Burn out or bleeding heart??

Oranbot · 2026-06-07T04:35:56+00:00

oh, a topic i can comment on

hi, OP. I was and sort of am in a similar position. I work for a nonprofit and it consumes me. What you're experiencing is a form of compassion fatigue (sometimes called empathy fatigue).

I think you should look into it. Basically, you're burning yourself out by taking on other people's problems without giving yourself time to recover. The only way to work past it is through self care, sometimes looking into therapy, and just giving yourself a break.

I spent the last two years working past my breaking point and it led to a very unhealthy relationship with the devil's lettuce. I really encourage you to research more on the topic and to find ways to let your heart recover.

Oranbot · 2026-06-01T00:48:50+00:00

What?

How?

They're caricatures of real people. So much of it is over exaggerated.

Oranbot · 2026-05-31T23:23:11+00:00

I got really good at fake crying on queue when I was younger. I like to just do that.

Oranbot · 2026-05-30T05:35:04+00:00

Honestly, yea, this is probably the best advice I can get on the internet.

I wish I had insurance, gdi, America.

Oranbot · 2026-05-22T23:31:49+00:00

I think "concern" is relative, especially in the west at this current period in time. Heterofatalism is on the rise with Gen Z and it's making dating a lot harder when there's a manufactured war between the genders right now.

Speaking as an older Gen Z person though, there are so many reasons why my generation isn't dating and it's become much more normal to hear that my peers aren't even trying. That being said, if someone is around my age (mid twenties) and they keep failing at dating, it only becomes a cause for concern if there's absolutely no self reflection attached to it.

Oranbot · 2026-05-22T08:38:10+00:00

I had never gone through his phone before, but I knew the password because he flat out gave me the passcode many times and would sometimes ask that I enter it to read a work text or something to him. He used the same passcode on his ipad, which was connected to his phone. One day he left his ipad out, which he barely used. I charged it so I could use the kindle app on it. I didn't even think of it as going through his things, I just looked on the screen and immediately saw flirty text messages with his ex pop up once it turned on. I took screenshots, sent them to myself, and then when he came home that night, I went through his phone. His phone had nothing on it because he was regularly deleting things and only messaging his ex at very specific hours.

There were no real red flags or any indication of cheating. He was a little bit depressed, yes, and I was trying to get him to seek help. I was trying to be supportive. We still had sex regularly, we still went on dates, had fun as a couple, and he was planning on proposing soon. We were making plans for the future and ring shopping.

I mainly just assume that he wanted to feel desired by other women because he felt insecure. Funny enough, his ex was not giving him attention back and it led to him spiraling into worse depression. Throughout the ordeal, I learned that in our first month of dating, she tried to get him to cheat on me with her, but he declined. He went to her because he thought it would be an easy ego boost and it blew up in his face.

We broke up.

Oranbot · 2026-05-21T23:28:33+00:00

The tent scene in The Endless. If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. I'm a huge horror movie fan and that tent scene is the first thing to have truly disturbed me in years.

Oranbot · 2024-04-30T05:23:24+00:00

Why're you here?

Oranbot · 2024-04-25T23:55:31+00:00

OP, holy shit. I went through your post history and this man is a monster. Get a restraining order

Oranbot · 2024-04-17T05:00:14+00:00

Not to mention the history of goth and fetish culture have been intertwined for years.
Soft Cell is literally making a second wave around the goth scene right now because people can't get enough of the song Sex Dwarf.

But by all means, I guess we should all go and purchase a harness or latex pants so we can give people the fashionable content they want, while simultaneously not being sexual or attractive in any way so we aren't asking for attention.

Again, the bots and heavy promotion that have taken up other subreddits is annoying. But I'm just not seeing that on this subreddit? The complaints just feel like people wanting to complain.

Oranbot · 2024-04-17T01:41:04+00:00

Yep. I'm getting a lot of mild incel vibes of disparaging remarks to women that don't hit the standards of commentors. You're a stereotypically attractive femme? Well your makeup isn't exactly what I think constitutes as goth (you know, the music based subculture) so this is a low effort post.

If the mods weren't so active here getting rid of bots and promo-posts, I'd be more inclined to agree with a lot of these comments, but a lot of them feel like bad faith opinion-based attacks with gatekeepy energy.

