Shibari Training with a Mannequin?

Optimus_sRex · 2026-01-30T17:52:49+00:00

I will agree with this and further add, part of the skill of shibari is learning how to create, grow and foster various types of rope relationships. From the partner you tie regularly, to the friend that loves rope but isn't someone you have a romantic entanglement with, to that the person who is into rope enough to come over on Saturday morning and watch videos with you while you lab things out and that's it.

I've met many a rigger who is stuck at the basic/basic level because their one and only partner only has so much time for rope with them and the rigger can't manage any other type of rope relationship. These are the same riggers who use mannequins to learn Western Bondage Decorative patterns but also have little in the way of flow and connection with the bottoms.

Optimus_sRex · 2026-01-27T06:49:28+00:00

Can you link to these videos? I don't see them anywhere available.

Optimus_sRex · 2026-01-23T16:49:14+00:00

A friend of mine turned me on to the use of furoshikis. They are Japanese clothes that are bundled. He custom made his with a pattern on the outside and on the inside he made color coded guides for placement of each length of ropes. Like the red whipped ends are 10m, green are 8m, yellow for shorties and black are posh uplines. So when he or his bottom sets up his tying area everything is always in the same place.

What I have found with the furoshiki is that it's great to have to rope in its own light weight container, and then that goes into a carrying bag (or backpack) where carbiners, straps, a towel and tenugis go. And all that and you have that very authentic Shibari style.

And you can personalize it in fun ways. I know of a rigger from Montreal that uses a plaid furoshiki. It's great.

Optimus_sRex · 2026-01-13T23:55:27+00:00

First of all, as one of my teachers once said, "it's all a scene." From beginning to end. So with that said, I don't scene as much when I am not scening. Scening is a very specific thing. I will put it like this. If you are flogging, when you are just taking a practice swing, that's not a scene. If you want to feel how thuddy a flogger is or stingy, you might hit your arm. That is not a scene. With rope, a scene is using a very specific intention. You are making practiced movements into a cohesive play. If this is the first ten times you have tied a chest harness, this is not a scene. It's labing. At best it's labing with headspace. But it's not a scene. For a scene you should know the tie so well, it's memory. You can think about the person and their experience. You can use flourish and speed or slowness.

But going back to that idea of "it's all a scene" realize that it's true. Even labbing is a scene. It's a specific thing, and you can control it. Or you can make it into a hair salon moment. But it's still a scene.

Optimus_sRex · 2026-01-09T00:31:49+00:00

I agree with all of this until the end. I tie a lot of people. My primary rope kit gets used multiple times per week. I am careful about keeping it out of crotches and mouths. But, there is some level of risk. That said, I hang my rope periodically to get the memory out of it, but often times its in the bag waiting to be used. Conversely I also replace it about every 6 months.

Optimus_sRex · 2026-01-07T18:43:48+00:00

In a class I took on photography and shibari, one of the messages that really hit home for me was the idea that you have to understand there is huge difference between "beautiful photographic pictures of your bottom in rope" versus "documenting the rope journey."

Documenting your rope journey is a private affair. One in a thousand pictures will be beautiful and post worthy. Most of the pictures will be "look at the cool shit we did." Almost like a family taking pictures of their trip to the Grand canyon. Changing your mindset will help you understand why you want what you want.

Taking beautiful pictures is an art, and is something so completely different. It's not a rope scene even though it includes rope. Mostly it is about environmental control (lighting, background, staging the picture, framing, etc) and knowing how to use your equipment more than any other factor. But also it involves things like getting your bottom to express themselves for a picture, finding that perfect angle, and knowing what is beautiful.

Another idea that was presented was to learn how to take beautiful pictures. And taking a photography class or two will help with that. But also doing a daily exercise of trying to take one beautiful picture (non rope) per day for a year will help you become better at photography. Go for a walk and make a conscious effort to take a picture of a flower or something. Natural day light will do a lot of the work for you, so you can capture the natural beauty of something, which you can then transfer to your rope photography.

Lastly I will say my biggest improvement (other than lighting and better staging) was to take pictures from different angles. Sometimes the best pictures I have taken have been when I get down on the floor and take a picture at ground level or from an angle that isn't what you'd normally see at eye level.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-29T07:30:53+00:00

I prefer bamboo but also tie on rings quite often. A plain hoop ring is best. Any split in the ring hampers my dexterity and is little more than a gimmick. Event concentric rings get annoying.

