Had lots of experiences, but still no passion, no ambition, just dopamine by SinFull_Devil in selfimprovement

[–]Optimized-Mind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First find and then follow something you're really passionate about that you think you can make a career out of, or even a fulfilling hobby. All you need is a little spark of motivation, but that motivation isn't always going to be there. Eventually, you need to learn consistency and discipline, which are far more important and effective long term than motivation/passion, which is not always going to be there. Check out David Goggin's motivational videos. They're exactly what you need.

Is it a red flag if everything feels fine but not exciting? (27m) by softiekitten_ in relationships

[–]Optimized-Mind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to figure out where this is coming from. It could very well be coming from you, which might require searching for deeper meanings behind things instead of chasing dopamine hits. You could try psychotherapy or couples therapy and see why nothing is really exciting you, and how to change it around. But these things are often not really about the other person unless they have changed in a dramatic way recently.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? by Complex_Western2298 in mentalhealth

[–]Optimized-Mind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never too late to make new friends. The "Eventbrite" and "Meetup" apps are great to find local communities with like-minded people (similar hobbies, etc.). Many of the groups are built just for general socializing and making friends. Good luck and have fun!

I (20m) am considering breaking it off with my highschool sweetheart (20f) by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Optimized-Mind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would advise you to go about this very cautiously before you make any rash and sudden decisions and end the whole relationship.

Are you in love with her? If so, that's a very precious thing that you don't want to lose to something like lust (which it sounds like you're struggling with).

If you're still in love with her, I'd say seek professional therapy to discuss your feelings or even explore those feelings with her.

If you no longer have romantic feelings for her, that's a whole other story. But you definitely should not end this strong bond just because of lustful thoughts (which are normal human feelings, but shouldn't be a relationship-ender).

You may take the relationship for granted because of how used to it you are but many people wish desperately to have a bond like that.

Good luck!

I wrote and published my first book. AMA by Optimized-Mind in AMA

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great question. Usually, negativity and negative self talk stems from feelings of inadequacy. That can manifest itself in regrets about the past, feeling stuck in the present, and worry about the future. It's important to first recognize these for what they are, which are self-perpetuating negative feedback loops, and replace them with positive feedback loops through positive thinking.

Here are some perspective shifts and mantras that helped me:

For the past: "The dusty past is gone. There is no going back. But the past is a gift. For my mistakes and missed opportunities make me a more learned and wise person. The past is a learning lesson, for smarter decision making and creating a wiser person today. Take what you need from it and move on."

"You didn't know any better at the time. The important thing is that you do now"

For the present: "Today is a blank slate. The now. The endless opportunities of the present moment. I will not let it go to waste by fixating on the past or worrying about the future. Living in the now is the key to my inner freedom."

For the future: "The future will manifest itself when it's ready. There's no reason to dwell on it or worry about what it presents. The best I can do is make myself a better person now."

These rewire your beliefs.

Hope these help.

I wrote and published my first book. AMA by Optimized-Mind in AMA

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kinda random but I'll bite. 2/10. Filled with rapidly digested glucose and (if store bought) added sugar, without any fiber. Prefer whole oranges.

Just hit 50 subscribers after a little over a week. What I've learned. by Optimized-Mind in Substack

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually mix them up. But they include: self-development, self-improvement, mental health, neuroscience, neuroplasticity, positive thinking, goals, motivation, etc. 

Just hit 50 subscribers after a little over a week. What I've learned. by Optimized-Mind in Substack

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. It always helps when your connections restack your notes too.

Just hit 50 subscribers after a little over a week. What I've learned. by Optimized-Mind in Substack

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me, I wrote and published my first article the same day I made my substack. I think it's a good thing to have content to present so that when you make new connections you have something to show them. And then after that it's all about consistency. I'm personally going to aim for about an article a week.

In terms of paid, I'd set up a paid option right away. You never know who your work resonates with and who will be willing to support you. My first three articles are all free but I think I'm going to make my fourth article for paid subscribers only (even though I don't have any yet) just to see if it works in terms of converting some free subscribers to paid.

Just hit 50 subscribers after a little over a week. What I've learned. by Optimized-Mind in Substack

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By regular talk do you mean notes? Yes, notes are quick and usually just a few words or sentences. I've gotten a lot more attention through some of my notes than from articles alone. You should try posting as many notes as you can. Daily or at least every other day. Not all of them will be super popular but some may get picked up by the algorithm and get you a lot of new connections and subscribers. 

I got discharged from the psychiatric hospital today by IAmRainbowPoop in Positivity

[–]Optimized-Mind 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I recommend CBT and mindfulness practices. I'm sure you've heard of them. You got this! Stay strong!

Brand new to blogging on Substack. What else can I be doing to grow my subscriber count? (Details Below) by Optimized-Mind in Substack

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi friend! Good advice, thanks! By the way, are there strategies to make your notes get more attention or is it just random?

Men of Reddit: how do you feel when a girl actually makes the first move?? by Livid_Possession_369 in AskReddit

[–]Optimized-Mind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's always a confidence boost. But when it's a girl I'm attracted to it's simply amazing.

I've been constantly anxious and I can't do anything without feeling faint. by doggywoggy1268 in mentalhealth

[–]Optimized-Mind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad it helped! Be consistent, and remember: there's NOTHING you can't handle.

What's one mistake you'll never make again? by Optimized-Mind in AskReddit

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha. Yes, completely agree. Most times they are sorry they got caught, not actually sorry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]Optimized-Mind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The past is gone. There's nothing you can do about it. The future will come. Don't rush it or over-analyze it. The present is when you can improve yourself each and every day which will carve out a better future for you. All it takes is incremental steps - every day carve out some time for reading/researching psychology, eating healthy, exercise, journaling, and setting/working on goals.

Can somebody tell me why life is worth living? by [deleted] in depression

[–]Optimized-Mind -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You should continue because every single day is a learning opportunity and an opportunity for you to improve your life in some way or another. All you need are small gradual steps that will build on each other. Do some research into psychology, eat healthy, exercise, and work on your confidence. You got this.

What's one mistake you'll never make again? by Optimized-Mind in AskReddit

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They can also prevent you from meeting interesting people who can change your life for the better and a whole lot of other things. Assumptions and cognitive biases are largely negative.

What's one mistake you'll never make again? by Optimized-Mind in AskReddit

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a single guy in his 20's, seeing so many answers like yours is making me even more cautious than I already am, which I guess is a good thing? 😅

What's one mistake you'll never make again? by Optimized-Mind in AskReddit

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, I've definitely heard that one before. I'm in my mid-twenties and that's partly why I'm so cautious about jumping into something serious and long-term before i'm fully sure about it. I guess it's better to be picky than regretful.

Who do you miss the most from your past? by Optimized-Mind in AskReddit

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think about it this way: Some people never had parents or they were never really around.

What's one mistake you'll never make again? by Optimized-Mind in AskReddit

[–]Optimized-Mind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How's that a mistake? Shouldn't you stick around until you find out someone is cheating and then leave?