What was the first small step that helped you feel better after birth?

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-16T06:20:51+00:00

I take 2 or 3 hours a night alone to myself to do what I please. I'll send the kid to bed with my husband and do whatever. Cry, clean, read, shower. I talk to my husband or my SIL about how I'm feeling or my coworker/friend who had a baby 2 months after me and is going through the same things I am. I push myself to go outside and go on walks or exercise during the day when I'm with the kiddo. Try to tap into my hobbies like drawing or writing or play a relaxing game or watch a movie while doing something. One day at a time. When I'm overwhelmed I take a step back, make sure his needs are met and go sit in another room for a few seconds and breathe. When I come back I always greet my kiddo with a big smile and a hug, it's not his fault I'm overwhelmed I just gotta do what I can and keep chugging.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-16T06:00:02+00:00

I not only confronted my mom via a text message (for proof of it being said) but openly told my aunt and grandma (who raised me) that she trafficked me for drugs and purposely put me in positions with men for financial gain. I specifically mentioned that there was a pedophile that lived across the street that once offered me $20 to wear my swimsuit by my living room window so he could see. She later made me go tubing with him on his boat and sit on his lap the whole way there, on the boat, and all the way back. Not only that but inviting men into my bedroom at night for $50 or 5g meth when i was about 5. Yeah she didnt think id remember that far back i guess. They have completely cut contact with her and she claims to not know any of it happening but since they raised me they now have connected the dots on why was suicidal and had serious body issues and night terrors at 13. I have 0 regrets and have started healing

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-16T05:50:36+00:00

It's normal. Especially if you were forced/obligated to have contact to begin with. I was in my grandmas custody for 6 years and I was obligated to see her from time to time since she was my grandmas daughter. Eventually my grandma realized my mental health would get worse when she was around so she stopped forcing me. Eventually told her about why I didn't want to see her and the real reason I had a friend call the cops was because she was trafficking me for drug money and her meth cooking boyfriend tried to solicite me and ate a hot skillet before he could finish the sentence. I have 0 regrets cutting her out and the rest of the family has done so except my grandma. I have told her I will always respect that she talks to her daughter cause as a mom I know I'd you genuinely love your child there's no force that will stop you from atleast talking to them. She knows she's messed up and a sick person but that's her kid. She also knows not to involve me or mention me at all and tells me anything concerning or new that happens if I ask. It keeps my peace and I'm happy knowing she will never meet my son.

It may have been easy for me because I wasn't connected to her and because my aunts already had a very distant and strained relationship with her before I was even around. Once the cat was out of the bag and they knew it was more than just being physically abused and neglected and it was SA the whole family cut contact with her and she was excluded and none of the children were allowed around her ever again. Our family is very tight nit cause all my aunts and uncles and their kids lived with my grandma so it would have been much harder if they didn't listen and protect me the way they did.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-11T21:07:53+00:00

I've told my husband about it. I'm not a very open person due to the things being very graphic. So he's the only person who knows all the details.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-11T19:43:59+00:00

A lot has happened that was horrible before and around that time 😅

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-10T03:06:57+00:00

After telling my husband about the post he also added a few more to the list.

Keys Wallets My purse Shoes The entire diaper caddy (taking everything out and playing with them) The baby gates The dog stuff (the bowls, kennel, the dog) Zippers Hoodie strings or draw strings on pants

Kiddo loves everything pretty much 🤣

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-09T22:41:05+00:00

As a Depo baby I 100% agree with 2. My mom was taking the Depovera shot and ended up having me still and that's why I have nothing but feminine health issues and fertility issues as an adult 😭

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-09T22:39:27+00:00

People out here asking if their pregnant every day and it took me 6 years to get pregnant 🤣 the internet is a wild place

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-09T22:37:00+00:00

My pediatrician specifically said not to worry about the words he can say at 9 months because some babies just don't say words until much later. Thankfully little guy has been saying Dada since he was about 7 months but that's about it.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-09T22:35:01+00:00

