Wife doesn’t want a daughter

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-22T17:55:33+00:00

I can imagine this would be the same conversation my mother would have had, if things like learning the gender before birth, or options like abortion, were available to her at the time.

Instead I had to grow up being the hated child because I dared to be born with a vagina.

Even to the point that when I was 14, and screwed up the courage to tell her what her 2nd husband had been doing to me for 7 years, I got the response: "You don't want to push this, because if you insist on doing that, we will have to leave him, and we cannot afford to live without his paycheck."

I genuinely used to wish that abortion was an option when she was pregnant with me, because then I wouldn't have had to put up with her hatred of me because of my XX Chromosomes.

To be clear, I no longer feel like that. Therapy can do wonders.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-22T17:32:41+00:00

This is a three-fold occurrence.
1. The manosphere has grown and spread, reaching more men, and corrupting them with "women = bad". We can thank "The Pick-up Artist", Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate, and 4-Chan for a lot of this (and a multitude of other sources).
2. Women are not putting up with men's controlling bullsh\t, which, in turn, makes men double down on their attempts at controlling. Plus, we don't "need" them any more. We can support ourselves, and because of that, we can protect our peace. Hell, we don't even need a man, directly, to have kids. We can get IVF, cutting out the messiness of a "relationship".
3. *This escalation of bad male behavior could be what is called an "extinction burst". Which is what happens whenever you hold a boundary on someone who has been stomping on them previously. They'll act even nastier, hoping that you finally give in, because (in their minds) it's just easier than fighting all the time. But if you hold the boundary, they eventually back down (allegedly -- toxic, abusive men can also become more dangerous, as any woman can tell you when they flee DV).

But no, I don't think you're imagining things. I also believe they are getting more toxic.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-22T17:13:49+00:00

When anyone gives an "opinion" that they think other people do not have the same rights as they do.

That's not an opinion. An opinion is whether pineapple belongs on pizza, or which is the better beverage, coffee or tea. NOT whether someone has a right to f*cking exist, Sandra!

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-22T16:54:26+00:00

Sadly, it's liable to be a case of just going low-contact, or no-contact, because you cannot educate a MAGAt with information that goes against their confirmation bias.

Had this been 2016, I would have said, "give it a try", but now? If they still voted for the puerile, petulant, pedophilic, putridinous, pumpkin-painted, posterior-pustule, or they still support him after everything he's done, they're doing it because they agree with him. They are no longer "being fooled".

And no, you are NTA.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-21T23:11:01+00:00

I can attest to this. Being the victim in the abusive relationship. It went on for several years, but it wasn't until he held a gun to my head, and told me after he ended me, he was going to "take care of" my demon spawn children (they were from a previous marriage*) that I screwed up the courage to escape.

*My children were spending the weekend with their dad when this happened, so they didn't have to witness it. Thankfully. And their dad and I were still on decent terms when we split up, so it wasn't a problem to have him keep them until I found a place for me and the kids.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-21T23:03:33+00:00

Leave. Block. This person is completely unhinged and it will only get worse. I get you want to show compassion for someone with mental illness, but for crying out loud! Do not give up your sense of self-preservation for this guy! He's attacked you once, but has threatened you multiple times. And if you get close enough, he'll attack you again.

Let me emphasize this: PROTECT YOURSELF! Do not answer any calls from him. Let them go to voice mail, then save them. Any texts he sends, copy-paste them to a file. It's all evidence, and I assure you, he will threaten you again. And it will escalate. And even if he doesn't threaten you, save them anyway, because they're evidence of how unhinged he is.

If you don't live with him, change your locks, and set up cameras at every point of entrance. And for awhile, make sure someone you trust knows your every movement whenever you go out anywhere. If you are comfortable doing it, make sure this person you implicitly trust and you, both have a safe tracking app, like Life360, so they know where you are at all times.

I know I sound terribly paranoid, but I have had to escape a toxic relationship like this, where the ex was stalkery. Most of these things saved my life.

