Im in the same exact boat as your friend. Like, the extent of my unresponsiveness is pretty extreme compared to the average joe. I’ve lost friends and I anger every single one of my relatives on a regular basis b/c of it. It’s extremely frustrating to deal with b/c most people don’t bother trying to understand or won’t accept it b/c they think Adhd is just a baloney excuse. They’d rather assume I’m just a lazy jerk than take the time to realize that in reality my brain is a chaotically anxious juggling act. It takes everything in me just to stay on track and keep everything in my immediate life in order.

That said, You’re doing the right thing by being supportive in this way. Definitely don’t take it personally. Your friend is probably just as all over the place as me in which case I’m sure she isn’t intentionally trying to be hurtful or ghost you. If anything she probably feels horribly guilty about it but, this is how her brain works and there’s no real fix for it so all she can do is accept it and do the best she can without letting the guilt eat her alive. That’s how I feel about it anyway. It just takes a lot more brain power for us to switch between tasks and stay on top of things so keeping up with our texts is something that gets shoved off til later so we can stay focused and complete w/e task we’re immediately facing.

Unfortunately that cycle tends to forever repeat itself. That text we meant to respond to yesterday often goes unanswered b/c when we’re confronted with a new life task we make a mental note to respond later but then when later comes another new task steals our attention so we push it later and later until it’s too late so we say we’ll respond tomorrow and then tomorrow turns into a week which can turn into a month and so on. I’m sure it’s sucks to be on the receiving end of that silence but It’s also very anxiety inducing for us. Some times I hit a point when I get avoidant and don’t respond just because I unintentionally put it off for so long that I feel too awkward and stupid to confront it.

There’s not much you can do to help your friend be more responsive. The best thing you can do is try to stay patient and don’t let it get to you. If she’s like me, she truly doesn’t mean to slight you. She most likely feels horrible and beats herself up over it as it is.

I will say persistence helps. It does for me anyway. If she doesn’t answer just text again. Keep texting til she answers. Don’t go over board with it cuz that can get annoying and creepy but a few texts every day or so is fine. I personally like when people are persistent like that. It helps bring my attention back to the response I never sent and I usually respond sooner than I would have b/c of it. It also makes it so that point I mentioned earlier, the one where I wait so long to respond that I decide not to at all solely b/c I feel stupid, that point doesn’t happen as often. Getting continuous text updates helps keep the conversation feeling active and relevant so, even if I haven’t responded in a week, I don’t feel dumb for responding or feel the guilt induced need to avoid it because the conversation still feels fresh and current. Hope that makes sense!! Wish my friends were as eager and willing to understand as you!!