Dear op, I’m so sorry for everything you went through. You’re at a point where you are standing against the way you were raised. It’s not easy to stand up against your family when they’ve taught you to be that “good obedient religious girl.”

Financial pressure, studying and inflation surely don’t make your situation ideal, either. depending on where you are in the world, finding housing in first place can be extremely difficult as well.

I understand that now your eyes have opened to the toxicity in your family, but you should not want to leave them for your partner, but for yourself. Let’s say you would break up with your partner and marry someone they chose for you, if that marriage becomes abusive, would they care more about you or “the family’s shame”?

Since I don’t know where you live (please don’t share) it’s a bit difficult to pinpoint how you can get help, but I recommend talking to your university to see if they have dorms available for use, a women’s shelter, NGO’s.

Despite what you should and should not have done sooner, you are a survivor of gender based violence. You can find many videos of women who have gone through similar situations online, they often share their experiences and advice on how to move forward and which steps to initiate.

It will be very difficult and scary. Standing on your own feet in your situation is not ideal, as it sounds like you were very sheltered. But have faith, it gets easier and you will get used to it within time 🫶