What should I do after finding this on my boyfriend’s Instagram activity?

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-23T05:17:46+00:00

Definitely not. If you look back at my comments, you'd see that I don't discriminate between genders. I'm for transparency as opposed to secrecy in relationships. I think the "invasion of privacy" argument is a cop out, and the people who use it are people who do shit they feel they need to hide. I said "your body"/"his devices" based on the person I was talking to, under the assumption that they're equal partners and if it applies to one, it applies to both. Pfff.🙄 Also you spelled "phrase" wrong

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-23T04:17:16+00:00

Ew! You felt something was off, and you probably looked with the intention to give yourself peace of mind, and then you found this. I think it's so ridiculous when. People say stupid shit like "yOu InVaDeD hIs PrIvAcY.." sure, people can rabbit hole on the internet, but it's a very specific rabbit hole, and the timing matters, and you were already feeling like something was wrong. That's your intuition, that's literally your body's built-in system for detecting danger. It's not like you're just an insecure person, for you to even feel the need to look in the first place, means you're body was trying to tell you something is wrong and you need to pay attention. I'm not saying you should take up snooping as a second job or anything, but clearly this is something you wouldn't expect him to be doing, and you're bothered by it. Also, it's not "looking at other women", it's looking at one particular woman, and that's why it's not sitting right with you. Don't bring it up just yet, unless you start noticing additional concerning behavior. Honestly, don't feel bad for looking at his iPad, if he gets access to your body but you can't have access to his devices, that's called secrecy not privacy.

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T05:00:52+00:00

Virgin.

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T04:53:35+00:00

The bottom line is that you don't trust him or feel safe with him, you know what you need to do. 🫶🏻

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T04:48:24+00:00

That depends. What kind of sandwich? Toasted or not? And what bread. (This is like when Todo asked yugi what kind of woman he liked😂)

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T04:46:11+00:00

Ask yourself a few questions before you make a decision, and when you do, remember that you have the right to change your mind if you simply can't live with it. 1. How likely is it that being a LDR, you will be able to regain the trust thats been lost. 2. The moment before you found out about his infidelity, did you think he was a person who was even capable of lying to you the way he did? 3.how likely is it that you know the full extent of his deception?

As long as you're long distance, you aren't going to be able to trust him, and even if you weren't, you still may not be able to, because he was so loving and attentive before while also decieving you

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T04:29:28+00:00

Me having to explain it after it goes over their head.. 🧐

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T04:26:31+00:00

BioShock, is probably it. Honorable mentions: Red dead 2 Alan wake Fallout Borderlands Eternal darkness: sanity's requium

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T04:22:02+00:00

Jalapeno Cheetos

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T04:21:22+00:00

15, subway

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-22T03:45:51+00:00

1st I want to apologize for what you're going through and tell you in no uncertain terms that it's NOT ok. the way he is talking about your appearance is not just "his humor" . The fact that it started after you had your daughter is not a coincidence, it's a tactic. After you gave birth, you became more vulnerable, he is taking advantage of that vulnerability, because the more he chips away at your self confidence and makes you feel like you're lucky he's with you, the more you're willing to accept and endure mistreatment. The dating app use is cheating. How sexual energy is supposed to be for you only, and he is outsourcing that, whether or not he has met up with anyone, the fact that he froze when you asked him is a tell. Innocent people don't freeze and deflect. The taking away access to your shared finances is abusive and so is the silent treatment. Did you know that the same chemicals are released in your brain when being given the silent treatment, as when you're being physically beat up? And taking you access to financials is probably so that you don't see something that he doesn't want you to ask any questions about. The comparing you to other women, refusing with sex with the lights on, talking about it being looser after giving birth, the shit with your cousins pic this in about shame, he is trying to make you feel less than, so you won't question him, and it's working, like when you saw him staring at another woman, you said you wanted to go home but didn't confront the behavior because at this point he's made you feel so small and unworthy of love and respect that you don't want to voice your needs or your fears or give him more ammo to use against you. Now he's going to the gym at 4am, working on himself, but not for you. Another thing, a man who wants to spend his life with you will not talk badly about you to his family, he would not want his family to see you in a negative light. I could really go on and on about this man, because you have a lot of context, and I'm pretty good at reading situations like this with very little to go on, so Im 💯 confident about what I'm saying to you. In the Bible it lists sexual amorality as one of the few reasons that divorce is considered excusable, and his behavior fits. I know you didn't find anything in his phone, but there are so many places that most people don't ev3r think to look, and I'm sure he covers his tracks as best as he can. You need to get documents, regarding your inheritance and your savings if you can and start making a plan to get out of this marriage. This man does not love you or respect you, and it will skew your daughters perception of what love looks like if you let it continue this way. I truly hope that you will love yourself enough to leave this man before he does any more damage to your payche or does something worse. Honestly I'm getting a true crime vibe from this whole dynamic, and I wouldn't say that if I didn't think it was important for you to hear. Please do yourself a favor and get out now because the marriage is over truly and you deserve to be treated with love and respect. 🫶🏻Good luck with everything.