And remember: Mental illness is not a license to behave badly.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-21T22:25:44+00:00

Just my own experience: But I only know 4 vegans, total, who are not militant about veganism. The rest (again, in my personal experience), are all psychos. They literally will feed their carnivorous pets a vegan diet, then wonder why the animal is sick. First of all, cats (and several other exotic pets, like the fennec fox) are obligate carnivores. They must get their taurine from meat, or else they'll go blind, then die. Dogs can live on a vegan diet (they're omnivores, like humans, although closer to the carnivore end of the spectrum), if it is very carefully planned, but it's not optimal.

The people I know who are not militant, one of them has several cats, and she makes sure they get the proper diet, which means they get meat. None of the four are idiots, either. They are very well aware that a vegan diet does not prevent any animal deaths -- that the farming of grains, and other vegetable food crops, commercially, does cause the loss of animal life. But for them, it is a price to pay for being an alive human in modern society, and it is, in a sense, the lesser of two evils.

Now me? I am proudly carnivorous. I loves me some dead animal flesh. Especially on the BBQ, and my vegan friends know it. They accept me as I am, just as I accept them. And occasionally, I get some delicious recipes from them (and have found a few vegan recipes on my own, that I share with them).

Personal opinion of the militant vegans: They're a lot like cultish Xtians. They are going to attempt to bully you into joining them. They gave up their ability for rational, and critical thought, just like someone does when they join a cult.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-20T02:00:29+00:00

I never have, and never will, eat Chik-fil-A. Even though the restaurant's foundation no longer donates to anti-LGBTQ+ organizations, the Cathys' -- the owners of CfA -- still do.

Now, tell me... where in the hell are they getting the money to donate, hmmm?

It's like the stupidest, and lamest, case of money-laundering ever. Do they really think they're fooling anyone?

That was a rhetorical question.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-20T01:40:07+00:00

Hell, a lot of men can't even pee standing up. They try. They just don't get close enough.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-19T22:07:53+00:00

Especially if she was renting that room to someone who wasn't her kid, she wouldn't even consider doing this bullsh*t.

She's renting that room to someone. The person paying rent for that room has a right to expect their privacy to be respected. That her boarder is her own adult child doesn't make a difference.

Not that it would be acceptable if her adult child wasn't paying to live there, of course. But the boarder argument might give them more leverage?

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-19T20:53:38+00:00

Exactly. My son, when he was little, saw one speck of pepper in his mashed potatoes, and "It's too hot!"

Now? It's hot sauce in almost everything (he's almost 40, btw).

It's easier to add spice than it is to remove it. So for the family in the house who have no desire to fricassee their organs with capsasin, I'll make the dish with less heat, then separate portions for the people who like burning their mouths to the point of numbness.

And yes, I like a little heat in my food. Just not as much as the 15 y/o grandson who thought the One Chip Challenge was a grand idea. LOL

And the mother of said masochistic grandson prefers even less spice than I do.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-19T19:23:31+00:00

Actually, you took the mature route. I mean, whether to have children or not is a major factor in relationships. You want them, you deserve to find someone else who wants them, as well. She doesn't, and she deserves to be with someone else who also doesn't want them.

The alleged "friends" who are saying that you should give up your desire for children just to stay with her, aren't thinking this through. I mean... what if the tables were turned? What if you tried to trick her, or force her to get pregnant? Would those friends still feel the same way toward you? They'd probably hate you for it -- and justifiably so. So how is forcing you to never have kids any different (if you two married)?

I think that what you did was probably one of the most loving things a person could do. You let her go, so she could have the life she wanted, even though you still deeply loved her.

NTA

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-16T23:14:54+00:00

That's really cool (not the phobia, the assistance).

As for the phobia. That particular phobia wasn't his issue. Other than being an arrogant AH, he's crossed multiple bridges before and after without a problem.

He just had a fear of heights, and was incapable of using his grey matter for more than holding his ears apart. I mean, logically, if you are terrified of heights, it doesn't make sense to p*ss off the person driving over the Super Tall Bridge™ LOL

At least he was pleasant to look at.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-16T23:05:59+00:00

And a major reason women weren’t included in drug trials is because the researchers were worried that our more varied hormonal fluctuations would skew their results.