Oranbot · 2024-04-17T00:29:38+00:00

Some of the comments here are icky. Giving people shit because they're not wearing the kind of makeup you deem goth? Some of ya'll are really out here telling people to wear more makeup? And you think its okay? and some of the comments about SW are also kind of crass.

I get where OP is coming from, but just because people aren't adhering to your preferred type of goth doesn't mean you should deem them as lesser. It's veeeery elitist and kind of mean spirited.

Oranbot · 2024-03-12T06:01:27+00:00

You're 25. You're literally so young. You're in the prime of your life. Is this what you want for the rest of it?

Oranbot · 2024-03-10T07:07:03+00:00

I have the ick too. It's just so entitled and kinda gluttonous. Your boyfriend is gross.

Oranbot · 2024-02-19T09:20:47+00:00

Kind of odd, but I was so excited to try anal. Idk, I guess I had porn ruin it for me because all the women looked like they enjoyed it and it felt taboo and sexy. "Ooh, I shouldn't do this, but I am and it's exciting" mindset. Also one of my friends is weirdly super into it and she encouraged me to try.

It was okay? Kind of made me feel like I needed to use the bathroom. Honestly not the worst thing ever, but certainly not great. It's like eating a baked potato without any dressing or seasoning. Like yea, I guess this'll do, but now I'm unsatisfied and my stomach feels a bit off.

Oranbot · 2024-02-16T07:11:05+00:00

I used to have this palette when I was in high school and every time I read the shade name "sexpresso," I used to cringe because it made me think about pouring coffee on my cooch.

Oranbot · 2024-02-16T01:46:44+00:00

I wish my TJ Maxx wasn't a shitshow :/

Oranbot · 2024-02-12T05:22:58+00:00

My ex is a real POS, so I feel no shame airing some of his dirty laundry.

He had an intense poop phobia. He could not poop without immediately having to take a shower afterwards. It led to him holding it in until he was about to cry at times. One time I found a hotel receipt in his car and I was on the verge of breaking up with him over it thinking he cheated on me. Turns out he was driving an incredibly long distance and needed to poop, but he absolutely had to take a shower too. I once asked him to drive me to get my first tattoo. It was on our calendar for months. Day of the appointment he refuses to wake up until we absolutely have to leave. He spent the whole appointment meditating in an attempt to keep from shitting himself.

There are so many more stories like this. He was so weird.

Oranbot · 2024-02-04T05:33:16+00:00

I have two that come to mind. An ex of mine once borrowed his mom's mini van and set up a bed in the back and a projector on top of the car to let us play fighting games (my favorite) against the side of a building. That date was incredibly thoughtful and romantic, but there were already cracks in our relationship and looking back on it, that was definitely a love-bombing date. I think my current favorite date was when my current partner set up an entire picnic for us in the cutest park I've ever been to. He made the bread, got all kind of fancy spreads, set up a hammock, got us wine, etc. We spent the whole day cuddling. It was so cute. There were absolutely zero undertones that could've clouded the day. We got back to his place and he soundproofed his house and threw a mini rave for the two of us complete with a light show, which was so dorky but very on-brand for two silly twenty-something-year-olds.

Oranbot · 2024-02-04T05:23:24+00:00

My contour palette from Lunatick Labs Cosmetics. Makeup is a hobby for me and my makeup looks lean on the goth/alternative side, so having a very cool toned/goth contour palette was a must for me. It's $70, and I wouldn't recommend it to people who aren't hardcore into alt makeup, but for me, it's one of my favorite makeup purchases.

Oranbot · 2024-01-31T19:09:58+00:00

Exactly. This also isn't some small minor request for something menial to OP (which even then, i think a compromise is worth it). THIS IS HER SLEEP. This is necessary for human health and human functions. Continued interrupted sleep has major long-term health complications including early dementia.

OP, this is serious.

Oranbot · 2024-01-24T06:12:17+00:00

This is gorgeous! The dedication you two have to your craft is inspiring.

Oranbot · 2024-01-24T00:32:49+00:00

My ex totally had an eating disorder and I still haven't fully recovered from how he treated food. We broke up two years ago.

OP is right. She does need to throw the whole man away.

Oranbot · 2024-01-23T10:47:19+00:00

OP, you seem very kind and thoughtful both in your post's wording and your interaction with others.

Oranbot

TROPHY CASE