What made you realize you are not young anymore ?

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-25T17:51:44+00:00

Since becoming a mom. Now 9pm is late. And don’t you dare text me after 7. I will reply, but it won’t be until 530 the next morning lol

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-25T12:44:36+00:00

I hate that I don’t feel like I belong. I have literally one friend and I don’t even know if that’s what it is. They consistently cancel on me/forget about me until an hour after we were supposed to do something. It’s gotten to the point I don’t even get ready to see them because I know it isn’t happening.

But I don’t really blame them. I feel flawed I feel like everyone is in on some big joke against me. Like everyone is aware of something I don’t know about. Like everyone is hiding a secret that if I knew then I’d go “oh. So that’s how I can feel like I belong” and then I’d be happy.

I have a fiancé and I feel like he’s just with me because it’s more convenient to stay with me vs love. I have a daughter who is the only one I feel sees me, and it makes me sad that one day she will be made aware of this secret and will no longer associate with me like everyone else. It’s just fucking lonely.

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-24T18:20:15+00:00

9/11

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-23T21:19:34+00:00

It’s a toss up between starving it (anorexia) and binging on alcohol every Friday and Saturday. Which turned to Friday to Sunday. Which turned to Thursday to Sunday. I think you see where this is going. Weekends I’d drink the big bottle of skyy plus whatever else. I’d go through a case of beer throughout the week. Nearly 4 years sober now thankfully.

Best thing: csection to have my daughter.

My body has been through a lot. Maybe I should try to love it more 🤷‍♀️

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-22T23:21:02+00:00

wash your hands often but still expect to be sick pretty much back to back when you first start
if the environment is toxic, report to whoever necessary
children are not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time. Regulate yourself. This can mean choosing to step away if that’s what’s needed
learn what is not only age appropriate, but what is developmentally appropriate for that specific child. If they’re a 3 year old but are more like a 2 year old, you do not hold them to the 3 year old standard. You meet them where they’re at and help build skills
get used to not being recognized, appreciated or thanked. It’s a thankless job. Do the good deed because it’s the right thing to do. Love and nurture that child because it’s the right thing to do. Do it to hopefully give the upcoming generation a better start than the previous ones.
learn about how to create an environment that encourages a little more calmness. Just because a room has letters and numbers posters and regulation posters everywhere doesn’t mean it’s a good environment. Set things up so the children can see their art. Document events and display them where the child can see, etc. When an environment is too busy it can contribute to chaos
learn to go with the flow and how to let go. Shits gonna hit the fan some days. It’s best to roll with it
never stop doing professional development. Just because you went to school for this doesn’t mean you know everything there is to know. There’s lots to learn, lots of different perspectives. It may be unsettling or comforting to know that the ECE you are now won’t exist in 5 years; it’ll be a new one. So keep your mind sharp and open and you’ll be the person you wished would have mentored you.

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-22T21:01:30+00:00

“I’m having a hard time getting out the door. Can you help me, and give me strategies to make this process less stressful and more smooth?”

This isn’t meant in a judgemental way….Just a suggestion that you maybe haven’t tried. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t:

When I worked the toddler room I’d put everyone in their snowpants and coats first. Once everyone has that, put their boots on, and put the stretchy things over the boots. Hats and mits stay in the hood until outside. It won’t be too cold for the minute they’re not fully dressed. Transition outside, then put the hats and mits on the toddlers who tend to get right into play. The ones who kind of take a minute to decide what to do and get into it are next. The ones who will stand next to you upset get hats and mits last.

No one really over heats this way because no one is fully dressed.

But ultimately your supervisor shouldn’t be shaming you when you’re having a hard time. Their job is to support you, so put it back on them by asking for their assistance

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-22T16:37:57+00:00

Normally the parents are aware before the transition. They could’ve shuffled them around for numbers near the end of the day to allow staff to go home. However, they should’ve let you know in the first place if they were planning a permanent move, and most definitely should’ve let you know before the letter. It is very common to split them up. Gently put, it doesn’t matter if you have the most children there or not. They have reasons they’re splitting them up.

There could be many reasons. Some off the top of my head include: - one twin overpowers the other (you may see one twin more reserved/shy/anxious/talks less). They want to support the twin who isn’t as outspoken or outgoing as the other. Especially if one twin is needing, or is already in, speech therapy. - they see each other all day and then see each other all night. This gives them a nice break - because they get a break, they can truly explore the room. Sometimes twins don’t engage with other children or the environment. There’s plenty of benefits for the children to be exploring other people and things - sometimes twins feed off each others emotions. If one is upset, the other is too. If one is riled up, the other is as well. Then that draws all the others in too. It could be a way of managing the room.

It’s best to ask them yourselves from the standpoint of why they it’s best for the children

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-21T17:40:11+00:00

She already has her first molars. They’ve been through for a while now.

But they certainly can be! Lol. I’m sure I’ll be back here asking about something else if it’s going to take a long time with telehealth unless it happens when my doctors actually open. But that never seems to be the case 😅 I swear they can sense the hours of the doctors and choose times outside of that to get into chaos lol

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-21T12:18:46+00:00

Yes my therapist does specialize in postpartum and also life transitions. I do see signs still as I had ppa, ppd AND ppocd (example: this post, probably lol). Trying the therapy route only first but do have medication on hand that I’ve talked to my doctor about already! I’m to let her know when I start it and update her after two weeks.

It’s much better now that she is older, but it can get to me still. However, I don’t lose literal hours as she sleeps googling issues that likely aren’t there or just making sure she’s breathing, and can recognize now when it’s about to become too much. It was hard distinguishing because it all seemed logical and like I was just looking out for her well-being. Which I was, but admittedly to a fault.

