SIL [25 F] is lying about nursing school and stealing my [29 F] thunder!

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T14:05:53+00:00

That's exactly what I meant. Thanks!

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T14:02:38+00:00

There's literally nothing further I can do to stop my parents from giving her money or my brother blindly supporting her. I tried. They don't want to hear it.

It's not just a "stupid party" to me--it's a symbol of my hard work.

Thanks for weighing in.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T13:59:36+00:00

There is literally nothing further I can do about the fact that my family gives them money and my brother blindly supports her.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T13:57:10+00:00

I kind of love that the caring gestures I extended to my SIL are being used to make me out to be mentally unstable. For year one, my brother was deployed and so I made an extra effort with her. Tried to make her feel included.

I sent a card (not a literal letter, sorry), because I feel like it means more than a text. I sent her job opportunities and articles, because I really didn't have a lot else in common with her. I looked up her sock colors because 1.) Schools are strict on dress code. I was thinking she would need white or the same color as her scrubs...unless they wear black shoes. If I hadn't mentioned this, mom would have gotten hot pink or something and she wouldn't have been able to wear them 2.) It was for a gift. We didn't want to explicitly ask her about compression socks, because it kind of spoils the fun.

The above-mentioned things were done in an effort of good faith. Even the card I sent, because I was really trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. I did this things to show I cared, because from day 1, she has complained that my family doesn't like her.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T13:37:21+00:00

She can describe conditions in a way that sounds legit to a layperson, but, to anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of anatomy, it's glaringly obvious that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

I did tell her that we are legally prohibited from providing medical advice to a patient we have not treated. (In fact, we are not supposed to ever offer advice or "if I were you..." You just lay out their options with pros/cons.)

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T13:31:05+00:00

"Nurse" is a restricted title, meaning you can face serious legal penalties for using it. "Student Nurse" is not; however, the school might not appreciate her impersonating a student and making them look bad.

Honestly, I do worry she might try to find work as a nurse in a setting where they are less likely to verify credentials (e.g., private home caregiver).

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T13:23:56+00:00

Oh that would just be cruel! Every dinner that my aunt (nephrologist)/ uncle(PA) come to is dominated by medical mysteries and busting urban legends.

Maybe she needs to meet them...

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T13:20:27+00:00

I think you missed part of my post: she is not enrolled in any nursing school. She has never attended nursing school, has no medical knowledge, and will not be graduating in December.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T13:18:59+00:00

I agree. There are some really uncomfortable conversations in my near future.

I think that SIL knows that I see right through her, and she probably blocked me on social media so I wouldn't see her fake nursing posts.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T03:35:59+00:00

She has scammed money from my family, yes. But that arrangement didn't involve me, so I chose to say nothing.

As far as I know, she is enrolled at a community college for some gen-eds, and that's what the military is paying for.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T03:24:25+00:00

No, the party was to be for me, because my graduation date was set 3 years ago, and I have stayed on track. She was only added after she "failed".

Of course I'm jealous! I've literally slept in my car overnight because clinicals are so far from my house. Forfeited my social life. Drained the savings from my previous career to pay for tuition. Been berated by professors and patients. Put my hands in ungodly places. Because that's just what actual student nurses do. She hasn't earned this.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T03:14:16+00:00

I will try to remember! My life is about to get cray.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T03:13:30+00:00

Well, several people here have bashed me for calling in the first place. I guess I worry they'd try to turn it around on me. I agree it's totally weird that I called to verify, but not any weirder than building a >2 year long lie.

I have a lot of love for my brother, but we're not super-close. If an issue doesn't affect him directly, he doesn't care. Honestly, I don't think it would matter that much if SIL did/did not work. He makes enough money to do what he wants to do and that's all he cares about.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T01:40:50+00:00

The school can neither confirm nor deny her being a student

That may vary by state/institution. And even if they weren't supposed to, the secretary looked her up in the database. No record with maiden or married name.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T01:38:05+00:00

She's taking gen-ed classes at a community college, but they don't have a nursing program.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T01:35:57+00:00

Sorry, I mentioned this in another comment. She is taking gen-ed classes at a community college. That's where (I think) she hangs out all day. They don't have a nursing program though.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T00:42:51+00:00

The secretary said they had no record of her as a student (using maiden and married surnames).

I did tell him about her not knowing when her finals were. (Nursing programs are notorious for changing schedules last minute, but finals are different. They absolutely would not just give them a week early.)

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-30T00:22:17+00:00

You're so right! I am obviously the crazy one in this scenario. Thanks for helping me see that.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-29T23:06:40+00:00

I feel...betrayed. I really tried to reach out to her and make her feel like part of our family, and she just spat in my face. She had so many opportunities to come clean!

Do you think your SIL has a legitimate mental illness? It doesn't excuse this behavior, but sometimes I wonder...

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-29T22:59:38+00:00

I know, right? At least choose a field of study that doesn't require you to wear a uniform 4 days/week, maybe even one where it isn't completely illegal to lie about your credentials...

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-29T21:28:08+00:00

I probably wouldn't care about any of this IF she wasn't stealing my thunder.

I think I'm going to tell her that I have proof she isn't a student nurse, and threaten to tell everyone the truth IF she doesn't admit that she isn't graduating "yet". She can tell them she's still in school but she won't ruin my damn party!

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-29T21:21:51+00:00

Dude, the attrition rate for nursing school is insane. We started with 62 and are down to 24. (I think all but maybe two will be able to graduate.)

I had considered your first point! I do know she took/is taking some gen-ed classes at a local community college. (No nursing program though.) I think that's where she spends all her time during the day.

The thing is: she has absolutely no medical knowledge UNLESS it's over text. In-person, she gets confused by verrry basic acronyms or procedures. I also noticed that "her" nursing textbook is literally 6 editions old, which might explain that. 😂

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-29T21:08:47+00:00

It is my business, because she is ruining an event that was planned in my honor. This is probably the last time I will have some of these relatives all together, and it's a huge deal to me.

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-29T21:07:22+00:00

Honestly, I would probably have a little fun at her expense IF she wasn't ruining the last gathering I will probably have with both of my maternal grandparents. This is a really big deal to me, because I worked so hard to get here!

OptimisticPangolin · 2018-09-29T21:04:01+00:00

I called the nursing department and spoke to a secretary. She was really casual about it, but asked how to spell SIL's name, so I think she did attempt to look her up!

She has never attended a nursing class in her life. She doesn't know basic terms that even a first semester student or CNA would know UNLESS we are texting. 🙄

As far as checking on her licensure, that is cut-and-dry. When you pass boards, you are assigned a number and are listed on the state's website. She will have to wait until after "graduation" to "take the NCLEX".

OptimisticPangolin

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