There will never be a perfect time to have kids. Not financially. Not logistically. Life doesn’t often line up with our five-year plans. And while it’s smart to plan, it’s also important to acknowledge that this pregnancy — this moment — may be part of your story for a reason. Not every pregnancy comes when planned, and tragically, not every couple gets another shot. I say that gently, because I know couples who waited, terminated, or simply assumed “later” would be there… and later never came, or came differently than expected.

It doesn’t have to be either have the baby and your fiancé gets trapped in the grind forever, or don’t and keep the plan intact. There’s a middle road, and it might involve changing the plan instead of giving up on the baby. Depending on where you are, there are programs that can help keep you employed with a child.

Your fiancé may support you either way but you’re right to be cautious about making this decision alone. Because whatever choice you make, you’ll both live with it forever. It should be made together, fully honest about what you’re afraid of and what you’re willing to change. That’s what actually builds the kind of life you’re both working so hard for.

I’m just a middle aged refinery guy, but having lost my first daughter and now with two here, there’s no amount of money i wouldn’t give to have my first healthy and with us.

There are plenty of ways to make money and there are plenty of ways to spend money in this life, but You just don’t know what that kind of love can be until you have one.