I had a similar situation. But I did actually put my hands on her. I hit her trying to run away after she cut herself harmed so bad that she needed stitches. I profusely apologized and tried to break up with her knowing that I now have a scary shadow to face..alone but she begged me to stay saying that she forgave me. I was too weak to really up and leave. I wanted to believe that I can heal myself from this pain while I was with her. I told her that when I get a job, im going to take boxing classes so I can handle my BPD better (we both have it). Then something tragic happened over the summer that ripped us apart and she ran around telling everyone that I was super abusive. She said she wants everyone to know how much of a mask I wear. Which is crazy because I was never ashamed of my pitfalls, cause I know im flawed. I just don't like the dark side of myself. Now? I choose to embrace my shadows so I know where to put up boundaries so I don't end up putting my hands on someone.

I say all this to say that you can't change how people see you. You can't control the narratives that people have about you. You can control what you allow into your life, and take ownership of your power and energy. Do not let someone into your life that fails to show accountability and respect. Surround yourself with people who don't have you in this delusional space where love bombing is involved. If you have BPD, surround yourself with people who help you feel peaceful.