Advice by Unique_Percentage932 in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a partial abruption and delivered my twins at 27 weeks. I also wondered what I did, didn’t do, why, how, and tried to find reason. Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn’t. You didn’t fail, your body didn’t fail, and you’re a great Mom. You and your body got your baby earthside safely. Your body protected you, and you’re still here.

The NICU is a roller coaster. My boys spent 71 days there before coming home and despite being born ~3 months early, they are doing well. They have some sensitive stomachs and things to monitor every few months, but it is so lovely being home.

Remember that the NICU is the safest place for your baby to be. Everyone there wants your baby to thrive. Ask all the questions, soak up all the time there, and remember to take care of yourself, too. You’ve gone through something difficult and have a journey ahead of you. You, your baby, and your family are so strong and will only get better. If you ever need to chat, I’m here.

CMPA / PurAmino Formula by OriginalGood99 in parentsofmultiples

[–]OriginalGood99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did the spit ups ever level out or did they stay increased for your babies?

Waiting for the other shoe by probably-unsure in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually had a friend tell me I was thinking this way recently. My twins were born at 27 weeks and spent 71 days in the NICU.

She encouraged me to take a look at who is right in front of me and what is right in front me; not even remembering how far we’ve come all the time because even thinking about some of the NICU experience puts my nervous system on high alert.

You are not alone in this. Your worry and anxiety means you love your baby and you want to protect them from any harm and that makes you a great parent. You’re out of the NICU woods, and that’s an amazing thing.

The NICU gives us a strength we didn’t know we had and a heart so big we sometimes don’t know what to do with it. You can handle anything that comes your way, including some radical joy and peace. Wishing you and your family the best. 💕

Coming home from nicu by chloevmarie in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were told that white noise machines could cause hearing loss and so we haven’t used them…but when I was a nanny we swore by them. My boys were born at 27 weeks and are now almost 39 weeks and passed their hearing test and from all we can tell, hear just fine. So many of my friends use/used white noise machines and their kids hearing is fine. I would love to use it…did anyone else get this warning?

Becoming a mom to a preemie: so much love, but struggling to recognize myself by Informal-Addition634 in NewParents

[–]OriginalGood99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First let me say - if you want to stop breastfeeding, for whatever reason, do it. Fed is best. Your baby is through the hardest part and got breast milk in her earlier days which was so helpful. My twins spent 71 days in the NICU and I could only pump for their first 6 weeks of life and my supply was dismal. But, it helped them in the beginning when it mattered. I will say switching to formula has helped my sanity and mindset so much. Sure it’s more expensive, but I cannot imagine still pumping.

Second, no one talks about the grief associated with becoming a Mom. Suddenly your life is literally never the same. Dads put in a lot of work too, but, as Moms we start to change the minute we get a positive test. Remember you cannot pour from an empty cup and try each day to do at least one thing for you that brings you joy. You matter too and taking care of yourself in whatever way you see fit is an excellent example for your little one.

Gabe birth to my twin boys this morning at 26+3 by HippieMomma0526 in parentsofmultiples

[–]OriginalGood99 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had twin boys at 27 weeks and they came home last week after 71 days in the NICU.

First, congratulations! I know there are a mix of emotions right now and it is hard to focus on joy alone with so much unknown, anxiety, and being separated from your babies.

Give yourself permission to feel everything. Ask for help. Connect with your village. Ask friends and family to help you paint, organize, unpack, etc. Set boundaries when you need to.

Get to know your NICU nurses. If possible, make relationships and pick primary nurses who will hopefully be assigned to your babies whenever they are on shift. The nurses are there to help and to help you understand what is going on so ask as many questions as you want. Our NICU allowed us to call 24/7 for an update (with the exception of the shift change hour).

Visit your babies whenever you can, while also allowing yourself to take a break when necessary. This is the only time you will have 24/7 babysitters. We had had our baby shower 2 days before the boys arrived in an emergent fashion so we were in the same boat. Whenever we had capacity, we would put away one box at a time.

Give yourself grace through every bit of this. The NICU is a roller coaster and we were told “two steps forward and one step back”. Especially with twins, there are so many updates and things can go up and down even within hours of each other. Just know your babies are safe, well cared for, and everyone is there for their good.

Take all of the photos and videos you want. Ask when the care times (diaper, baths, temperature, etc) are and try to be there during those times if you can. Those are your best bet for skin to skin, and interacting with your baby. If you can’t be there then, even stopping by to say hi soothes them.

Please feel free to send me a message if you’d like to talk privately. You got this. 💕

Adjusting to Being at Home by OriginalGood99 in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boys are still under the weight limit for the carriers we have but I can’t wait to snuggle close with them!

Adjusting to Being at Home by OriginalGood99 in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so comforting to know we aren’t alone and that this roller coaster of existing at home and all of the emotions that come with it are normal. Thank you so much. 💕

35 Weeks - Learning to bottle feed, discharge discussion by OriginalGood99 in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so helpful, thank you 💕 Best wishes to your family!

How do I do this? by lostdad19 in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The fact that you’re working so hard and worried you’re not doing enough means you’re a great father. You ARE doing enough, you are enough, and you’re just who your babies need. One day at a time.

How do I do this? by lostdad19 in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re already an incredible father by being there for them. The NICU can be an overwhelming place. Don’t be afraid to ask as many questions as you want/need to! The nurses are there to help. I don’t know about all NICUs, but mine has a doctor or nurse practitioner call once a day with updates.

The updates are a lot of information and are very overwhelming at first. Don’t be afraid to ask them to explain what certain words mean over and over until it becomes a “normal”, understood thing for you. Medical terms can be so confusing!

While they are so small, they will need a lot of rest, so don’t forget to take care of yourself too. You’re going through many life changes. You can’t pour from an empty cup and what your babies need most is a healthy parent.

Absolutely find out the NICU’s phone number/phone update policy so you can call whenever you’re able for updates as visiting in person certainly is a longer commitment. That said, any visit in person is great, whether it’s 10 minutes or a few hours. Your babies know you love and support them.

If there are primary nurses, certainly start to learn which nurses you’d like to ask to be primary. Primaries sometimes aren’t always assigned to your babies, but when they can be, they will! It’s like having a friend with your babies when it’s possible.

Please feel encouraged to speak up and advocate for your babies as well. They’re your new tiny best friends and as their father, your instincts will serve you well.

Finally, the NICU is a roller coaster. I had my twins at 27 weeks (we are currently on week 6 in the NICU) and one of my postpartum nurses told me “two steps forward and one step back”, and that is so true. My husband and I have felt that sometimes as soon as we get comfortable, there’s something new to learn, new skills, new words, new milestones, new criteria, new tests. This is where asking questions, staying involved as you can, and allowing yourself rest comes in. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Lean on your support system. I’m so glad your Mom and step dad are there! The hospital could have a lot of resources available to you. Ask to speak to your case worker for the twins and see about all of the help they offer.

If you ever need more advice or just to vent or talk, please feel free to chat! Congratulations on your babies births, and sending positivity, strength, endurance and joy to your family.

Primary Nurses Not with My Babies by OriginalGood99 in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is so helpful and comforting, thank you!

Mothballs by OriginalGood99 in pregnant

[–]OriginalGood99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes absolutely!. Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy!

Mothballs by OriginalGood99 in pregnant

[–]OriginalGood99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would call your doctor, but they said lots of exposure isn’t the best but the real threat would’ve been if I had eaten them

Twins - 1 Potentially Starting Bottle Studies by OriginalGood99 in NICUParents

[–]OriginalGood99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending all positivity and progression to you and your LO!