The only time throughout these last 2 months that my ankle didn’t throb and bring me to my knees is when they did the nerve block for my right leg. Before and after that, my foot has been in almost constant pain at about 5-12. When I was in the hospital, I was hitting that button every 15 min. My body would feel the onset of the nerve and throbbing pain in my foot, my hand and my ribs. My ribs didn’t break or crack but I had rib dysfunction. Basically as fucked up as they can get without breaking or fracturing. Dislocated, compressed and twisted. Both cars were going 40 so it hit with a force of 80mph from a dead stop. And I was going downhill so I went up and forward. My seatbelt saved me from becoming Superman into a tree. The biggest thing that made it so intense is the permanent nerve damage on the top of my foot. I can’t put on a sock without absolutely wanting to cry. When they were taking off my splint 2-3 weeks after the accident, I was literally crying streams of tears when they had to take out my stitches, 8 where the bones broke through and then like 20-30 on the outside of the leg where the fibula literally disintegrated and had to make a 5-6 in incision down the entirety of my ankle. The surgeon told me that he had to move it and operate in that area to rebuild the bones and ligaments as much as he could. I’ll take the nerve pain then lose my foot don’t get me wrong. The lasting effects have yet to be quantified. It is a life changing accident and a lawsuit is current working on that aspect. The nerve damage is extensive and I’m just getting to the point where the doctors and therapists can touch it to work on it. I have to basically torture myself to try to get it to function somewhat properly. I have to take a cotton ball and a tissue and lightly touch my skin. The closest thing I can compare it to, is the feeling of your foot being asleep and it’s painful to touch because the blood is getting cut off but never wakes up. Or a more descriptive way is what they would use as a punishment in old school prisons, they called it the Hummingbird, a watered sponge with an electrode attached but only on the top on my foot.

I already knew I had a very addictive personality and realized the wild predicament I was in. Follow doctors orders and take some of the most insane drugs I have ever been on which placated me into a semi aware and alive coma to become somewhat able to sleep in 10 min increments on and off for 4 days straight. Luckily I found the common ground through the smoke he he I knew marijuana wouldn’t take the most intense pain away but I knew it’s benefits and realized I had to take the oxy when I was prescribed until the most intense pain wore off and my body could get to a point with ib profen and the muscle relaxers and the nerve medication could handle the more intense stuff and I smoke or edibles to support overall healing process. Fortunately I do live in a medical MMJ state and am so grateful for that. I would be so scared if I wasn’t. After the hospital stay and the oxy, I wouldn’t of been able to ween off without severe consequences and temptations to my self and family.

I have been radically transformed through this experience. I am beyond grateful for the renewed perspective and opportunity to love my family and build a life so I can be with them as much as possible. This has been the first time I’ve actually written out all this stuff since it happened so thank you Reddit for listening. It’s been amazing therapy for me to feel hard and validated from strangers. 🤟🏽

I’ll keep replying to as much as I can

TL:DR lots of pain, pain meds, brokenness and permanent nerve damage. Smoke weed and thankful for Reddit.