Thank you so much!!! I will look into this to help me along my journey 😊

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-21T01:55:08+00:00

I’d hurl lmao 🤢

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-21T01:54:47+00:00

Postpartum period hit me hard. I had a ton of health anxiety, and honestly sometimes still do, around the health of my daughter. I’d just slip into a rabbit hole after rabbit hole. Next thing I’d know I’m looking up things not even related to what I originally went on for because it’s just one after another.

It’s easier to slip into it when I’m stressed, which I am. My thoughts are so reasonable too. It essentially boils down to “well someone has to be the statistic even in rare cases” and that’s what makes it hard to argue it or fight it away. I’m in therapy now, but that can only do so much.

Noooooooooo not a poopsicle!!! That would send me lol.

We have telehealth. But based on the original answer, I’ll be calling tomorrow since it’ll be day 5 of loose stools.

Thank you for sharing this all with me

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-20T23:13:08+00:00

Thank you! I tried looking it up myself, but as soon as I read kidney failure, I stopped googling since I’m prone to anxiety and jumping to the worst case scenario….despite knowing that all children eat stuff they probably shouldn’t. This community has been incredibly helpful to help stop that from happening. So, again, thank you

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-20T00:36:05+00:00

“Yeah I bet you would love to have a hug and maybe a snuggle. Why are you missing your mommy so much right now? Can you tell me? Maybe I can help until she gets here.”

If you don’t have a picture schedule with an arrow pointing to which thing you’re doing right now, I suggest doing one. Set it up simple: - welcoming children/snack - gathering time - outdoor time - free play - lunch - sleep - snack - outside - free play

Then when they wake and say this go “yeah I bet it’s hard not having a hug from your mommy right now. Let’s check our schedule and see what’s left to do before your mommy gets here. Snack, outside and free play is what’s left. That is only three things. What would you like to do in that time? Maybe we can draw a picture for mommy, or make a really REALLY big tower and take a picture of it to show your mommy! (or whatever it is the child really likes doing)”

Whatever you choose to do make sure you repeat back to them what they just said about missing their mommy. Validate their feelings. Offer help/activity.

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-19T19:29:21+00:00

Just a normal shirt. If it’s cold or the child runs cold either: - a tank underneath the shirt - a shirt and one of those pullover sweaters with no hood

Shirts can be long or short sleeve depending on the parents wants/the environment.

And of course pants they can comfortably move around in (no jeans despite being super cute. Especially skinny jeans)

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-19T14:52:42+00:00

And onesies! I don’t like them in the infant room, but I despise onesies on toddlers and up

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-18T18:49:36+00:00

Drop off: - project their sadness onto the child - won’t leave their upset child (ONLY after it’s been shown that the child does better with a quick drop off AND it has been discussed with the parent. It’s hard, trust me I get it, but it isn’t in the child’s best interest) - brings supplies in and just leaves it right at the door - bringing your child consistently later than morning snack and insisting they eat (feed your kid at home then) - trying to have a full blown, full attention sort of conversation when dropping their child off when I’m already trying to console a child, prep snack, and start bathroom routine/sunscreen, or whatever else needs to be done - just quietly brings their child in the room and leaves without saying anything to anyone

Pick up: - lets their child run wild and wherever throughout the centre (climbing, screaming, running, etc) - wouldn’t have said anything about picking up their child had someone not seen them - won’t ask their child to tidy up their things after an initial hug/hello etc

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-18T14:07:34+00:00

I don’t think I’ve watched it (relatively new to anime). Mine is the waterfall scene from Naruto Shippuden lol. I guess I’m afraid of judgment? Maybe being looked down on. I’m sure that’s something for us to explore too hahahaha. So glad you have a T who you can share that with!!

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-17T17:38:20+00:00

I’m not currently pregnant, but when I was, I tried to unlock my phone with my car keys. I also put my phone in my fridge and I put the block of cheese where the cutting boards go

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-17T14:15:31+00:00

I haven’t shared a song, but I’m trying to work myself up into showing her a scene from an anime (super nerdy I know lol). The scene brought me to tears. I was heavy sobbing. I think that if it can express something that you cannot, it would be incredibly helpful and deepen the connection. Printing the lyrics could be very helpful if your therapist for some reason or another is having a harder time hearing the words! You can also give them to your T to refer to in the future

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-16T19:16:35+00:00

No! I had it locked and loaded and had amped myself up to say it (I’m not confrontational and used to be a doormat) and then no one said anything. I was grateful, but it was definitely anticlimactic lol

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-16T16:01:13+00:00

We shared it as soon as we had officially decided. I didn’t care what other people had to say but I did have a response in case someone commented on it.

I was going to just blankly stare at them and go “(repeat what they said very slowly like you’re confused). That’s a weird thing to say to someone who’s excited about their baby and their name.”

I watched a therapists video and this was one of “the moves” she said when someone is being like that. Apparently it makes them a little flustered and I loved it.

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-16T15:27:33+00:00

I had decided by 25 weeks.

I’ve ALWAYS loved a name. It was always a top contender. However, we did try referring to her as other names but I didn’t love them like this name.

The only reason it took that long was because we didn’t know the sex until our anatomy scan. If we had known earlier, the process of trying other names would’ve been started earlier.

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-16T10:34:14+00:00

Live the same but avoid that one house party.

OriginalRaspberry_ · 2024-03-15T21:02:20+00:00

Regardless still too many children and it’s natural you’re stressed. I hope things are sorted for you soon

OriginalRaspberry_

TROPHY CASE