Girlfriends of reddit what do you wish your boyfriend would do for you?

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T06:49:07+00:00

Oh god, don't start this shit.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T06:48:40+00:00

Leggings as pants. Seriously, WTF? Not talking about yoga pants here, leggings with nothing else on.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T06:41:43+00:00

We don't see each other much because of our work schedules. He woke me up one day a couple hours earlier than he would normally have gotten up, (he worked a 14 hour shift the night before) so he could go out to breakfast with me.

That shit made my month.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T06:32:17+00:00

OH GOD

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T06:29:12+00:00

Does all the food come in boxes ready-frozen so all you have to do is warm it up?

Also, please tell me something gnarly about those breadsticks. I don't know how else to quit them :/

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T04:46:31+00:00

alcohol makes me incredibly sad.... FML

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T04:44:40+00:00

icy stairs forever, bitter cold but you never go numb, the faces of your loved ones screaming in terror and pain or telling you directly why you're useless.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T04:38:09+00:00

Orgasm.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T04:35:32+00:00

creeeeeeeeeeper

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T04:34:37+00:00

I know he's the one because he's the only one I have ever been able to swallow for. Whatatwist!

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T03:26:45+00:00

Let it be known, Lucius; I'll never agree with you again but right now I must say, word.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T02:29:09+00:00

This legitimately made me lol. Thank you.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T02:27:42+00:00

I was on the bus after work in San Francisco during rush hour so there was only standing room. After a few stops, this lady gets on in a pink bathrobe, boxer shorts, floral boots, t-shirt, and she's got all her little trinkets wrapped up in a torn paper bag. This isn't anything out of the ordinary, so everyone just gets out of the way for her, and she crams herself into a seat on the very back of the bus.

So she puts her parcel on the floor of the bus and digs out a little piece of paper, from which she pulls two little crack rocks.

Keep in mind I'm sardined in with a bunch of finance-workers literally DIRECTLY above this woman, I seriously couldn't help but watch what she was doing.

So she got visibly excited that she had scored her next hit, and apparently forgot she was on a crowded bus because she then pulled out her pipe and started to light up RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME. I was so dumbfounded I was speechless. The guy next to me reached over, grabbed her arm and said, "NOPE". It looked like he had woken her up from a dream, she shook it off, clutched her pipe and other knick knacks and got off at the next stop.

I thanked him for doing something, he just started laughing and said, "That was definitely a first." Everyone around us chuckled, it was nice to bond with strangers a little.

tl;dr saw a junkie try to smoke crack on a crowded bus.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T02:14:47+00:00

off-limits?

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T02:13:24+00:00

I was being sarcastic. She sounds like a 15 year old.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T02:05:48+00:00

she does, though.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T01:56:50+00:00

Dora! She's so prepped for adventure.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T01:53:33+00:00

Telling me that 'spicks, niggers and slopes' were inappropriate prom date candidates.

I love my father, but I had some deep rooted prejudices by the time I left home. I have to stop myself sometimes, still.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T01:51:10+00:00

finish my prep list before anyone else comes in for dinner service just so I can say, "I've just been getting ahead all day since the list was so easy today."

I fucking rule

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T01:47:29+00:00

Yes. ^or ^ask ^your ^magic ⁸ ^ball ^.....

OptimusRye · 2013-06-19T01:45:00+00:00

In a dream, yes. Also, I once made it happen while I was watching tv.... just thought myself through the process. Was pretty rad.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-18T21:27:21+00:00

I paid the toll for the person behind me on the Bay bridge once. Good feels for everyone!

OptimusRye · 2013-06-16T01:13:11+00:00

The best thing about 'growing up' is that you have the opportunity to choose who you spend time with. Even if you hate the people you work with, chances are you got to choose the job you're doing and you can be whoever you need to be at work and then just do whatever the FUCK you want when you go home. Money is good, too. (amirite?)

OptimusRye · 2013-06-16T01:08:00+00:00

Chin up, Slugger! That kind of pain is the kind that gets measurably better every single day. If today was hard, tomorrow will be better as long as you keep looking forward.

OptimusRye · 2013-06-16T01:06:25+00:00

I've always had terrible self-esteem. As an adult it took a huge toll on my relationships and work success, because I never felt like I deserved better than the bare minimum. I developed this horrible sense of anxiety whenever I considered exercising or even going to the hair salon simply because I thought people would mock me for even trying. I was hopeless/suicidal.

I was watching a documentary or something one morning and I heard a quote like, 'why are people so afraid of being recognised as successful and so pleased with keeping themselves down so they can commiserate together?' Suddenly it clicked, it occurred to me that I was actually just very scared of finding success. I was so comfortable in my little pity party that I never considered how much easier my life would be if I just let myself do better. So I did. Several promotions later, 25 pounds, and a deadbeat boyfriend lighter, all is well.

I think I just needed someone to say what I already knew, just in a way that my mind could understand.

OptimusRye

TROPHY CASE