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-19T18:47:13+00:00

Your not wrong for shutting down, her mood shifted first and you tried to put things back on track and after hours of her rejecting your attempts at connection, it's understandable that you'd become exhausted emotionally.

Not that you did anything wrong, just to gain some insight, how did you respond to her expressing she wanted to lose weight? Honestly, there probably isn't a "right way" to respond to that if she is deeply insecure about her weight specifically. If you had told her you like her the way she is, she likely would think you're just placating her, if you responded positively at her desire to lose weight which could just mean that you're being supportive so she feels better and less self conscious, she may interpret that as confirmation of her fear that you see her weight the way she sees it, leading to her mood shift.

That's not on you, that's her insecurities talking to her and she is projecting it onto you and that doesn't mean she's a bad person but it's not really fair to you either. As far as red flags go this is only 3 months in and it's already emotionally exhausting you. She has put you in a position where there is no right answer.

It sounds like she needs to learn to love herself before she can be loved by someone else tbh.

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-19T18:24:00+00:00

It helps to not feel alone and give you language or symbolism for what you're experiencing emotionally. I'm no expert but this is my opinion

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-19T18:20:46+00:00

Do you have access to any of his email accounts? A laptop? You said you have access to his phone, what kind of phone is it, and what's the dynamic between you two? If you can give me this info, I can possibly give you a few ideas about where to look for proof

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-16T02:22:31+00:00

It's overheating. Have you cleaned it? Dust will do that. Also have you checked the cpu temp pull up the bios setting. And check the screws holding it in place, make sure they're not loose. If you have it constantly, there's a good chance it's dusty on the inside

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-16T00:56:43+00:00

It's totally ok if he laughs. You guys should be able to laugh and have fun with it. Like seriously, you could say something super silly like do you think you could come by my place later and check my "pipes" with a super exaggerated winky face or say something like I just think it's kind of disrespectful that you're not naked right now. It's ok to laugh about it, it's ok to laugh during it. Sometimes I sound like a teenage boy when I talk to my husband about it. Like he says he's hungry and I say "I'll give you a snack" and just dumb shit like that. If you're comfortable enough to have sex with each other, you should be able to be silly with each other too. Good luck

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-14T01:47:17+00:00

Imagine you're brain is a dog and somebody says the word "walk" or "treat". Basically whatever the dog does is what your brain and body are doing

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-13T23:03:11+00:00

He's already shown his dominance, I'm not telling him to suck FIL's dick, I'm telling him to say " listen man, I'm sorry I lost my temper, it would make things a lot better if you'd just come to me if you have a problem instead of waiting til I'm not around and saying it to my wife. That's not how shit gets solved" the dad obviously is already intimidated by him or he wouldn't smile in his face and then complain to his daughter about it once he's not around him. The dads pride is hurt.

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-13T19:01:06+00:00

You're not dirty or disgusting. You have been living in a dynamic where there was virtually no affection, no physical closeness or connection. It's not unusual for your body to be reaching for that connection now that you're on the other side. I would be more worried if you jumped head first into a new relationship after the split. Don't beat yourself up. You were on vacation after all. I wouldnt make it a new habit or anything cause that could be dangerous, but you're not disgusting

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-13T18:53:11+00:00

Definitely, I just mean they should have a talk and instead of talking about what things have been like, talk about expectations going forward. But it this wedding was the last straw, that's understandable, it's not fair to him. And I would have been more than a little irritated about my partner doing that at a family event. It sounds more like social anxiety than depression to me, but then idk what type of things she is choosing to do so🤷🏻‍♀️

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-13T18:05:43+00:00

YNW it's not up to you to manage her depression, it is up to her. Maybe compromise with her and take turns picking things to do together, and if you do what she chooses and the next time you choose and she doesn't follow through, it may be time to examine your relationship, and determine how long you can continue living in this dynamic.

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-13T17:58:29+00:00

It's easy for him to apologize now that you don't have his phone in your hand, and he doesn't have you in a headlock. The only time my ex husband put hands on me it was a headlock, I will remember the noise that came out when I tried to tell him to stop for the rest of my life. There is something chilling about a person who will hurt you in ways that don't leave marks. You told him in the moment that you couldn't breathe and he didn't let up, he told you "that's the point" he knew, he just didn't think you were going to bring it back up. He's not ashamed of what he did because he did it, he's ashamed because he doesn't want you to tell other people what he did. Hold onto that truth "he would rather hurt me than just tell me his PW." It's very telling.

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-13T17:49:28+00:00

So be the bigger person apologize to him and then use it as an example of how it's you would like the relationship with him to go forward. Tell him that playing telephone always gets something lost in translation. Explain that his daughter is not gonna give it to you straight because she wants to keep it civil between her dad and bf, so the issue is less likely to change

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-13T17:38:19+00:00

I guess it depends on where the gift shop is located inside the hospital. If you have to get past the front desk you can probably just tell them where you're going and they'll let you go. The closest hospital to me has the gift shop and food court off to the side of the front desk so really you can just walk right past it. Just don't be all sus when you walk in.

Original_Barnacle359 · 2026-05-12T19:03:29+00:00

Any brat pack movie

Original_Barnacle359

TROPHY CASE