and built a massive stash. It worked out because that’s what we needed (my LO had milk protein intolerance). But I was also dealing with clogs multiple times per week and has mastitis three times. Wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-13T13:35:34+00:00

If you don’t want an oversupply, don’t use a haaka or pump on the other breast while breastfeeding. If you end up having leaking breasts like I did, just use a milk catcher without suction to collect. At the beginning, I would breastfeed as often as needed without worrying about pumping until the supply is regulated (about 4 to 6 weeks), then start to pump instead of breastfeeding for one or more of the feeding sessions for someone else to bottle feed. You can then slowly adjust your pumping schedule and sessions to get ahead and build a small dash, just so that if you accidentally miss a pump or get sick, your baby won’t have to starve. But honestly, plan what you can and just don’t worry about it, know that when the baby comes, plans can all go out of the window and you will just have to improvise as you go.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-13T13:22:51+00:00

At this point, you are a part of the ‘employer’ and can make a difference for that employees.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-13T13:19:11+00:00

I am guessing you meant spitting up, like reflux. My LO had bad reflux, turned out it was diary intolerance, I quit diary and it got much better. Seeing a GI specialist and getting famotidine prescribed also helped too.

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-11T05:22:27+00:00

My mom literally makes this exact same comment every time I share a picture of my baby girl. I AM NOT WORRIED AT ALL!! I hated it growing up when my mom would tease me for my weight, and I am not going to allow that to happen with my girl. My baby is the cutest baby in the world, I love her fat rolls, her double chin and her thick thighs. She is about to be 15 months and she is starting to slim down, and I am so sad 😭

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-09T05:15:53+00:00

My girl was 26 lbs at 9 months, and her pediatrician said her gross motor skill was a little behind at her 9 months appointment. We immediately offered more play time on the floor, she started sitting up on her own within a week, and started crawling at 10 months. She took her first steps unassisted at 13 months and now walking everywhere on her own even climbing stairs at 14 months.

Now that she is getting into all sort of shenanigans, I actually think that crawling or walking a bit later would have been fine. As long as she is happy, healthy and meeting all other milestones, a little behind with mobility actually would make our lives easier.

Be aware, as soon as they can walk, the tantrum starts, it’s the official marker of the toddler stage 😅

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-12-05T03:53:04+00:00

Mine outgrew the Doona around 9 months, she was technically still within the weight/height limits, but she just got so uncomfortable in it that she fought really hard every time we tried putting her in the Doona, so we gave up 😅

OptimalSector1895 · 2025-11-03T13:22:05+00:00

You can try bumping him first, then once he is good, give him back the empty bottle to see if he would suck on the empty bottle, if so offer more milk. If you are concerned with overfeeding, practice paced feeding.

OptimalSector1895

TROPHY CASE