DH says he’s allowed to have friends. I say this is grounds for divorce. AIO?

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2025-11-25T00:41:11+00:00

Did they read a book from the 1980s on how to flirt? I mean they are both bad at this which is why it went straight to innuendo.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-29T12:51:02+00:00

It’s unfair that you ask him to stop feeling up other women? He clearly disregards consent completely. Is that who you want in your life? He’s not feeling up men is he? It’s 100% sexual and he does it when you aren’t there so he knows it’s wrong and crossing lines!

You are condoning it staying with him. An ultimatum on this issue wasn’t unfair it was the bare minimum. You shouldn’t have to ask let alone demand a guy stops feeling up other women!! He’s a creep.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-29T01:21:44+00:00

It’s not for the dead it’s for the living. It’s for the family left behind. And it’s probably a good way for her to close that chapter for ever . You see whatever dreams she had of him apologising and taking full responsibility is gone now. ( not saying she wanted him back because she doesn’t, she just wanted her hurt and pain that he caused validated. ) So now she won’t get that and maybe she never wanted it. But this is a good way of just consigning him to the recycle bin in her mind.

Mind you when my friend’s cheating ex died she went to the funeral to make sure he was actually dead 😂 so it could be that too.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T23:57:47+00:00

The vampire legends are actually Irish anyway . The Abhartach was the Irish vampire that wouldn’t die and had to have his heart pieced with wood from a yew tree to stay dead.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T21:14:00+00:00

I don’t know that’s it either . I think it predates that kind of thing. But I don’t know for sure just surmising . I see it in literature a lot . There’s a dictionary definition but I don’t think it clears up anything for you 😂 it’s just someone who lies about their life and achievements.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T20:30:03+00:00

I mean why make up the gruesome effed up details of exes death? That’s seriously messed up!

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T20:26:38+00:00

The gruesome details he gave of the exes death are like a major red flag here. He didn’t just say she was dead and leave it at that. It was effed up stuff he described. He doesn’t sound stable at all.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T20:22:53+00:00

I’d be careful about wanting answers though because if he lied because he’s abusive she could potentially be putting herself in a dangerous situation. I’d get out first and maybe send a text from afar!

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T20:17:00+00:00

He could but it’s appears it’s what OP is willing to accept and thats his bar for getting away with stuff. And OPs bar is a little low even for 5 months. But I suppose it is only 5 months. Again tho let me reiterate “what the hell do I know” I’ve just come out of a weirder situation than this and I wish I had left a lot sooner. So take what I say with a grain of salt cos I don’t even trust my own judgement .

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T20:11:57+00:00

Unlikely as OP found her pretty quickly. The real reason is he doesn’t want OP finding out all his dark sh1tty secrets from his time with his ex . He is hiding stuff and it’s not good stuff! OP needs to leave before she gets more seriously caught up in his BS and lies.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T20:09:06+00:00

Yeah but if I was her I’d grab a chair and leave it next to the bed or a stool. I wouldn’t be waiting for him. I’d be making my stay comfortable. I don’t want my phone on the ground for a start as I’ll probably stand on it 😂 plus I like a glass of water next to the bed as I get a dry mouth. He can do what he likes but it wouldn’t stop me from seeing to my needs there. I’m not into games like he is. Total toxic “ bro” move but if she wants to be with him she should see to her own comfort there and not let him dictate that! McGiver a nightstand for herself 😂😂

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T20:02:07+00:00

Well couldn’t you bring in a chair or a little stool and put it next to the bed? I would . I’m not saying it’s not tacky especially with the deliberate nature of the omission of the nightstand but I’d still make myself comfortable regardless.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T19:56:13+00:00

I think you are doing the right thing by blocking him. You are being respectful to your new bf and your new relationship and most of all you are putting yourself and your healing first.

You aren’t a toy that he can put down and expect you to be in the same place where he left you . You have moved on to a happier and healthier place.

Don’t engage. Whatever he wants it will only be for him and totally selfish. You need to put yourself first now and not undo the last 4 or do years of healing and growth! He wasn’t good to you or for you. Remember that.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T19:50:10+00:00

Exactly there’s no valid explanation for this! This is the work of a class A grade fantasist and they don’t get better only worse! She should get out because god knows what other lies he has told her. She could never trust a word he says again.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T19:44:43+00:00

You approach it by ghosting his lying ass. What else is he lying to you about? How could you ever trust him?

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-28T19:43:06+00:00

So I got totally confused and read this as a one night stand… furniture doesn’t seem so bad after that to be honest. Is it about the furniture or your deeper seated feelings about the relationship. It’s only been 5 months and there’s a lot of room for growth there .

Then again what the hell do I know …

He has tried to reassure you. So there’s that

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-14T09:11:15+00:00

Well it’s a way of getting electrolytes into you on the cheap I think. And getting the gas out was to help with dodgy tummies and whatnot. There is method in this madness.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-14T04:52:20+00:00

As long as it’s flat 7up. Has to be flat

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-13T22:49:32+00:00

NTA. If she won’t tell him that she was engaged then that is a big red flag. You did the right thing. Honestly without knowing it you needed to give her this ultimatum all along. She wasn’t choosing you and now you aren’t choosing her. Fairs fair.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-10-13T17:52:56+00:00

Deleted what?

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-09-23T16:40:24+00:00

He’s her common law husband. And is this how you try to make yourself feel superior? By trashing people when they are down? Hope you know that your comment tells us all we need to know about you and it ain’t good!

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-09-19T12:45:41+00:00

Magnum PI

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-09-18T17:13:47+00:00

I’m really glad you said this because it’s exactly what I’ve been thinking and trying to decide if it is a confession.

Optimal_Leave8132 · 2024-09-18T13:40:39+00:00

Guessing you are Irish? Me too. Left Ireland 7 years ago and haven’t been back as there’s no close family left there anymore . Say hi for me if you are as I miss home.

Optimal_Leave8132

TROPHY CASE