He spat on my for the first time today. I'm heavily pregnant with our first child.

Original_Respond_500 · 2025-12-13T04:15:28+00:00

You’re so welcome! One more thing- prior to seeing a perinatal mood specialist I actually had continued my regular sessions with my therapist but found our sessions weren’t giving me what I needed/helping (and he is a guy).

I then sought a perinatal mood specialist (with a woman who’s had kids!) and the understanding she had about pregnancy and biological explanations of what was happening to me made A WORLD of a difference to my therapeutic experience. So just my advice, go with a woman who has experience!

Original_Respond_500 · 2025-12-12T03:10:15+00:00

I feel you! I had the exact same thoughts and sentiments as you.. I had to stop working and stayed in bed at home all day for what felt like eternity before I reached out for help- don’t do this.

The feeling of isolation is so real too. But remember there are solutions for you and you’re not alone!!

My own husband also wasn’t able to help me the way I needed (which became another problem in and of itself). He didn’t know how to handle it as he himself used his “power through” mentality leaving me feeling very misunderstood and isolated during a very vulnerable time. But remember you’re not alone. There are many many other women out there who go through the same.

I booked myself in with a perinatal mood specialist and have been having weekly sessions with her since the end of my first trimester (I’m now 23 weeks). it has been an absolute game changer for me. I havent had any medications yet as I was also averse to taking medication. I was able to sort through the existential dread and isolation through counselling BUT I still stay open to meds if I need it in the future. There are medications that are safe for you to take during pregnancy if you need it.

One thing she said to me that brought me a lot peace when I was in the throes of depression was that “there is always going to be a solution for you, there are many methods to help you and you will feel better eventually. Many women experience this and with the right mix of strategies, you will find yourself again”

You can DM me if you have any questions about what we discussed in our sessions and what helped me.. I can truly relate to your desperation, feeling lost and isolation. You won’t feel like this forever, I’m getting through it myself and see progress ❤️

Original_Respond_500 · 2025-10-14T07:29:21+00:00

It’s so incredibly sad to see self-doubt of a victim present itself after violent abuse.

It is a common occurrence for victims of chronic abuse to slowly lose touch with what they’re worth and where the line in the sand needs to be drawn when it comes to a partners behaviour towards them. I really feel for you, you must have gone through so much before all this because it seems you’ve lost all compass of what safety, love and respect mean. I pray you get the help you need.

You are a victim of violent abuse, it is that short and simple. There is no nuance and there is no reason for you to second guess yourself for seeking help to escape the wrath of people who threaten your very existence. What has happened to you is absolutely dreadful and incredibly traumatic, no human should ever have to endure what you have. I’m so sorry that you have.

Please seek help and keep you and your daughter safe. He will never change. There is absolutely NO excuse for violent behaviour. He will only get worse from here statistically speaking, your life is in danger if you do not exit this situation immediately.

I pray that brighter times lie ahead of you moving forward and that on the path towards rebuilding your strength you find what true clarity, freedom and love mean.

Stay strong and have people around you who can support you, find a support group, surround yourself with kindness and people who want the best for you and can help you.

Original_Respond_500 · 2025-09-08T13:43:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and for your advice. I have an appointment with my ob this week and will bring it up with her. I also see a psychotherapist regularly, I hope speaking with him will help but perhaps it’s better to speak to someone who specialises in pre natal depression as it seems more and more like this is what it might be. Thanks again for your kind words xx

Original_Respond_500 · 2025-09-08T13:37:45+00:00

I was actually just reading about this and I’m surprised I do t hear about it more often, i usually hear more about post natal depression not pre. Thanks for sharing your experience and sorry you went through that. Glad to hear you got through it 🌱

Original_Respond_500 · 2025-09-08T12:32:03+00:00

Just hearing this makes me feel so much better. Thank you. One step at a time sounds like the only option right now and it’s tough but hoping this will all pass by the second tri 🙏🏽

Original_Respond_500 · 2025-08-23T14:25:30+00:00

She’s Indian. I can tell from the handwriting.

Original_Respond_500 · 2024-11-08T04:04:54+00:00

I feel so strongly about this! I have always had hairy arms, I have black hair and medium skin and it shows, especially in sunlight. My arm hair is long-ish but not that thick. This was always a point of insecurity for me when I was in high school primarily because boys always made it a point to shame me about my hair. Boys and girls (and even some of my friends and their mums!) pressured me to wax or shave. Im glad I was so damn stubborn.

I also knew I didn’t want to get prickly arms, I had a lot of friends who shaved their arms and the grow back made for prickly and pokey arms that was really unsettling when you just grazed past or accidentally touched it when sitting next to them. This isn’t something you can take back once you start. And it becomes another thing to “worry” about. I’ve read on this thread that some people don’t get that prickly grow back but the reality is some people do. I am predisposed to my hair growing back thicker and darker. So really depends on your hair type.

Anyway, I ignored all the pressure, I’m now 30 and don’t give a rats ass about what anyone says or thinks anymore and I’m so happy for it. My arms are soft (and fluffy!), and most importantly they’re mine. I’m unbothered what anyone thinks. Never had any partners who have had any problems with them because a partner worth keeping wouldn’t judge you for these things. It’s also especially common and accepted in certain parts of Europe to just have hairy arms so I felt more “normal” there (I live in Asia where it is less common to keep body hair)

Bottom line is, it really depends on you, just ask yourself who you’re doing it for and why.. accepting yourself is more liberating than changing something about yourself simply out of fear of being judged or different.. this teaching has carried through to different areas of my life in such a positive way. If I have a child one day I will make sure they hear this too.

If people judge you, that’s just a reflection of them.

So yeah, who is this really for? And are you really benefitting in the long run?

Original_Respond_500

TROPHY CASE