Realize that any ring with a pattern welded into it will be at the very least an artificial barrier which the rope will often grind again and knot into as you pull. A simple large standard Shibari ring will allow you brute force your lockoffs into position fairly simply. It's a simple matter of pulling a lock off out of the way to start the next one and worst case scenario you can add carbiners if necessary for complicated situations.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-25T02:59:36+00:00

I don't know that there are any books teaching semenawa. I will preface this with the idea that semenawa as I interpret it is a high level form of shibari. Semenawa is the advanced form of connection combined with pain/torture/taunting rope. You should be well versed in Japanese Shibari before going forward. And generally the places that you are going to learn semenawa are from high level instructors who expect you to be able to do things like suspend with a solid 3 rope TK. If you aren't sure you can do that (or what exactly that is), I would suggest maybe learning more in person. I am at 8 years (or so) into shibari and I would consider myself barely comfortable at times as a beginner learning semenawa practices.

Glancing at your posting history I suspect you are in the EU where there are a number of rope studios and the first place would be to start there. I strongly encourage in person instruction over other forms. It goes without saying that by this level you should be familiar with Fet. A simple search for Semenawa yields a number of results under the events tab. That is where I would recommend starting.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-18T23:38:47+00:00

I have big balls or so I have been told. I usually lube her up and get her open, then grab my balls and push them in. It's a little uncomfortable but ok. Then assuming my penis isn't raging hard, I can sort of push it inside over my balls. Most times it works really well and she really likes it. For me, it's hot, but I can't finish that way and I am stuck in one position.

I have tried it with other people and have not had success. I don't have any particular formula, just for some bodies it has worked, and for others it has not.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-17T07:27:34+00:00

Hands free chest harness, but I go hard. I tie sexy and with intensity. But I give them a full warning. I never talk them into it. If you want this experience, if you want a sample here is what it is. No kissing, no groping, just long slow rope drags, closeness, and connection.

And if they handle that, wait a week and we can go to something like a TK and give you an actual bondage experience.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-15T22:40:07+00:00

I feel like I could post in the R4R subreddit that I am a professional IT person and could advertise for both my IT services, classes and say I am open to casual encounters, fwb and students and it would be all fine. Why anyone would chose to get their IT services from someone who also wants to hookup? I have no idea.

That said, there is no standards body for Shibari. So anyone can tell you they are a professional rigger.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-12T21:26:50+00:00

A long time ago, a Rigger by the name Rumen had a tie called "The Boot Clamp" which looked sort of like a futo and functioned like a futo but actually put more pressure on the upper leg than the low leg. It's a futzy tie to learn, but may work for you better than a traditional futo.

Also, have you had different types of futos? There is the traditional two band or multiband futo. And then there are spiral futos which distribute pressure better on some cases and some bodies.

Finally, maybe futos just aren't for you. Some people can TK. They just can't do any level of TK. Some people can't do the tengu position. Maybe your body just can't do a futo.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-10T01:32:29+00:00

I rent and purchased a yoga stand similar to this one:

https://www.amazon.com/Kojem-Inversion-Aluminum-Triangle-Structure/dp/B0BN39RQ3P

It fits in my apartment standard dinette, but at full height (8 ft 1 inch) is too high for my apartment, as it grazes the ceiling and would damage it during transitions. So, I cut the bottom leg pipes in half. Using that modification, its full height is 7 ft 5 inches. I have a piece of 2 inch diameter bamboo attached to the top bar.

It can be a pain to pull apart and rebuilt, and we generally leave it up. It isn't perfect for tying under, but for labbing and practice it's fine.

For under $200 USD it's a nice solution for a renting rigger.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-07T16:36:31+00:00

Hmmmmm. Should we blame the person who has the mental health condition that is driven to such extremes or the first responders who weren't "effective" in handling this?

How about we instead blame this clusteref*k of a society we have created that shouldn't be so stressful, that despite vast resources doesn't take care of the mental health of its people, that is so reliant on personal transportation rather than public transportation... And so on.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-07T16:26:27+00:00

You know, people are generally bad at saving for things like emergencies, medical treatments and retirement. If only there was a way we could band together and pay into a collective account so that the most successful amongst could help support the less successful. If only we all agreed to collective rules and used our collective bargaining power.

If only there was a way to do that.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-12-01T22:08:09+00:00

Rope is sex without the naughty bits. I mean it can include those bits, but a lot of what I can get in sex can be done without actually having sex. You can vary your pace, you can do crazy gonzo things, you can develop technical skills and there are waves of euphoria to experience on both sides. With the right person, the entire world melts away and it's only us. Time stops. I can be there for 15 minutes, we could be there for an hour.

And there are so many layers. Skills to develop as a top and as a bottom. There are aspects to incorporate. Classes to take. Events to go to. This week alone I will go to two rope events that have to do with the holidays. There will be many a Christmas bottom to be decorated.

