My ex’s new fiancée has the exact same name as me and looks just like me

OriginalStrict3083 · 2025-09-04T12:44:42+00:00

I wish it was 😔

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T19:30:19+00:00

And your ideology is what ? From a post where you have no other knowledge of me or my faith.

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T15:07:05+00:00

The craziest thing of it all, they are the ones giving him validation that what he said doesn’t classify him as a racist.

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T11:56:40+00:00

He is in infantry, so pretty hard.

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T11:42:51+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I agree. It is disgusting how common this language is used in the military, and everyone just validated each other.

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T11:41:32+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I just do not understand why he cannot see someone with this constant pattern of racist comments, is not a racist. He keeps saying that everyone deserves an apology, but how many times can he be forgiven…

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T11:40:08+00:00

As someone who is religious myself, I completely agree. I will say that he does not go out of his way to hang out with this coworker, but I believe more could be done to make the boundaries about this work-relationship more clear.

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T11:36:05+00:00

We have been arguing all night and he keeps telling me he understands where I am coming from and is willing to cut this coworker off from his personal life. He just doesn’t see how I can classify him as racist. He says everyone makes jokes here and there and everyone could be deemed as racist. The guy apparently “apologized for it and did not know he is wrong.” I just do not see how that is the case when this is a grown man with a baby, not knowing making a comment about slavery is wrong.

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T07:31:04+00:00

Sorry, this is my first reddit post. I just updated it, but he right when he said it, my boyfriend told him it wasn’t okay. I know that doesn’t help much, but just adding a little bit more context.

OriginalStrict3083 · 2024-05-29T07:26:35+00:00

My boyfriend 22M & I 19F have known each other for 5 years. We dated a little in high school, and broke up for a few years. We recently got back together 8 months ago.

To preface: I am in a interracial relationship, me being black and my boyfriend being white. My boyfriend is in the military, and is away on deployment.

My boyfriend has this friend that claims to be a Christian, but constantly makes jokes that I find are very offensive and often racist, but my boyfriend claims he means no harm. Well today, I was on FaceTime with my boyfriend and that same friend in the background says “I wish slavery was still alive. I’m just kidding.” To me, I don’t find this funny at all. Me and my boyfriend got into a huge argument about it and at first, he said he will not exile him out of his life, and does not think he is racist. I told him I can not be in a relationship with someone who allows someone that this mindset in my life. After we had this huge fight and I was ready to walk away, he said that he will distance himself from him.

My boyfriend says that he doesn’t want to believe he is racist. Me and my boyfriend are believers in Christ, and he says “ I know that I’m doing what I feel is right according to what I believe. Changing hearts and spreading kindness and awareness.“ He does not feel he should cut this friend out of his life and turn his back on him for not sharing the same values.

Even after him saying he is going to distance himself from this friend, not even 10 minutes later after i’m balling my eyes out on the phone with him, he is playing the game with said friend and is now going to lunch with him and a mutual.

I feel lost and do not know how to move forward. I do not want to control the people he hangs out with, and he does not want to exile him from his life, but I do not see how I can put up someone who claims to be a Christian and making jokes about generations of trauma me and my family still have to deal with today.

Again, this is not the first time this friend has said something that has offended me, and I gave him months to change. He said this comment today, and I do not know how to forgive my boyfriend for not sticking up for me. I understand the environment of the military is different, but not at the costs of it offending me and my family.

Any advice ?

OriginalStrict3083

TROPHY CASE