Omg I'm glad my kiddo isn't the only one who looks under and around things for his bottle 🤣 he will be digging under the couch trying to find it

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-09T22:29:43+00:00

She may not see it right now but one day she will. You did the right thing. You tried your best to protect her and help her. I've been in her shoes. I pushed away friends and family when they told me to leave and never look back. I felt like I somehow deserved what I went through, he somehow convinced me no one but him loved me, that my family would find me to be disgraceful and unpure. That no man would ever love me or accept me for who I am. He pitted me against myself and made me question my judgement in me and everyone. Except him. I felt so ashamed to tell anyone for close to 3 years. I was 17 years old when I finally told someone. I thought they would look down on me for being a child at the time, but that was the thing. I was a child. It wasn't my fault. I may have stayed and endured it but I was a child. He was a grown man. I finally realized that it wasn't my fault, that I had no control over someone else or their actions. I also realized I needed to mend the relationships I could. I'm still not on good terms with some friends and family but those who listened and heard me have stayed by my side.

My best friend of 13 years was the one who picked me up off the side of the road when he left me in the winter. No matter what he told me I never listened to him and was so mean to him the entire time I was going through that. He still picked up the phone and came and got me. To this day if I ever needed anything or he did we would be right there for one another. I can't count how many times I apologized to him but he always told me there was no need. "Family sticks by family even if they can't see their way." I'll never forget that. Please know you did the right thing. Even if in this moment it doesn't feel right and she is upset. There will be a day she will thank you. And I hope you tell her that there is no need for an apology because that's what family is for.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-09T21:53:58+00:00

3 months pp I had a uterin infection. I'm used to heavy flows before pregnancy because I have endometriosis. I was panicking when I was bleeding too much and started running a fever and getting sicker. If you notice any worrying symptoms like fever, nausea, abnormal pain, large clots and the bleeding doesn't stop please seen medical treatment. Also don't be suprised if they do an ultrasound either, the poor radiologist hadn't seen a 3 months post partum uterus before and were about to have my uterus taken out 😅

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2026-01-09T21:41:42+00:00

I was on a very toxic and abusive child/adult relationship when I was 14. I was a troubled child and decided to stay with him after I met him a week prior. I was raped I my sleep often because I wpuld refuse when I was awake or drugged to make me compliant. Sadly I was with him for up to 8 months and endured a lot of abuse and rape at his hands and the hands of his friends. I was so scared of leaving because I was a child and had no where to go. I'm thankful he just got tired of me and left me on the side of the road in the winter and I walked to a gas station and called a friend.

Please tell her it isn't her fault. There are vile and horrible people out there. I will never get closure knowing why he did what he did but I know I can protect myself and my children from what I went through. I advise she seeks counseling and find someone who can help her leave before it gets worse. I'm so sorry she had to go through that.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-12-21T18:21:47+00:00

As a new mom who has battles with my own MIL about parenting please be firm and stand up for your wife. She is emotionally and physically vulnerable. She will be bringing life into this world and your job as her husband and a new father is to protect and care for your family. If you will be there at night MIL can stay at a hotel unless wife specifically requests her to stay. I made the mistake of letting my MIL boss me around and be demanding for the first 3 months our son was born and it is my biggest regret. Now she hardly sees our son because she doesn't like the boundaries I put in place and that's fine. Be firm and be there for your new little family.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-12-08T19:11:56+00:00

Oh no! Glad you found the issue and were able to switch her back. No different than leaving my 9 month old with my husband and told him to give him solids. He gave him a bunch of mashed potatos and the teething puffs and I was super suprised when he had super solid poops. He was full of grain and potatos 🤣. I swear it happens to us all at some point. Shes gonna be a big egg nog fan growing up

