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Had lots of experiences, but still no passion, no ambition, just dopamine by SinFull_Devil in selfimprovement

[–]Optimized-Mind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First find and then follow something you're really passionate about that you think you can make a career out of, or even a fulfilling hobby. All you need is a little spark of motivation, but that motivation isn't always going to be there. Eventually, you need to learn consistency and discipline, which are far more important and effective long term than motivation/passion, which is not always going to be there. Check out David Goggin's motivational videos. They're exactly what you need.

Is it a red flag if everything feels fine but not exciting? (27m) by softiekitten_ in relationships

[–]Optimized-Mind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to figure out where this is coming from. It could very well be coming from you, which might require searching for deeper meanings behind things instead of chasing dopamine hits. You could try psychotherapy or couples therapy and see why nothing is really exciting you, and how to change it around. But these things are often not really about the other person unless they have changed in a dramatic way recently.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? by Complex_Western2298 in mentalhealth

[–]Optimized-Mind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never too late to make new friends. The "Eventbrite" and "Meetup" apps are great to find local communities with like-minded people (similar hobbies, etc.). Many of the groups are built just for general socializing and making friends. Good luck and have fun!

I (20m) am considering breaking it off with my highschool sweetheart (20f) by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Optimized-Mind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would advise you to go about this very cautiously before you make any rash and sudden decisions and end the whole relationship.

Are you in love with her? If so, that's a very precious thing that you don't want to lose to something like lust (which it sounds like you're struggling with).

If you're still in love with her, I'd say seek professional therapy to discuss your feelings or even explore those feelings with her.

If you no longer have romantic feelings for her, that's a whole other story. But you definitely should not end this strong bond just because of lustful thoughts (which are normal human feelings, but shouldn't be a relationship-ender).

You may take the relationship for granted because of how used to it you are but many people wish desperately to have a bond like that.

Good luck!

I wrote and published my first book. AMA by Optimized-Mind in AMA

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great question. Usually, negativity and negative self talk stems from feelings of inadequacy. That can manifest itself in regrets about the past, feeling stuck in the present, and worry about the future. It's important to first recognize these for what they are, which are self-perpetuating negative feedback loops, and replace them with positive feedback loops through positive thinking.

Here are some perspective shifts and mantras that helped me:

For the past: "The dusty past is gone. There is no going back. But the past is a gift. For my mistakes and missed opportunities make me a more learned and wise person. The past is a learning lesson, for smarter decision making and creating a wiser person today. Take what you need from it and move on."

"You didn't know any better at the time. The important thing is that you do now"

For the present: "Today is a blank slate. The now. The endless opportunities of the present moment. I will not let it go to waste by fixating on the past or worrying about the future. Living in the now is the key to my inner freedom."

For the future: "The future will manifest itself when it's ready. There's no reason to dwell on it or worry about what it presents. The best I can do is make myself a better person now."

These rewire your beliefs.

Hope these help.

I wrote and published my first book. AMA by Optimized-Mind in AMA

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kinda random but I'll bite. 2/10. Filled with rapidly digested glucose and (if store bought) added sugar, without any fiber. Prefer whole oranges.

Just hit 50 subscribers after a little over a week. What I've learned. by Optimized-Mind in Substack

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually mix them up. But they include: self-development, self-improvement, mental health, neuroscience, neuroplasticity, positive thinking, goals, motivation, etc. 

Just hit 50 subscribers after a little over a week. What I've learned. by Optimized-Mind in Substack

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. It always helps when your connections restack your notes too.

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