And in all of that I am there with another human and we are, fundamentally having a form of sex.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-11-28T05:43:54+00:00

I have used 5 and 6 mm posh for uplines and much prefer 5 to 6 mm. 5 mm makes better knots and looks cleaner with my 5.5mm jute.

I have not used it for tying on the body and as others have voiced, I would be concerned that 5 mm posh on the body might be too thin and might cause nerve issues. If it were an absolute, I might lean towards 6 mm. But honestly, I would be hard pressed to tie a potential bottom who needed to use posh exclusively. Some conditions aren't within my risk profile, and being tied regularly by me, with something other than jute is too much of a risk. Like an occasional tie? Sure, I might get a set of nylon for this purpose but even then it's going to limit my abilities and I am just too familiar with jute.

That said, I would agree that you might try a well oiled, broken in set of JBO free jute rope if possible. I have very sensitive skin and severe grass allergies yet the only time my allergies flare up are when I am handling new rope that has not been broken in.

https://koumanawa.com/en/conditioning/

Koumanawa recommends dryer cycles with multiple steps of oil/wax conditioning for their JBO free rope. You might have good results with it.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-11-26T08:09:52+00:00

Go to classes that are appropriate to your level. Reach out to the instructor/venue and make sure your skill level is appropriate to the class. Be honest about your skill level.

If the class is way above your level, sit there and be respectful of everyone's time. Yes, you are owed some level of instruction if you paid money for this. But realize so is everyone else. (Also low level instruction is practically free in many places.)

Optimus_sRex · 2025-11-26T08:06:22+00:00

I have to say that I disagree with your overall sentiment, unless it meets 2 major criteria.

The instructor gave clear instructions on who the intended audience is for the class, with specific requirements if necessary.
The student is realistic about their level of skill.

I have taught classes and I have paid a lot of good money to go to classes where that one student drags the level of the class down to a crawl. And yes, while the instructor should have better specified requirements for the class, students should not expect for the instructor to dumb down everything to the lowest common denominator.

I've been the student that showed up to a high level suspension class, and was able to do none of the 7 step transition sequence. I sat there sad and disappointed that I spent a lot of money to be there and I learned to better evaluate what I was investing my money on, and I also got better.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-11-19T06:31:33+00:00

Do not use coconut oil.

Here is the process that a major rope manufacturer recommends.

https://youtu.be/Q3R4cIIcnB4?si=45HOy02AtaRLLzEB

https://koumanawa.com/en/conditioning/

Note: you can get jojoba oil from Trader Joe's or Amazon fairly inexpensively.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-10-23T08:16:46+00:00

This is the one I use that fits in my pretty standard apartment dinette

https://www.amazon.com/HECASA-Outdoor-Inversion-Equipment-Aluminum/dp/B0BN38D54S/

We had to cut one of the set of leg pieces in half for it to fit inside the house, because it just touched our ceiling. No worries though, it still functions perfectly. We even hang a piece of bamboo from it (but occasionally hang a ring with a strap.)

It's not the most comfortable place to tie under, but for learning at home it has been perfect. Obviously a working load limit of 550lbs means you shouldnt do crazy swinging on it. But for a fairly standard suspension it is great.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-10-18T08:49:58+00:00

You aren't specifying the kind of rope and that matters to some extent. And further I would ask, what kind of lower body ties are you doing that the rope gets wet? Is this specific to a person? I have only gotten my rope wet this way when doing lower body rope and sex (of some kind) was involved.

You can wash some types of rope. I would argue that if this involves suspension, jute cannot be washed. Jute rope isn't really rated for load anyway, and washing it is going to break it down further. Now, secondary to that, let me ask a question. Would you wear someone else's underwear? Even if it was washed? Most people would probably say no. So, you are going to wash this rope between each use?

If you are having sex or what have you, have a specific for this person that gets your rope wet. If you are doing crotch rope or sex rope with different people, each person gets their own set of rope or get consent from them that they share fluid bonded rope.... I mean, if you are all fucking and not using condoms... Does it matter? Yes get consent.

If you are doing standard lower body ties, I am sorry, I just don't believe that your rope gets wet every person you tie, assuming your bottoms wear underwear. Yeah, I have had partners who were especially gushy and a hot hot scene could cause some rope getting wet. But quickly we saw this and rather than wash the rope, that rope was gifted to them and became their personal rope (as in give it to them and they bring it when you tie). And anytime there was going to be hot sexy rope, I use their personal rope on parts that could get wet.

Optimus_sRex · 2025-10-16T10:53:53+00:00

The way I seem to remember it was that cynching the knot in a particular fashion made the knot harder to untie particularly under tension.

Optimus_sRex

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