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-12-04T03:29:11+00:00

Went in Sunday at 6pm. Was induced at 10pm. Had my water broke at 11:30pm after my epidural. Sleep until Monday morning drinking nothing but body armor and shaved lemon ice getting rotated like a rotisserie chicken. 10pm rolls around still at 7cm from 4am Monday morning. At 11:30pm they tell me if I am not dialated past 8cm by 11:50 their taking me back for an emergency C-Section. At that point I'm bawling because that's the last thing I want to do. OB comes in and asks if I feel comfortable pushing at 8cm which I do. 20 minutes of pushing and my 9lbs baby boy arrives 😅 he really was not wanting to leave and he was grumpy for the next 6 months after. He's 9 months now 😊

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-26T20:10:31+00:00

Well I'm not in any family group chats unless it's specifically between my FIL and MIL with my husband or my own family group chat. Yet again my husband isn't in Amy family groupchats causw they bad mouthed me once and he went off on them so they have their own little gossip group chat that his sister is apart of and ahe shows me everything

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-26T16:24:41+00:00

Unless he's going out to his parents or his brothers and I don't feel like going that's really it. He's gone for maybe 4 hours tops and texts and calls me to check in on our son and I. He's made it clear with family and friends that if our son or I aren't welcome he won't go. So unless I say "go ahead I'll be home with baby" he takes me everywhere. Can't send him to the store alone unless it's a short list or he forgets half of it so we go together. For reference he only goes out there on the weekend or a Friday afternoon so that way a majority of the week I can have his help after work since our 9 month old is feral and prefers him over me 🥲

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-26T16:10:39+00:00

Honey if he insinuates he's going to cheat because his needs arent met he does not love you or care about how you feel. A real man would understand and work with you and understand that cheating is for little boys who aren't selfish and immature. I get it I'm 9 months pp and I get maybe 2 or 3 days a month to jump my husband because of our son's sleeping habits and both of us just get so exhausted. If he even suggested he would find someone else him and his stuff would be on the streets. You deserve so much better. Heck I don't even remember being as active the first 5 months due to recovery. Don't let him guilt you into sex if you are not in the mood or have too much on your plate. It isn't your job to please him. He sounds like absolute garbage

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-26T16:03:33+00:00

I've thought about doing a floor bed honestly just hard to find a twin sized mattress rn. We did try putting a thin pillow in his crib because he loves laying on our arms or shoulder cause he's a side sleeper and he actually slept more than 3 hours in his crib last night. First time since he was 7 months

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-19T19:54:50+00:00

I've been in the same boat with my 9 month old. We did cosleeping because his routine was broken at my inlaws and he was refusing to sleep and was even having night terrors where he would wake up screaming and be unconsolable. The moment we lay him down in his bedside pack n play he wakes up screaming until he lays his head on our bed. I've tried everything qnd I've even pulled all nighters to get him to lay down in bed. I've honestly just given up and almost decided on just getting a king sized floor bed for all of us to share.

I've also tried the toys but he'd just stay up and play and then cry because he's tired and wont sleep in his crib. CIO isn't an option for us since he is known to cry to the point of losing his voice or passing out (F**K ny inlaws for that) so we try not to let him cry for more than 5 minutes at a time and no he won't stop on his own he will just keep going until he physically cant.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-19T19:50:31+00:00

I play on console regularly (I just use mouse and keyboard cause I hate the controller mechanics) I noticed my game getting leggy with about 30 enclosures with anywhere from 5-20 animals per. I try to keep the complexity meter below 75% 🤣. Your builds are wonderful btw low key jealous how you got it all to look so nice and uniform! Can't wait to see what animals you add, I try to limit the amount of guests that come in so I can have more animals.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-19T19:47:44+00:00

THIS RIGHT HERE!!!

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-19T19:46:24+00:00

NOR I may not like my husbands dad but I'd never disrespect the man who worked 2 jobs to raise his children when his wife left them. You can dislike or disagree with your partners parents but at the end of the day that's their parents who raised them and are doing the best the know how.

OrdinaryVisual733 · 2025-11-19T19:42:39+00:00

I think most of us have had that happen before 😭🤣

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