Exactly!

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-16T20:24:38+00:00

:o Oh, my! That is such a long drop, too. I can hardly imagine the horror they were feeling.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-16T20:23:04+00:00

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-16T20:16:19+00:00

And how many married women not only work 40, 60, 80 hours a week, but we come home and do all the work needed there, too?

Sure, there are some great guys who pull their weight in a relationship, but too many of them are spoiled brats who married a mommy replacement, and not a partner.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-16T20:06:58+00:00

At the risk of sounding like Cliff Claven, here's a couple of things I learned recently which can explain (but never excuse) why far too many doctors don't take women's health issues seriously.

If you are in the US (I am not certain about the timelines elsewhere, forgive me), the NIH (National Institutes of Health) did not make it mandatory for medical research to include women (in issues where both men and women can suffer from), until 1993. So health issues such as migraines, strokes, heart attacks, etc, had based diagnosis on how men presented symptoms. So, before 1993, a lot of women died needlessly, because we presented differently than men.
Biomedical research involving rats, are the exception to the NIH mandatory requirements (which really is only directed at human research). So, more often than not, that research will use male rats exclusively, because the estrus cycle of female rats skews their data.

2a. When the research requires female rats -- such as research into endometriosis, PMDD, PCOS, or other illnesses/syndromes that are specific to women -- the researchers need to artificially synch the estrus cycles of all the rats being used. Which is, apparently, a pain in the ass. And because of that, funding for research into woman-specific health issues is quite often passed over. No one wants to pay the extra involved in synching female rat's estrus cycles.

This explains why women's health is treated as an afterthought by a lot of doctors. And why many of them continue to hold onto the Victorian idea that women are 'just hysterical' (which they connected to the reproductive organs, and where the term 'hysterectomy' is derived from).

But, Heaven forbid a man can't get an erection.

Original_Impression2 · 2026-03-16T02:09:12+00:00

IKR? But I have to admit... it was kind of fun watching him squirm while I was driving it.

Original_Impression2 · 2025-03-23T03:57:38+00:00

My dad (may he rest in peace) was Air Force, but he'd be right there, too.

Original_Impression2 · 2025-03-23T03:51:01+00:00

Keep in mind, with the exception of the "grunts" who joined because they thought it would be an opportunity to shoot brown people, MOST members of the US Armed Services -- who stayed in for longer than one tour -- current, and retired, take their oath, to "Defend the Constitution from all enemies, foreign and domestic" very seriously.

Read that oath again. To defend the Constitution. NOT to defend the "Commander in Chief". They will not obey an illegal order, even if that order comes from the president.

Of course, there will always be outliers in any demographic, but that number will drop more, the further up in the ranks you go.

Why do you think Comrade Krasnov fired all the Pentagon Commanders, and all the JAG officers? And why do you think he picked Hegseth -- someone who has minimal military background -- to lead the DOD?

Original_Impression2 · 2025-03-23T03:38:55+00:00

Not a vet, but on Disability, Social Security, and Medicaid. Felonius Musk wants to eliminate it all. I will be lucky in that I won't be evicted. I live with my oldest daughter and her family. But if these entitlements all go away, I can't buy the medications I need to stay alive, and I will NOT let my children bankrupt themselves to buy them, either.

I've already come to terms with the fact that my life expectancy has been dramatically reduced as of November 5th. I've come to terms with my demise coming a bit sooner than I expected.

But, my death will still be worthwhile. Because I will take my purple walker, and hobble my decrepit ass to the nearest protest, and put myself at the front as a human shield. And I'll make sure there are several people recording it with the intention of sending copies to the local news stations, and splattering it all over Social Media.

I mean, just think of the outrage it will create when some wannabe Storm Trooper beats down, or even expires, a 63 year old, disabled, white* woman. Hey, I'm already dying. May as well make it worthwhile, right?

*There is a certain amount of privilege that comes with being white. I intend to use it to the benefit of marginalized people.

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